One minute they were complete strangers.
The next minute they were standing at the alter, declaring themselves to one other.
They didn't know each other.
They had no connection or friendship built up beforehand.
There was nothing in common with...
Love. I used to think it was an odd concept that no one knew about. Not even the ones who claim they were madly in love with their significant other. It was a theory that I didn't believe in. I didn't think there was a thing called real love because it sounded ridiculous. I thought someone made it up so sexual relationships had some meaning behind it. You add that four letter word in the midst of being intimate and you had someone wrapped around your finger.
That was before I had a single person loving me unconditionally like how I've seen some ladies experience on my timeline. The happiness that rested on their faces with their significant other by their side was a feeling I never had in my life. And I searched for it all the time and failed to find it in anyone. So, I was negative when it came to love and anything romance related because I never received it. I had this mindset that if I couldn't experience it then no one else could. That's just what it was.
But like everything else in the world, I evolved in a way that I didn't expect. This four letter word wasn't fake after all. There was a real definition for it, though different for everyone, still a general sense of what it was and what it felt like. There were butterflies in the stomach, revival, connection, and substance. There were moments of extreme uncertainty that sparked up an intense feeling of reassurance. Heard beating faster than normal once you laid eyes on that special person. Hands getting sweaty, breaths being taken away, the craving to be with them everyday.
Love had a real importance in people lives and I learned that when I found my own physical form of love. Someone who was a walking green flag who took this feeling of commitment and adoration to its fullest potential. Someone who didn't take my hatred for love the wrong way and instead understood where it came from, assisted with my change, and continued to prove why love was desired by many. Someone who, believe it or not, turned out to be exactly what I needed in my life.
I guess Cupid didn't have it out for me after all and was simply proving a point. That I needed to take my time and understand that love wasn't an easy concept that you got right the first time around. It takes several attempts, good and bad times, until you finally get the one that knows who you are inside and out. And that love doesn't only have to come from one person.
Once you have that down there was nothing else to worry about. There was no need for negativity. There'll be no upsets, distractions, or stress. Love will provide physical, mental, emotional, and verbal comfort for yourself and others around you. You'll give out what you get. And more importantly, in order to receive love the way you want, you need to begin by loving yourself first. I struggled with that before, now not so much. No one can tell me anything about love because I felt it, I lived it, and I loved it.
There was no more fuck love.
Instead there was let love prosper. Let love shine. Most of all, let love in because everyone deserved to experience it. It might take a while, it might not come at the right time, or in the way you thought it would. Nonetheless, I learned that it was best to let love come when it does and appreciate how much it can better your life and perspective. I couldn't have asked for a better understanding than the one that's been provided to me.
I walked in loving no one.
I left out loving four.
Turns out a girl can love.
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As sad as it is to say, this is the end of If I Have To! If I Have To was just a random idea that popped up and something new that I wanted to try out regarding book tropes/themes. This arranged marriage trope was extremely fun to do and a bit challenging as it being BWWM. However, I made it work and grew in love with the story.
With that being said, we came a long way and I couldn't have done it without you all keeping me encouraged from the beginning. I appreciate every reader for coming in, enjoying the book, and riding with me on this rollercoaster of emotions. Just because this story has came to an end, doesn't mean the characters we fell in love with have. They live in all of us and even reminds us of people close.
Continue being you. Continue living your life. Love yourself and others unconditionally. And more importantly, make sure you live our dreams. I will see you all on the flip-side. Thank you again.
—Nene
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Before we part ways, if you are interested in more of my works then feel free to check out these already published stories on my account.
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If you've been here already then you know what I've been cooking up, so be on the lookout for updates of these ongoing stories. Updates may or may not be slow for specific stories.
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And lastly, I'm working on other stories that have been sitting in the drafts. These are books that's been on my mind for a very long time even before others were published. Some will be up quite soon while others will be up after other stories are completed. But there's nothing wrong with building a little bit of anticipation.
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If anyone is interested in hearing more of these upcoming stories, wanting to share book ideas, in need of advice, or just want to talk then please feel free to hit me up on any of the following accounts. I'm open to talking and receiving any feedback or ideas.
All in all, I hope everyone enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Put it in your archive, share with friends, and add to reading lists. Thank you all again.
