I Can't do This Anymore [Fell!Sans x Reader]

Chapter 19. ~Confession.~

Y/N POV

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5:40 PM

I silently wait for Fell to start talking. I can hear him breathing heavily and muttering different things to himself.

"...Ok." He says after what feels like forever. "Um..."

He trails off, and I sigh.

"Sweetheart, be patient with me, please." He says. "I've... Never really had the opportunity to tell someone this..." He inhales. "R-Remember when... Um... I promised ya I'd find ya when I get outta here?"

"Mhm...?"

He swallows thickly. "I, uh-" He pauses again. "...Ya remember the time we watched that movie together?" He chuckles. "A-And we-"

"Fell."

"Y-Yeah-?"

"Are you trying to avoid explaining?"

"No, I swear, it- It all... Adds up to when I'm gonna say." He sighs. "I'm just stallin' for time 'cause I dunno what the fuck I'm doin'." He inhales. "S-Speakin' of that promise I made ya... Y-You've... K-Kept yer promise, right?"

"...What promise?"

"The one where ya promised not to hurt yerself or try to kill yerself."

I fall silent as my gaze drifts to my arm. I swallow thickly and hide in my blankets, despite the fact that he can't see me.

"...Sweetheart?"

I start to cry quietly. "...I'm sorry..."

"......Y/N, what did you do?" His voice lowers.

"I t-tried-" My throat starts to close up. "T-To- To d-drown myself i-in the l-l-lake- A-And then I c-cut myself, a-and-" I let out a sob. "I'm s-so sorry..."

"...Why?"

I don't respond. I can't. I can't tell him I love him, or that I have a crush on him, or whatever I'm feeling. I can't tell him.

"...Oh." He breathes. "Oh. Oh, shit... Shit this is all my fault." His breathing gets shaky. I hear a tiny meow. "B-Butter, not now, k-? Um- Y/N- A-Are- Are you-"

"I'm here." I whisper.

"Ok good." He growls. "Butter, s-stop, I'm-" He sighs. "There. Ok. Um. So... This is... All my fault, isn't it?"

"N-No, it's my fault... I s-shouldn't have-" I break off.

"Shouldn't have what?"

"N-N-Never m-mind..."

He sighs. "Y/N."

"W-What-?"

"I love you."

I blinks. "Wh... W-What...?"

"I love ya, sweetheart." He says quietly and softly. "I have for quite a while now. I didn't really know how to tell ya, though, 'cause you kept sayin' ya didn't love me, so... I n-never told ya, and-" He sniffles. "I c-could've lost ya without sayin' it, so-" He starts to cry, too. "I'm sorry..."

He takes a couple deep breaths, and before I can speak, he goes on.

"A-And I could be wrong, but... I think y-you love me, too." He goes silent, waiting for a reply.

I inhale deeply, trying to calm down. I look at my arm and nearly start sobbing again, but I don't. I think about Riley, and how much she hates Fell, and how horrible online relationships are, and how a relationship between us probably won't work.