If I Have To

Give It Some Time

New York, New York
May 20th

Kasey L.

"New Year's! That's the last time you got a haircut?" Delmar laughed hysterically with his head tossed back and his foot kicking.

I assumed his laughter was appropriate in the sense that I haven't had a haircut since New Year Day. I wasn't the type to get my hair cut every other weekend. It wasn't needed with the way my hair was. It was already long, a haircut every two weeks wasn't needed. I can simply settle with one every couple of months. Today, I decided to break the long streak and get it cut because I was starting to look a mess.

"Are you done?" I questioned while my barber, Caesar, put the cape around me. Delmar's laughing died down and he let out a deep breath, patting his stomach.

"Y'all white boys can get away with stuff like that. Us black dudes look homeless when we don't get a cut." He said while running his hand over his hair.

"I don't think you look homeless. You look nice with or without a haircut." I complimented. It went quiet for a millisecond before Caesar and Delmar began laughing. I was more than confident they were laughing at me and not with me.

"Dawg, I'm not going to say anything. What's going on with you man? How's wifey?" He changed the subject. I was thankful so I could bypass the awkwardness seconds before. I could also use the chance to vent about recent events going on with Xena and I.

I was stuck on our argument or disagreement that we had two days ago. I listen to Xena's concerns and thoughts all the time because I have it in my mind that I'm going to assist. No matter how impossible or crazy her plans came off, and best believe a few of her plans were off the charts, I tried my best to give my assistance. I was blindsided along with her regarding Grant and his noncompliance. I always heard that he shot down ideas and didn't agree to deals that often either.

The interest that Grant had showed at that dinner seemed like he was down. Xena was thrilled about all of it. On the ride home that was all she was talking about. I was excited for it as well. So, hearing that it wasn't happening and that was causing Xena to be irate with me was disappointing. I didn't set her up. I'd never do that to anyone, especially not Xena. I wanted to explain that but her attitude made conversation minimal. All of yesterday we didn't speak. I did not want it to drag out longer than that.

"Gosh, we're currently having some problems." I finally answered Delmar. I was turned in my chair to face the opposite side of the shop as Caesar started my hair cut.

"Like every relationship. What's going on though?"

"Long story short, you know the whole homeless plan that she had? Well, it's not happening any longer." I responded. I couldn't see Delmar's reaction but I did hear what I assumed was a gasp.

"Oh for real?"

"For real." I confirmed for him. "After hearing that, she turned around and came at me. She believes that I set her up because I took her to his dinner. She met with some lady at one of the shelters in Brooklyn and I don't think it ended good. Now, she thinks that all she's good for is cooking and cleaning and lying on her back."

"Being a housewife pretty much."

"Yeah, and that's not what I want. I'd love for her to have her own thing and do whatever she wants. That's no issue to me."