Deals with Daisy // LN4

83 ~ Fashionista

Daisy's POV

"How have you been Daisy?" my therapist asks from across the room and I smile at the middle-aged woman who has more Botox in her little finger than I have in my entire body. Not that I judged but it did amuse me that we looked the same age. Good for her.

God therapy makes me so uncomfortable. Which is why it's important that I'm here. When I no longer want to avoid it - I probably don't need it anymore... hah. Jokes. I don't think I'll ever not need it.

"I've been good," I say coyly, my cheeks flushing as I remember the images of Lando last night, his perfectly sculpted chest below my fingers flashing before my eyes as I try to focus on the therapist in front of me. "I-yeah... lots of things changing."

"I heard about Lando's move. How do you feel about that?" She asks and I think for a moment before shrugging.

"I'm really happy about it. Happy for him. I think it's a good move and I'm glad it was the one he wanted to take. I reckon it'll be a really good fit and yeah..." I say smiling because it wasn't what I was even thinking about, she didn't know that but it's not her fault. "I... I, er... I guess I do have something that I should mention here..." I say slowly, a little unsure about my words and she just motions for me to speak, a soft and patient smile on her lips as I try and remember the words in the right language, still slightly unable to believe that the words were going to leave me right now. "Lando told me he was in love with me," I eventually force out. Even through the constant calm that she always portrays, I can see that she is surprised at the revelation, only growing as I try to explain further. "I told him I did too... love him that is... so we're... together. I think."

"You think?" She asks, equal parts confused, amused and curious at the situation I've described. It's taking everything in me to keep my attention on her and not the condensation dripping onto my legs from the cold brew cup in my hand, my mind trying to distract me from talking anymore. It's not so easy to distract me though because I've gone hot from the attention, my cheeks bright pink and my heart beating harder as I relive the feeling of falling into this version of reality all over again.

I still felt like I was dreaming.

"Yeah... well, we are in a relationship. We're together... I just- there's something about it that doesn't seem real still," I confess, stumbling over my own words and thoughts and she seems to understand that there's still a lot that needs to be worked through here and so she stays quiet, allowing me to launch into the explanation of everything that happened and more importantly - everything that still hasn't happened. "He's technically not said I'm his girlfriend but I think that's what he means and generally... I'm just lost now. I don't really know what's happening."

"Why do you think things are going to go wrong? Do you think that he doesn't love you?" She asks back, her voice calm and I listen to the question with as much patience as I can manage.

"Well... he's only just out of his relationship with Elena and they were going great until I relapsed and had my crash when they suddenly broke up out of nowhere..." I begin my explanation and she notes my words before looking for me to talk more. "I just feel like maybe there's some trauma response. Like I know that he cares for me, we're best friends, so maybe between their breakup and almost losing me those feelings transferred to me? Like I'm a rebound?"

"Is he a rebound for you with Laurent?"

"No, but that's different," I tell her confidently and just see her waiting for further explanation as to why that is different. "Elena is better for Lando than I would be."

"In what way?"

It's such a simple question to such a simple statement and yet my mind is totally blank as I sit in front of her, I know I have good reasons but they've all disappeared. There's a familiar discomfort in my chest that says we're moving towards some sort of big and scary realisation. It's a feeling that makes me want to run but I don't. Instead, I play with my bracelets as I look out the window instead of at the doctor until she realises that I can't find an answer to her question.