Deals with Daisy // LN4

75 ~ Last Night

Lando's POV

"I could never forget Silverstone."

I pull away the moment the secret is whispered aloud, my heart in my throat as I look for her eyes. I was hoping that I'd be able to read her mind that way. They've always been the window to her soul but she focuses them on the sand instead, looking away from me. My immediate instinct is to take her face in my hands and lift her eyes to mine, to force her to look at me but I'm scared as well and that stops me from doing that as I stare at the top of her head. I didn't think I was ever going to tell her that I remembered it and now... it's out in the open.

"Daisy?"

The word sounds so scared as it leaves my mouth, a moment of insecurity because, despite all that I've tried to show her that I'm interested in her, I'm not convinced that she sees it. Not really. My only positive sign is that her hand is still in mine and she's not shaking me off and trying to run away. I wouldn't blame her, the moment the words left my mouth I suddenly realised how wrong it was that I hid it from her for all those years. I knew before but revealing it now felt like a special kind of stupid and was just another example of me going off plan. 

"Can you say something?"

Now I really sound uncertain and I hate it. The warm breeze is kind of cold as I'm standing across from her on the sand for long enough that the water begins to tickle at my feet and I have to fight to ignore the distraction as she continues to look away from me. It's only when I feel the water that I realise that I'm not just holding her hand but gripping it tightly. I'm trying to make sure she stays here as I try to find a way to fix it and before I know it, I'm rambling like I've never rambled before.

"Look... you cried and then you slept and when you woke up the next morning... I know it's stupid but I saw you swipe left on Raya and so I knew you regretted it. I thought saying that I forgot it ever happened was the smartest way forward. That it would save us the confusion and embarrassment of addressing it and I'd just gotten you back... I had just gotten you back. I couldn't lose you again but I know it was wrong and I've wanted to say something but then I felt like I was in a weird situation. I was going to tell you but the time was never right and then I was with Elena and I just... I thought it was better to avoid it. You're my best friend Daisy. I couldn't lose you," I try to explain, watching as her head rises as she listens to what I am saying closely. "I couldn't lose you to a kiss I knew you regretted..."

The last words seem to be the ones that surprise her the most, her grey-blue eyes widening, her perfectly plump lips parting as she looks at me, the picture of perfection. Truly, I chose to do this at a bad time because with the sun behind her, her hair moving slowly in the wind and her dress flowing, she looked like a vision. Pure beauty and now I was left rambling like a dork in front of her, unable to express how I really felt. She says something under her breath, the words so faint that the wind blows them away and her eyes glance up the beach to where our friends and family have continued on before she looks back at me and swallows nervously. I watch as a multitude of things change in under a millisecond as her shoulders push back, her head raises, her energy calms and the panic seems to fade a little as the corners of her mouth rise a little, smiling softly at me.

"I didn't regret the kiss..." she repeats the words I missed before, the words stopping time for just a moment as it's my turn to look shocked by the confession. I'm ready to grin like an idiot as I realise what she's said but the happiness and relief fade as fast as they begin. "I-it was good to know what it was like. No more questions around it but it doesn't need to be a big deal. I always told Elena that nothing happened but if you want to tell her then I don't mind, I guess she deserves to know. You got to do it right this time because you won't get another chance with her," she tells me and I'm ready to push her directly into the sea with those words. Honestly, there aren't enough words in the English or Italian languages to express the disappointment I feel that she still isn't understanding me as I look at her must be evident on my face but she doesn't acknowledge it.