Crescent Moon - Twilight Fanfic

Chapter 5 - Look at all these headless chickens

- Winter - Months Later -

Stocking the flames with my stick, I smile with glee as I tend to my fire cooking my salt baked roast. I stole some aluminum foil and coated the fucker with herbs. It's going to taste HEAVENLY. I'm drooling already, although I'm interrupted from my tending by the sounds of booming claps my brows furrow in confusion. It's not storming out.. what the fuck was that noise?? Squinting I grab my Moose ghillie cloak hung next to my door and run out the door sprinting into the forest towards the noises. Who the fuck is making this much noise on my turf? They bout to get they ass whooped. I frown at the thought of more of those things, like that man who attacked me.

Hearing sounds of wolfish snarling I go alert as I book it faster. The mutant wolves are here?? Leaping into the trees I run through the branches like Naruto, having mastered it in my short time being here. Looking down into the clearing my eyes widen. Are you fucking kidding me?? THIS ENTIRE TIME IVE BEEN IN FUCKING TWILIGHT?!? I COULD OF BEEN WITH JACOB AND JASPER, HELL THE VOLTURI?!! INSTEAD OF THE GODDAMN WOODS?!?!?!? I look down and see an army of newborns fighting the Cullen's and wolves. oh it's the Victoria battle.

"Jesus Christ..." I whisper softly knowing that they can't hear me from all the noise, looking down I see Jasper about to get ambushed from behind. "No, baby boy!" My eyes widen as I act without thinking. I hold my hand out, grabbing the newborn with the force. Using him as a puppet I fling him around and start killing the other newborns nearby. "Nah I don't think you lil bitch. Ain't nobody hurting the bestest boy." Jasper is my favorite character, along with the Volturi and Carlisle. I'll be damned if my southern gentleman daddy is hurt. Not on this smol girls watch! No siree! I snap that newborns head off with a flick of my wrist. They need help, I don't want any of them hurt. I quickly move onto the next. The Cullen's begins to look confused as Newborns heads just begin to fly off and get yeeted into the fire pits as I get increasingly lazy about it. Not bothering to hide anymore. Eh I'll just book it before they can realize I'm here. The moose musk bombs and my cloak I have should be enough to mask me.

My hands work overtime to slaughter them all. Looking to Jacob I see him about to get ambushed and his ribs broken. "Tsk. Watch your ass puppy." Flicking my wrist I move Jacob out of the way so he cant get hurt, allowing him to kill the newborn with a snarl. before resuming the slaughter. Jacob may be a dingleberry, but he's still a better pick over Edweird.

Carlisle stops fighting and looks around to the trees, for the person helping.. his eyes lock onto my form and they widen. Ah shit, the puppeteer has been seen. I give him a wink and return to murder. Humming the lyrics to 'Tiptoe through the tulips'.

The last newborn is yeeted into the fire and I sigh. Dusting my hands off with a smile, standing up to crack my back. I go to move and run just as Carlisle talks out loud and everyone turns to look me. fuck.

"Ah shit..... DISAPPEARING NO JUTSU!" I throw open a bag of ash causing an obstructing cloud to form and open my bottle of musk pouring it over my head and I book it. Leaping through the branches holding my arms back like naruto. I hear them follow me as well as the wolves.

God dammit can't a girl just anonymously help and leave? "OI! LEAVE ME ALONE! DONT YOU FIND IT CREEPY FOLLOWING A LITTLE GIRL HOME! FUCKING PEDOS!" I bellow out as I continue to run, making sure I lose them before I go to my house.

"WE JUST WANT TO TALK!" Jasper bellows out from below.

"YEAH SURE! DO YOU GOT PUPPY'S AND CANDY TOO?! MAYBE A WHITE VAN PERCHANCE???" I hear the wolves snarling beneath me and I groan rolling my eyes.