Always and Forever My love

Our Precious Time Together Before We Part Ways

*Lucille*
Last night was absolutely beautiful, the amount of love and care Ashley showed me was incredible. I know I shouldn't allow all this to happen between Ashley and I, but I can't help it. I felt greedy for his love and affection for now. This morning, I was awake when Ashley woke up because of my babies kicking and moving around so much. I pretended to be asleep as he watched my tummy moving. For quite a while, he stayed in bed next to me, watching my stomach, then he watched me sleeping, kissing my forehead. Not being able to pretend any longer because of my bladder, I acted like I just woke up, looking at Ashley and smiling, before saying "Good morning". I was about to get out of bed to run to the toilet, when he leaned forward and kissed me. I really wanted to let this moment last forever, but I just couldn't because my babies were jumping on my tummy. Excusing myself, I ran to the loo, washed up and got back on the bed next to Ashley. Holding out his arm, I went and snuggled against his chest as he held me tighter. We were in bed for a while, not saying anything to each other, lost in our own thoughts. I was thinking about how ridiculous my life was. I was pregnant with Ashley's babies, but I couldn't even tell him, because of Cindy's baby. I wanted to be a nasty person so much, by not having to sacrifice my happiness, but I just couldn't. That baby needed Ashley far more than anything or anyone, because Cindy would never be able to give that baby the love he or she needed.

A while back, when my in-laws were coming over after I had found out about Cindy's pregnancy, I went to the shop to buy some stuff to prepare for them. Cindy was also shopping there. She saw me and came up to me, asking me when I was going to divorce Ashley because he needed to marry her soon. If he didn't marry her and if he didn't leave me, she was going to cause harm to her baby. So I asked her, how could a mother speak that way about her child. She looked at me and said she can't be bothered about her baby, all she wants is Ashley. Going home that evening, I felt very troubled about the entire situation with Ashley's baby. That is why when I found out about my pregnancy, I told Ashley my baby wasn't his. Cindy's baby needed Ashley and his family far more than my twins did, because I would be able to give my babies all the love they needed, plus Sarah was there to give them a lot of love as well. As much as I loved Ashley, I couldn't put my needs first. I had to get away from him, so he could concentrate on his new baby coming with Cindy.

After a while, Ashley said he had to get up to go and get ready to go to work. He said he had an important meeting and as soon as it was over, he would come back to spend time with me. Watching him get up, I asked if it would be possible for me to go with him. While he was at his meeting, I could wait in his office for him until he was done, because I really didn't want to be alone at home. Smiling and agreeing to let me come, we both got ready and left for his office. When we arrived there, he left me in his office with some food and promised to be back soon, kissing me on my head, as he left. Pulling his chair to sit down, I looked at all his pictures of us on his desk, thinking pretty soon he would have to get rid of everything and replace it all with his soon-to-be family's photos.

After some time, Ashley walked into his office with his secretary, who was a petite lady in her late fifty's, with gray hair at the top of her head, a long nose, small eyes and a mouth that always smiled, showing that she has experienced a lot in life and is making the most of life now. Busy in a deep conversation with Ashley, she then turned to my side, saying, Good day Mrs Richard. Smiling at her, I answered her greeting and went to give her a hug before saying, for the last time Julia, please call me Lucille, you are good enough to be my mum. She asked me about my pregnancy and how it was coming along. Telling her everything was fine, we both heard my dear husband clearing his throat, before dismissing Julia. Going out, she turned and winked at me, before the door closed behind her. Taking my hand in his, Ashley and I left his office to go home.

For the next 2 days, Ashley and I spent as much time together as we could. He said we are creating memories for when we are no longer together. On the final day before I was due to leave, we stayed in bed holding each other. He then said he needed to ask me something, giving him the go ahead. He then asked me if I was going to be staying with my twin's father in America, so I told him "Yes, I am". Looking at me for a moment, he smiled and said that he wished me all luck with everything. I must never forget how much he loves me and always will, but it seemed like destiny had different plans for us. With tears running down my face, I said, I love you too, Ashley, and always will as well. That night we both slept with heavy hearts and woke up early the next morning for me to leave. Feeling so heart sore, I asked Ashley to say goodbye to me here at home and not come to the airport with me.

As we parted, I cried for my love, for my twin's daddy, who didn't even know they were his. I cried because I had lost this battle. I felt all alone, as I boarded my plane and went to start a new life away from Ashley, the king of my heart.