Always and Forever My love

My Thoughts And Memories

*Lucille*

Waking up the next morning, I remembered Ashley taking me for ice-cream so far away, and he didn't even complain. Also, my entire room smelled of him. Maybe it's from him bringing me in last night. I was grateful that he did do something for me at least. It's a memory I can keep for when I soon leave him to go back to the United States to do my practicals.

Getting out of bed, I thought about him not being home the entire day, so that was my chance to go for a swim. I changed into my costume and went downstairs, to go into the pool outside, just to get a bit of exercise. The sun was bright, and the water looked marvelous. Diving into the pool, I swam for a while before coming out and lying in the sun, enjoying the heat on my skin. Soon the sun was getting a little too high, and I needed to cool off, so I went back in. Coming up to the surface, I sat on the first step of the pool as I bent my head backwards, lost in thought about my honeymoon. Thinking about how lovely and romantic it was, how many times, Ashley and I did it. How, after the first night there, I had gotten up and gone for a swim in a small pond on the beach, he had come into the water by me, taking me from the back. After we had done it in the water, he placed me on a rock, and we did it there too. I remember how he punished me, after he went for his meeting and came back and saw me topless. Smiling to myself, I remember how livid he was with me for doing that. He said he was going to punish me, but to me, it wasn't a punishment, because I loved each second of it. Soon the tears were rolling down my eyes, thinking about how much love he showed me. One thing I am absolutely certain about is that Ashley Richard really did love me, like I loved him. The only difference was that my love for him made me stay loyal to him. I could not even imagine another man touching me. To me, it was him and only him. I felt if I couldn't have him then I didn't want anyone else, whereas he chose to drink his life away and then sleep around, which irritates me. Also, I think about how he always told me he would never sleep with Cindy, but he did. I just can't get over that, and I will never ever. Now that I was pregnant, I had 3 more months to go before I would have to give birth to my little girl and boy. I was super excited. I would be in the United States by then, and I had already booked my hospital there. I would have to endure my 3 months doing my practicals before it was time and I planned on completing my 3 months before I qualified as a journalist and gave birth. I was officially 5 months, 3 weeks at the moment. Next week, I will be flying to go start my practicals. I got my go ahead from my doctor, and he told me as long as I didn't stress, I would be fine to go. About a week before I am due to give birth, Sarah will be coming over to stay with me. I haven't bought any clothes as yet. She said she would buy everything, but I planned on getting a few rompers as soon as I reached there, just in case, things happened faster than expected. Through my entire pregnancy, I learned that I really had to rely on myself and make myself strong, having to rely on others, just showed people that I am weak. Sarah was always there for me, and she was my best friend, but she also had her own husband to care for. What if, at the last moment, he stopped her from coming to me? I had a hotel room booked for me by the company, I would be doing my practicals at, but I needed to find my own place soon as well. I made up my mind that I wouldn't be asking Ashley for any pay back for the house. It could be my gift to his baby with Cindy. I would just work and buy myself a new place in America for my twins. I also had no intention of asking Ashley for a cent for the twins. Well, I couldn't, since he doesn't even know that they are his. Maybe one day when they are grown up, then I will send them to meet their dad, but for now, I have to keep them with me, because Cindy was a cruel woman who would hurt them and also Ashley needed to be there for his baby with Cindy as well. Deciding to go for my last swim today, I went back into the pool to swim before coming out. When I came out, I took my towel and wrapped it around me, then went inside to go shower, so I could eat and go for a walk in the park. Walking in the park has become an everyday thing for me now, and it helps relax my mind before I go home to sleep. Walking up the stairs, I screamed out as I bumped into Ashley standing at the top of the stairs. Seeing him looking at me, the hunger in his eyes. I said "Hi" and slipped past him to my room. I then went into the shower, washed up and went downstairs to make something to eat before going out. Going downstairs, I saw Ashley sitting in the kitchen, eating a sandwich. Seeing me, he said he made sandwiches for me as well. Going to the fridge, I grabbed the juice along with 2 glasses and brought it to the table, as I sat down. Telling Ashley thanks and pouring some juice for both of us, I sat down, eating my sandwich.

Asking Ashley "how come he was home early today?" He said he needed to sort out some documents for some clients, to which I replied OK. Then he asked me, "How come I was home today". I told him that I didn't have class today because next week, I am leaving to go do my practicals in America, where I would be making my permanent residence soon afterward. Nodding his head, he said, since I am leaving next week, let's just be friends for now until I leave, which I agreed to. The best I could do was to leave on good terms with him. We both owed each other that much for the sake of our love.