if (false) { run AbsoluteSolver.exe } Murder Drones x Male Reader

YOU HAVE UNO. IT COMES WITH YOUR XBOX

{You caused this @PPuurrssoonn7 }

{I listened to the Jeopardy song while writing this and it was an excellent experience.}

I dodged the missile aimed at my head.

V: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Jack: TESSA'S YOUR MOTHER SO YES, YES I AM.

V: WHAT THE FUCK JACK?!

N: Can you please calm down-

V: SHUT UP N! I WAS SO CLOSE!

Jack: THATS WHAT SHE SAID BITCH!

J: Guys I really don't get what the problem is-

We heard the sound of a card hitting the table. We turn to see Uzi playing a +4, sending J from 3 cards, to 7.

J: OH YOU LITTLE PRUPLE EYED PIECE OF SHIT!

J was infuriated not by the +4 itself, but because this game had been going on for 5 hours. This would mark the 6th. Uzi laughed maniacally. Me and V joined in. N was a little concerned about how this game was affecting our mental state. Tessa was terrified. Because she was probably next.

Tessa: N, please, I beg you. Don't play a +2, or a +4.

N: I don't have one, I have this.

N played a blue 5. The color I'd called out when I +4'd V. Tessa shook with rage. I swear I saw N's mouth curl into a smirk. He knew what he was doing. It was a well-known fact now that the only cards Tessa had been able to draw were yellows, and she clearly did not have a 5. 

She quelled her anger, under the impression that N was just playing the game and not trying to be malicious. She drew 7 more cards before finally getting... a yellow 5.  

I then played a blue 5, V played a blue reverse, and I played a blue 2. 

Tessa: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

We all fucking WHEEZED. Tessa Realized that N knew EXACTLY what he did.

Tessa: N YOU BASTARD!

N dodged a smack from Tessa, his voice giving out from laughing.

Jack: This is an abstract carnival of pain

Uzi: And it's your fault.

Jack: Oh no, It's 🏱︎🏱︎◆︎◆︎❒︎❒︎⬧︎⬧︎□︎□︎■︎■︎🖮︎'s fault. 

Uzi: Who? 

Jack: Don't worry about it. Worry about that.

N played a +4 that he had been nice enough to not play on Tessa, who was currently weeping. N's +4 was stacked on by J, smacking Uzi in the mouth with a +8

Uzi: Wha... N! I thought you loved me!

N: All's fair in love and uno.

Uzi sprouted wings and lunged at him. Neither N, nor J had called out a color, so we decided to keep it blue. We were currently down a few players, so we just skipped N and Uzi, adding 2 cards to their hands every time we did. By the time they returned from their little battle, 10 cards had been added to each of their hands. They were pissed, but them's the rules.

The game went on for another hour, Me, Tessa, and J were all at Uno. N was trying to get Tessa to win, V was trying to get me to win, and J and Uzi had formed un unlikely alliance of trying to get J to win. V played a +2, betting on N to jump in on it and hit J. It worked. Uzi played a +2, expecting V to betray me and stack it. She didn't. V took the +2, and I slammed my card down on the table. The game was finally over.

V: YES! HELL YEAH! COME ON JACK UP TOP! YES!

Uzi and J cried in each other's arms for a moment, not expecting V to not betray me. Then, Uzi pulled out a gift I'd given her. Uzi filled J's stomach with lead, using an Uzi. Tessa and N didn't have the energy to be as upset as they should've been, but Tessa did manage to say one thing.

"You're sleeping in the mainframe room."