Always and Forever My love

If Only Wishes Came True

*Ashley*
When I found out my wife was pregnant, I was so happy. But when she told me that the baby wasn't mine, I felt betrayed by her because she always told me that I was the only man she slept with. To me now, I am convinced that all woman are liars and I will never trust anyone again. My mind was made up that after Cindy gives birth and I prove that her baby is mine, then I will marry her. I will give her baby my name, but I would never be able to love Cindy. I will do my best for her and my child, but my heart will never belong to her. Lucille has my heart and soul with her already, even though she betrayed me. I am going to get a divorce soon, so she can marry her baby's father, but each time I want to go to file for it, something holds me back.

Soon, I will really have to do it. I guess I would have to face reality then. I have not seen Lucille for about 4 months now and from what the doctor told us, when she found out she was pregnant, she must be about 6 months now.

Every night my only comfort was my liquor. For weeks, I did not sleep at home. I always fall asleep at work. I just go home to take a bath and come back to work. Work is the only thing that keeps my mind occupied. My employees are absolutely scared of me nowadays and always make sure they complete the work properly because they know I will not give them second chances.

Tonight I am feeling so exhausted and all I want is to go home to sleep in my bed properly. Going home, I saw all the lights were off, so that meant Lucille wasn't home yet. Also, this would be the best opportunity for me to push the divorce papers under her door, for her to sign. Driving inside the garage, I parked my car, jumped out, then went straight to the kitchen to find something to eat, before I went to bed. Going into the kitchen, I heard someone busy looking for something in the fridge. Thinking it could be an intruder, I tiptoed further in, when, all of a sudden, I almost yelled when I saw a very pregnant Lucille come out of the freezer crying. Surprised, I asked her what she was doing there. She said she was looking for ice-cream. Wanting to laugh at her crying for ice-cream but holding it in, I said it's finished and why doesn't she go to get some. She pointed to her feet and told me her shoes didn't fit her, and she couldn't fit in her car because her stomach was too big. Wanting to laugh even more at how childish she looks, I told her, it's fine, I will take her to get some instead. I asked her what ice-cream she felt like, and she said she wanted a Bar-One ice-cream. Telling her to meet me in my van in 15 minutes, then I would take her, she started crying even more, telling me her babies wanted ice-cream now. Not liking the feeling of seeing her, crying the way she was, I told her, OK fine, let's go now.

We drove all over, looking for Bar-One ice-cream, but there was nothing around. Wanting to give up, I told her there wasn't anything anywhere, but she said I should drive her to Petermaritburg, because there was a shop there where she could buy it. Although it was so late, I honestly couldn't deny her the one thing she asked me for, so I drove her. Finally, finding it, I bought a big tub of it for her, and she sat down to eat it. Watching the way she sucked her spoon and moaned, eating the ice-cream was making me hard. I was thinking about the way she used to go down for me and the way she used to moan for me. Apologizing, as she looked at me with her beautiful eyes, I couldn't help thinking about how I fell in love with her. Clearing my thoughts, I thought back to finding out about her pregnancy and when she told me that the baby she was carrying wasn't mine, the hurt and pain I felt, I stopped looking at her and asked her if she was done, to which she replied "Almost", turning away from her, I remembered she told me that her babies wanted ice-cream, so I asked her why did she say babies earlier on. She told me that she was having twins and the hurt came back again. I thought about her twin's father, how lucky he was to have her as the mother of his children. At that moment, I wished her babies were mine. Lost in my thoughts, I felt her touch my arm, giving me goosebumps. As she said, she was done. Getting up, we walked out of the store and got into my van, as I jumped into my side and started the engine. I could see she was making herself comfortable before I heard her say Thank you for taking me for the ice-cream, before she closed her eyes and went to sleep. Stopping my van a short distance after, I pulled my blanket from the backseat and covered her to keep her warm, smiling with sadness in my heart at our situation, because of how much I wish those babies were mine.

When we arrived home, I tried waking her up, but she was so deep in her sleep that she didn't. Making up my mind, I carefully carried her out of my van and took her straight to bed. Kissing her forehead, I tried to carefully wake up, but she held onto my hand, forcing me to stay next to her. The entire night, I stayed up watching her, looking at how beautiful she looked being pregnant. In the morning when she turned, I managed to slip away. Going into the bath, I took a shower, then dressed and left afterward.