If I Have To

Things Seem to Happen

New York, New York
March 15th

Xena L.

It still amazes me at the type of life I live. The luxuries that I was gifted because of my name and the people I came from. So knowing that I was here among actual skilled models as a newbie was bizarre. Ellen really had trust in me to allow me to walk in this show. Which is why I was so nervous about me doing this in the first place. If I mess up, trip, fall, or anything else then I was going to make a fool outta myself and the hosts.

I don't think I could do this.

I took a deep breath while I stared at myself in the mirror. All nine of us were in a room getting fitted into our clothes to assure that they fit. I was already having issues with the clothes since majority of them weren't fitting. They were too tight in certain areas, making my walk extremely uncomfortable and odd. I feel like the coordinator was getting annoyed with me and I didn't like that.

I've tried on six outfits in the last hour or so and none of them fit. At this point, I was ready to call it quits and not do this anymore. Would that be a bad thing? Kasey told me how strict and important the fashion world was. One issue and you were blackballed throughout the industry. Modeling wasn't a passion of mine but I didn't want to lose any opportunities before getting on. So I was sticking with it.

I had to.

My head turned to the side to see a pretty Asian looking woman approaching. She was wearing an orange puffed up strapless dress. It fit her perfectly. She stood beside me then checked herself out in the large stainless mirror. I wasn't sure what to say so I turned away and look in the mirror as well. I wasn't wearing any of the designer dresses. The coordinator was taking a long time to find an outfit so I put my clothes back on. At least they fit.

"They haven't found anything for you yet?" The woman asked.

I shook my head, "No. I'm built different so it's making things hard." I answered with some disappointment in my voice.

I had a feeling she was only asking because she wanted to share this information with the rest of the women. They'll probably talk and make fun of me for being unskilled and uneducated on the industry. I'd like to say that I didn't care about their opinions but I did. I cared a lot more than I thought I would. This was killing me on the inside.

"It's alright." She continued. "They don't make extra small clothes so I have to deal with clothes not fitting too. It's a bit annoying."

I scanned her body in the mirror. Because of the dress, it didn't seem like she was an extra small. But judging a book by its cover was always wrong. Regardless, she was sexy as fuck.

"I'm Sage, by the way," she introduced herself then turned to face me.

"Xena." I told her my name.

"Ohh, well Xena you are fine as heck!" She bluntly expressed then started laughing. I found myself laughing along with her after I got comfortable. She was nice and I loved her energy.

I already was loving her.

༄

Kasey L.

"Come in!"

The door to my office opened, making me lift my head up from my paperwork. The amount of manila folders that were on my desk was bizarre. But it was the result of taking a few days off, which is why I never did so to begin with. Sadly, what Xena said was the truth. We weren't going on another trip for some years.