Always and Forever My love

My Failing Marriage

Ashley's POV

Seeing Cindy coming to my house yesterday and hearing what she had to say, turned out to be the worst day of my life. Lucille didn't even give me a chance to explain to her anything. She just went into our bedroom and locked the door, locking me out. The entire night, I stayed up outside her door waiting for her to open up, so we could talk. But she was simply not doing so.

I felt like I lost a piece of myself when I saw her walking away after hearing what Cindy had to say. I wanted to run after her, but Cindy held me back asking me what I was going to do, now that she was pregnant with my baby. Not having any answers to her question, I just told her that I would come up with a plan, but I could never be with her. Hearing me say that, she told me that then she would not let me see my child. I felt like telling her. I wanted it like that, but I couldn't do that to my unborn child. At the end of it all, I was the one who did the wrong and I could not let an innocent life be destroyed. I had to take responsibility for what I did, even though I don't remember anything of what happened between Cindy and me.

As much as I loved my queen, I could not put my happiness above my soon-to-be child's. I had to do things right and be responsible. I had told Cindy to give me a little time to think things through, then I would speak to her. I could not even ask Cindy if she was really pregnant because it was so obvious, looking at her stomach. After Cindy had left, I went up to my room, but the door was locked. I asked Lucille to open it up for me, but she didn't. No matter how much I pleaded with her, she still didn't. I had even resorted to messaging her but she neither replied nor showed any response to me. When I asked for my clothes, I heard her shuffling around and all I knew was it was then thrown out of the room door and the door was locked straight after. This morning after showering and dressing up, I went to her door to let her know that I was leaving, but still she didn't even respond to me. I got into my car and headed to work, in an absolutely pissed mood. Cindy was threatening me on one end and Lucille was not even giving me a chance to explain anything.

Entering work, a lot of my employees greeted me, but I just ignored them and went straight to my office to make a call. After I was done, I buzzed my secretary in to ask her to send my first client in. I tried to get through the meeting and ended up not getting the deal processed in the end. Straight after, I called Selan to ask him to meet me after work for a drink, which he agreed to. The entire day was a mess and was not easy at all. It was my clients who didn't know what they wanted or my employees who couldn't complete their tasks on time. My entire day was spent screaming at everyone and by late afternoon, everyone did their best to avoid me. Two employees were also fired by me for being disrespectful to their superiors.

That afternoon, when I left work, I went straight to mine and Selan's favorite hangout and waited for Selan to arrive. As soon as I saw him, I told him everything as I drank my sorrows away. He told me that I f.cked up and needed to sort things out fast because it wasn't just my life being turned upside down but two other women's lives as well. With a heavy heart, I went home.

For weeks now, I haven't seen Lucille, not even once, and I knew in a months' time, she needed to go back to start her practicals at university. She had enrolled at a nearby university, just so she didn't have to leave me alone again. I am sure she must regret it now. Seeing her not coming out of the room for so long, I was getting worried about her, so I had called up Sarah asking her to come in to check up on Lucille while I went to work, which she did and later told Selan to tell me that Lucille was not in a good space right now, so I really needed to keep my distance from her. Agreeing for the sake of my wife, I haven't gone to her room for the past couple of weeks to bother her. I moved into the room directly next to hers. At night, I always had trouble sleeping and would always have to drink to finally fall asleep.

It was late one Friday night, when I received a message from my parents letting me know that they would be coming over for the weekend to spend time with us. Not having any other choice, I went to Lucille's door and told her my parents were coming over for the weekend, and they had no idea about this entire situation. Please can she just help me out this one time, until I find the right time to tell them about what's going on. That was when she opened the door and said "OK" to me. I somehow knew that for my parents she was willing to go to any lengths to always keep them happy because that's how close she was to them.

That same evening when I came home from work, I saw her in the kitchen preparing dinner for us as my parents sat nearby chatting to her. As I walked in, I knew she was in the kitchen cooking because of the aroma that filled the house. Watching her laughing and talking to my parents filled my heart with so much joy, but the minute she saw me, her smile faded. Going up to her, I kissed her and said "Good evening my love", showing my parents that we were happy. Thereafter, I greeted my parents and told everyone, I was going to shower and would be right back very soon. When I went into the guest bedroom, I saw my parents' luggage there and as I opened the wardrobe, I saw none of my clothes were there. Going into the master bedroom wardrobe, all my clothes were neatly put in, showing no sign of my clothes ever being taken out. As I was going to enter the bathroom, I saw a photo tucked under the pillow. I picked it up, I saw it was our Debs Ball picture, the one she stole from me ages ago and always said she lost it, when I asked. Tucking it back under her pillow, I went into the bath and showered. Dressing up straight after and going down, I saw Lucille had already served dinner to my parents and was waiting to dish it up for me. After dishing up for me, she then sat down with everyone, and picked at her food. Seeing this my mum asked her if she is not hungry. She replied "No, she wasn't feeling well that's why".Hearing that my mum scolded me about not taking enough care of my wife. Lucille said she only started feeling like this from today, and I didn't know because she didn't get a chance to tell me yet. When everyone was done, Lucille and I started clearing the table and I told her thank you for going along and not letting my parents know about our situation.