ONE HEART 4 STRINGS || Joshua ||SVT ff ||18+

47

IT'S freezing like the North Pole here in South Korea. Even bundled up in my thick fur jacket, the cold pierces through. This year's cold seems more relentless, colder than the previous one, almost as if it's holding a grudge against me for leaving.

I sigh, lifting my head from my phone after sending numerous texts to Somi and Mingyu, urging them to pick me up. Shouldn't they be here by now? It's past 1 am, and besides a few staff members, I'm stranded in this private waiting lounge at the airport. Mingyu had pulled a few strings so I'm allowed to wait here yet it's been over forty minutes, and impatience courses through me. I should've been racing through Seoul's icy streets, heading to surprise someone. 

Someone I didn't tell I'd be coming back and who isn't aware I am here now. 

My legs are sore from sitting for hours on the plane, I need to stand up and stretch a bit. I'll just walk around the empty hall till they arrive. With a sigh, I rise from the chair, glancing towards the entrance. Then I freeze. . . .

He's here...
How is he here?
How??

My heart does a backflip and an entire zoo awakens in my stomach. I can hear the loud drumming of my heart in my chest as he pauses, locking eyes with me.  He smiles. He smiles softly at me and the cold around me instantly melts away. My eyes widen, stunned by his sudden appearance.

I'm not dreaming right?

I asked Somi and Mingyu not to mention my coming back to anyone- not even Joshua. I wanted to surprise him and those two promised they wouldn't. The plan was for them to pick me up from the airport and drive me straight to the dorm. But seeing him here, bouquet in hand, they definitely told him. And this explains why they're not here even though they keep responding to my messages, promising that they're close.

His gaze remains locked with mine as he walks toward me. Each step steals my breath, and I clutch my phone tighter. The world fades away as he strides towards me, I do not see or even remember the staff in the hall. My eyes stay on him, only him and always him.

My body develops a mind of its own and before I know it, I'm rushing into his arms, causing the bouquet to slip from his grasp. 

"Hey," He says softly and that's all it 
takes for the floodgates of my eyes to be let open. His arms go around me as I begin to sob into his chest. I don't know how I survived without this man but it was the hardest time for me.

"I'm s-so sorry," I manage to whisper between sobs, his shirt stained and soaked with my tears.

"You're back" He responds, lifting my head with both hands on my cheeks so I can look at him, "look at me Lu" He says when I turn away, refusing to face him.

"I'm sorry for leaving like that," I apologize again, still not looking at him.

I feel like the worst evil for leaving him the way I did. The flight home was an emotional blur. I'd cry till I fell asleep, wake up and then resume crying. I tried eating what was served but ended up throwing up in the toilet. The elderly woman seated beside me was so kind, not getting pissed at my frequent toilet visitations because I kept puking.

Returning home, I was sick for such a long time. I was a complete wreck without Zarin, without Somi, without mother and without him. I couldn't forgive myself knowing he'd be so hurt after reading my note knowing I left him with snow just after we got back together. But I had to, I couldn't stay back knowing my mother was lying unconscious in the hospital due to the news of Zarin's death. After all he died because of me, he's gone because he tried fighting for me.

And so I gave all that was left of me to Joshua before leaving. I made myself bare to him. I wanted to return home empty knowing I left the best of me back in Korea, in his arms and his heart. But I was never empty, I was in fact, filled with Joshua Hong. He's stuck on me like a tattoo. Even though I said goodbye, I knew it wasn't the end of us.