Always and Forever My love

The Feeling Of Missing

Lucille's POV

I was really having a wonderful weekend. On Saturday evening, Ashley took me to the drive-in to watch a movie, which I really enjoyed. Thereafter, we went home for the night, and he made love to me with so much passion, I couldn't stop the tears that were rolling down my eyes. He treated me so tender and with so much feeling, like I was the most precious person to him. When he saw the tears in my eyes, he stopped and asked me if he had done something wrong, to which I replied NO. I told him that I was just emotional, that was all. He then kissed my eyes and said he was sorry. Later, after we took a bath, we went to bed. He held me tight and we slept.

When we awoke in the morning, we freshened up, had our breakfast and then, I told Ashley, I had to leave to go home to do some stuff. At first, he didn't agree, but after much persuasion, he finally agreed. So I helped him tidy up, kissed him lots of times and then left. That afternoon, he called me, we spoke for a while, he told me, his mum asked him where all the food I had prepared yesterday, came from, so he told her, that his girlfriend made it, to which she looked impressed and asked him to bring his girlfriend home to meet her. I told him, I would definitely come soon. We discussed our project, that was due at the end of the week and needed to be complete soon. We told each other how much we were missing each other and that our weekend together was amazing, we really enjoyed ourselves. He thereafter told me, he was going to go out with his friends later and I told him to be safe. We then said our good byes and he said he loved me, which I really feel I could have misheard.

That night, I went to bed, thinking of him and our time together, I wondered if he really told me, he loved me, because I already love him. Sleep soon came and the next morning, I woke up early and helped my mum to prepare breakfast. I found my mum looking at me, without saying anything. So I asked her what was wrong, to which she asked me, if I have a boyfriend. I couldn't lie to my mother and told her about Ashley. She then asked me if we are using protection, to which I replied yes. Feeling a bit shy to be having this conversation with my mum, I told her, that I needed to go and get ready for school, she then told me that she trusts me and my decisions and wishes me only the best in my relationship with Ashley, feeling emotional, I turned to her and gave her a big hug, saying thank you mummy and I love you. She told me that she knows I love Ashley, but I must not forget that, I loved her first, to which I said I promise, I will never forget that. Hugging her again, I turned and left to go get ready.

At 7am, I reached school and saw Ashley and his friends chatting to Cindy, I didn't bother much about it and went straight to class. Oran saw me and came by me, he asked if he could sit next to me, to which I replied Yes. A few minutes later, Ashley walked into class with his friends, but I wasn't aware because of my conversation with Oran. Oran was asking me about my relationship with Ashley, to which I told him, we were going out. He then told me to be careful of Ashley because he has a reputation of being a player and using girls at school. Right at that moment, Ashley walked in and saw Oran speaking to me. He came up to me and asked me if this is what I get up to while he isn't around. Not wanting to get into an argument with Ashley, I said nothing and opened my books, concentrating on my first period. The teacher came in soon after and our lesson began. As soon as our first period finished, we had to go to our next class. In the corridor, Ashley rushed infront of me and went to our next class, I walked slowly with my friends and went to the class soon after. As I entered the classroom, I saw Ashley sending daggers mine and Oran's way, like I did something wrong, which I know I didn't, so I proceeded to my desk and sat down. Oran came and sat next me, I really dont know why. That just made Ashley curse all the more.

I knew I was getting myself into more trouble, but I was still convinced in my mind, that I was doing nothing wrong. During our lunchbreak, Ashley didn't come by me, I looked around for him but couldn't find him anywhere, so I stayed with my friends and after lunch, went for my next lesson, where I saw Ashley was already in class, sitting at his desk. I refused to look at him, because of his attitude, I was mad as well and I won't budge. Oran was my Debs Ball partner and my friend, so why am I not allowed to speak to him, when I came to school in the morning, I had seen him standing with his friends, chatting away with Cindy, I didn't cause a scene with him for that, so why can't he understand me as well.

After school, Ashley didn't wait for me, so I walked home by myself, he didn't even come to complete our project. So I attempted to do as much as I could by myself and went to early to bed, without having supper. That's when the tears came, I had to use my pillow to hold the sounds coming out my mouth. My mum came home, but I pretended I was already asleep, she switched off my light and closed my door, that's when I started crying again, hours later, I managed to finally fall asleep.
The next morning, I woke up with a terrible headache and my face looked like a mess, because of crying. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to school, not knowing that Oran also didn't go. The entire day, i worked on my project and watching heartbreak movies. In the evening, I didn't eat supper once again and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up early and went to school, my face was still a mess, but looked much better, than it did, the previous day. Going to class, I saw Ashley sitting at his desk, chatting to Selan, I really missed him being with me, before my tears could come out, I sat at my desk. That was when I heard Ashley ask me loud enough for everyone to hear, if I enjoyed my time with Oran yesterday, because we both stayed away to be together. Ashley asked me in front of everyone, if Oran f..ked me properly. That was beyond anything now, his words hurt me so much and I could no longer hold back my tears, the tears were slipping down my face and my nose was dripping, excusing myself, I went to the change room and washed my face, then returned back to class. I sat quitely while some of the other students were looking at me. That afternoon, I went home quickly, Ashley still didn't come and we had 2 days left before it was due.
So I completed it by myself.