UNCONSCIOUS THOUGHTS

Solitude

EREN POV:

"This isn't how you handle a situation like this." Levi reminds for the millionth time this week.

It's been over two weeks since I left, I'd be lying if I said I made as much progress as I should have made. Saying there is a lot on my mind is an understatement, I can't even think straight at all.

My mother is dead. She's gone. She died in my arms.

That was my reality, one I'd accepted but hadn't faced appropriately and I'm not sure I ever would. My father murdered my mother. How many people can say that? How many people can say that their father shot their mother just for her to die in her son's arms? I'm sure there's a handful of people who can say that but even then, I feel more alone than I've ever felt before.

I throw another jab into the heavy punching bag, it's all I've managed to do aside from continuing my search for Dina and Zeke.

"If thinking of yourself won't make you understand then think of your wife. You care about her don't you?" Levi provokes and I can feel his presence a few feet away behind me so I stop punching and turn my head to him.

"My wife is protected by all my men right now—"

"That's not what I am implying here, Eren." He interrupted and as much as I wanted to turn around and ignore him, I couldn't.

"You have a choice to make, one you cannot ignore any longer than you already have. Either you can have a life with her or get revenge for your mother but you cannot have both." He reminded me but I refused.

"I can have both."

"No. You can't and you know that." He corrected and even though he was right, and I knew what all of this would mean for a future with y/n, it still irritated me to hear.

"Do you really think she plans on living like this, involved in what you do or not involved and instead waiting around as you do who knows what? Do you think that's the life anybody wants?!" He walks around to stand in front of me, separating me from the punching bag by standing in between me and the bag.

"Give up this life for another, or don't. Make a choice Eren." He says sternly and I can feel my fist instinctively clenching but I don't move, not even an inch.

"I can have both. I will have both." I claimed and he shook his head at me, sweat was trickling down my forehead and down my chest from my own irritation and the workout I just did.

He doesn't say a word and he doesn't have to, the look on his face was enough to communicate how he felt about what I chose to believe.

Y/N POV:

"What am I supposed to do with it? I'm not Eren and I have no intention of replacing him." You muttered while looking around the very cold and dark warehouse you were standing in.

"Whether you want to or not, you are Eren's replacement since we all answer to you now." Connie shrugs and you're unsure what to do with yourself in this situation.

"Well...I don't want any of this and I don't want to be connected to all these drugs anyway. Do whatever you want with it," you shrug and turn your attention over to Armin who has just entered.

Your train station idea a few weeks ago didn't work, Armin said the person who sold the tickets said they didn't recognize Grisha so since then you've just been watching things closely. Very closely.

You've observed the relationships or, lack of relationships Eren has built with his men because your top concern had to be getting rid of whoever the rat was before handing everything else. You haven't done much in attempts of locating Grisha and Reiner because you don't want the rat to know your plans and report back to them about what you want to do.