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Bottom Dream! If you don't like it don't read :)
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Ft. Insecure Dream (cause bros been through everything in this book- guy can't catch a break)
TW/ CW: Scars, body dysmorphia, self belittling
Body dysmorphia: spend a lot of time comparing your looks with other people's. look at yourself in mirrors a lot or avoid mirrors altogether. go to a lot of effort to conceal flaws – for example, by spending a long time combing your hair, applying make-up or choosing clothes.
//- Third Person -\\
Clay. Or Dream.
He's someone who has been struggling with body dysmorphia for years now. He often spends hours upon hours of the night staring at his full body mirror in his wardrobe, silently nit picking and judging everything about his body. And god does he mean everything. In Dreams eyes, he was disgusting. He was disgusting and ugly and a complete waste of a body.
Dream hated: The way his hair changed colour in the lighting, and the way he couldn't control it. He hated the fact that he had to grow a bread/ stubble to hide his jawline, which was a feature he used to find funny or not that bad. He hated his eyes, and the colour of them. The shape of them. They way they made him look bug eyed when he put his much dreaded glasses on. Which is why he didn't wear his glasses. He hated how broad his shoulders were. He hated the box like figure of his stomach (which most people would die for, as he's been told). But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but hate and nit pick at every single thing he had on his body. What he hated the most? Not his facial features. Nope.
He hated the scars that littered his body the most. He had many scars he hated, one's ranging from his shoulders to his ankles. but his least favourite out of all of them was the one that basically wrapped around his waistline. It's not even like the scar was planning on fading any time soon either, as it was still a deep purple colour. He hated that the most, but posted about it on his YouTube. He wanted to inspire people, even though he didn't inspire himself.
George (Dreams boyfriend and best friend) on the other hand? Loved everything about Dream. EVERYTHING. He likes how Dreams hair changes in the lighting, he believes it adds personality. He loved the constant struggle to control the hair, or how the hair controlled Dream. He loved the younger jawline, which wasn't as bad as what everyone was saying it was. Dream had made the camera that exact angle to be funny, but George things it is getting to him. He loved the younger emerald green eyes, even if he couldn't see them that well (you know- cause of the colourblind). He loved Dreams glasses, but hated that he didn't wear them more often, if ever. He loved the Floridians broad shoulders and stomach. He especially loved the scars that he could see littered around his boyfriends body. His favourite of all of the many, was (not that surprisingly) the one that Dream hated the most. He loved the deep purple colour, and the story behind it. George said it brought character to Dream, which only made his life more interesting and sweet.
He could go on for hours about how much he loved all of Dreams features, and would if he could. But he had been realising that Dream was becoming more distant to the olders love. He knew that Dream loved him, but wasn't sure why he was distancing himself.
He just had to figure out why.
//- Dream -\\
"Hey.. Dream?"
Instantly I could hear the worry laced in George's voice, as he stood at my bedroom door. I hummed and invited him in. The London boy walked over to me and sat next to me on my bed, taking my hand in his own. Which made me flinch a little.
"Yeah...? What's up?"
"I've.. I've noticed that you've become really distant from me. You don't like me hugging you or kissing you as much anymore, if even Ever. Which is fine if your not comfortable, but I just wanted to ask.."
Damn it he realised. I thought George sucked at picking up on stuff like that. Apparently not. I had to tell him, I was making him feel bad for god sake. I took a feel breath and began to speak in a soft and hushed voice.
"I just.. don't feel good in my body.. I feel like you'd be better if you didn't have to like- touch me.. not In a weird way just in like a lovey dovey way."
"Oh hon.. why don't you feel good? Your so pretty!"
"Yeah but I don't feel pretty! I feel gross! I feel like you deserve bette than me! But I don't- I don't wanna lose you.."
I spoke, hearing my voice crack as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I felt George's arms wrap around my body and pull me close to his own, basically making me sit on his lap. I could feel his rubbing my back softly and slowly, as he began to speak in a quiet tone.
"Honey.. I fell in love with you.. for you! Not just for your body! Or your looks. I fell in love with you because of how you are as a person, and because of your personality. Even though you are basically the only way I can describe beauty."
I hummed, nuzzling my face into George's chest as he carried on, pressing his lips against my hair before hes began to speak again.
"Remember when I didn't know what you looked like? And then a couple of months before you showed me your face, we got together?-"
George paused as I hummed, trying to figure out what he was segwaying Into. But with my tired and depressed mind state, it took me a bit longer than usual.
"-That shows I didn't fall in love with you for your body. I fell in love with you for your personality."
"Really?"
"Of course I did! Would I like for you to realise how pretty you are? Yes. Does that mean I don't love your personality? Nope."
I smiled, wrapping my own arms around George's back as we sat there for a minute or two, George rocking his body back and forth whilst rubbing my back to calm me down. We decided to just lay down in my bed, as we were both tired anyway. We lay in my bed and continued to cuddle.
"I love you so much.. my beautiful boy.."
//- End -\\
1170 Words
Was the end rushed? Eh- it's fine I'm too tired to care. Btw! On my profile (If you haven't seen it) is a small update on how my oneshot books will be updated! You don't have to interact with it but I would appreciate if you looked! Thanks