Deals with Daisy // LN4

72 ~ Willpower

Daisy's POV

When Lando finishes this season as world champion and people interview me and ask me what gives him his championship-winning edge... there's one thing that stands out to me.

His goddamn willpower.

I didn't know how much more obvious I could have been that I wanted him, I was painfully aware of it and while he's not the most observant, there's no way that he missed it. What had started out as another teasing game had resulted in me no longer pretending and all my morals of making sure our friendship stayed intact so that nothing would be weird with Elena in the future had been slowly but surely drowned out the longer his fingers danced across my bare skin. When we were in the water I'd forced my eyes to the sky in a desperate attempt to not look at his face, knowing the moment he'd brought me close to him that I was fucked. I was past done for and so I knew that I couldn't see the stars in his eyes or the water and moonlight glistening on his skin because I wouldn't be able to control myself. I was undone enough by just his hands on my body, it had set my heart racing but I didn't have it in me to pull away. 

So by the time he reappeared in my doorway in his boxers, I was very genuinely not in control of my thoughts or my words. His cheeks growing redder even in the dark let me know he had very much struggled to change me with his eyes closed and all of it just made me want him more. 

I wanted to know what that care and consideration would feel like. I had very genuinely given him an opportunity to take me in a moment of craziness. God... I'd have been ready to sacrifice my ability to breathe to get fucked by him because that was how much I'd wanted it. Wanted him.

But no.

When his hand reached my ass at the same time as the words came out my mouth to confirm that I'd removed my underwear... he let go. He fucking let go. Withdrawing his hand so fast that you would think my body was dancing with flames and he was scarred by it. I'd been ready to close the gap and press my lips against his, to have a night that I'd never forget but apparently I was the only one in need of it. 

Instead, I shut my eyes and pulled away, turning over in the bed and grabbing the second pillow I still hadn't dispatched - placing it between us as I scrunched my eyes closed in an attempt to simply delete the tears that were threatening my body. I reckon I would have been shown up so quickly if it hadn't been for the way that Lando reached around the pillow and replaced his hand on my waist, over the covers. I wanted to shove him off and throw him out of the room but I couldn't do it. It almost pained me how much it was exactly what I needed and ultimately helped the tears to disappear as the need for sleep reclaimed my body before my emotions could become too overwhelming.

When I woke up this morning, Lando was gone but the pillow remained behind me, indicating that unfortunately, it hadn't been a fucking nightmare but a painful reality. I grabbed the pillow in question and screamed into it, out of character for me but I needed to get it all out so that I could begin to figure out how I was going to go downstairs and pretend that it hadn't happened. I sure as shit wasn't going to lose him to a moment of hornyness. A few seconds later I realise that at least a little bit of my discomfort is actually to do with the salt water crystals on my skin and in my hair so I pull myself out of the bed, deciding to start small with how to fix it. After thirty minutes straight under water that was hot enough to almost singe my skin but not effective enough to wash away my shame, I get out, giving up on that goal as I head to get dressed.

The only real benefit of the shower other than getting the salt water off my body was that I was able to take some time to think over what had happened. Did it still hurt? No. Was I embarrassed... yes. Was I delusional to think that he wanted me too?... maybe? But I didn't think that I was totally wrong for making a move. I had gotten mixed signals from him over the last twenty-four hours, especially during the meal... but he had said he was going to make me pay. Safe to say he'd done that... I will probably not be trying to mess with him in that way so much.