"I don't care if it's too early on, but I love you Celine. I love you" he says eyes boring into mine as my heart picks a rhythm.
With each passing second, the world seem to be fading away, but not before taking a photo of this moment and etching it...
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I wake up early, the morning light filtering through my window. Another night spent tossing and turning, my mind tangled in thoughts, denying me a restful sleep. There's a persistent ache in my heart, and as I lie there staring at the ceiling, I can't help but miss Joshua - two weeks without this man and my life is sinking.
It's been fourteen hellish days since since that awful night he kissed me goodbye, writing a farewell message with his lips over mine and I understood every unspoken word. The pain remains as raw as the day he decided to give up on us, walking away and never looking back, trashing all our beautiful memories together. Tears trickle down my cheeks as memories flood my mind. I feel adrift, as if something vital is missing, a void only he can fill.
Recollections of that night when Joshua stayed over after my hospital discharge surface. His care, transforming my room into a haven, preparing dinner, ensuring I took my medications, and holding me close as sleep beckoned-those moments linger in my thoughts. Why did he have to shred everything we shared into pieces?
"Lyn, I know you're awake, get your ass out here let's eat. There's a hungry giant inside of me that needs food" Somi's voice drifts from the kitchen breaking my reverie.
I wipe away a tear and clear my throat. "Yeah, I'm up, give me a moment please. You can carry on, don't keep my baby hungry," I reply, my voice barely audible.
" You better not be crying again" she quips and I hear some noise as she works with pans.
"I'll be there in a few minutes. . . . I promise," I reply, my words lacking the energy I wish I had.
Glancing at my phone, I pray for a sign from Joshua. Yet, it's a cascade of texts from others - Chanyeol's apologies as usual. Joshua ending things with me makes me resent Chanyeol even more, a part of me blames him since that kiss. Taehyung's dinner invitation - the umpteenth one since I got back from the hospital. He'd sent a truck of flowers will I was still unconscious and made sure to always check on me even while away on overseas schedules. Finally one needed text from BangChan letting me he's returning back tomorrow. I haven't seen him since he saved me that day. Some more messages from the group checking on me, and Jeonghan's familiar morning text which has now become some sort of ritual for him - none from Joshua still, I feel a familiar pang of hurt in my heart and tears begin to sting my eyes. In the last fourteen days, I've texted him so much my fingers hurt and I'm surprised he hasn't blocked me yet- he just reads and never replies. I quickly drop the phone, mustering no strength to reply to the other messages.
"Lyn ... ." Somi calls, again.
"I'm not crying!" I wipe the tears from my eyes, "Going to the bathroom now"
I can almost sense Somi's worry escalating. She knows me too well. If I don't show up soon, she'll march in here and drag me to the kitchen herself. She's been so supportive, almost neglecting her needs. Thankfully, Mingyu made sure she pays attention to herself for her and the baby's well-being. He made it a duty to always send us dinner since she got back from his parent's house, well, the very next morning after the breakup because she got the news.
