The Love Diary

Saturday 24th February

I woke up wrapped tightly against James’ chest. I tilted my head up to look at him and he was smiling down at me.

“Morning.” He whispered against my head as he kissed me.

“Morning.” I pushed myself up so we could kiss properly. James wrapped his arms around my middle and pulled me on top of him. 

I laughed and sat up, straddling him with the duvet tangled around us.

“You look magnificent.” He said as he laid there looking up at me. I went to cover myself with my duvet but he grabbed my arm to stop me. We locked eyes and just looked at eachother. My heart was beating in my throat. 

He took hold of my other hand and pulled me down to him. He kissed me gently for a moment and then the kiss deepened and he crushed me to him.

We laid together breathing heavily, the duvet on the floor. 

“Breakfast?” James said. I nodded and he got off the bed, grabbing his pants from the floor. I sat up onto my elbows and watched him.

He tossed his shirt in my direction and I slipped it on and followed him downstairs.

The boys were sitting at the backdoor looking out when we came down and James opened it for them as he walked past. They dashed outside and I stood at the door watching them chase each other around and sniffing each other's pee patch.

When I turned to the kitchen James had already started mixing together the ingredients for pancakes.

I walked in and leant against the counter, watching him. He put one into the pan and then turned to me a moment later.

“Ready for the flip?” He turned to me with the frying pan and smiled. He shimmied the pancake around in the pan a few times and then flicked. And the pancake landed on the floor.

I burst out laughing and doubled over putting my hands on my knees. Chester came dashing in and James scooped the pancake pile up quickly.

“I'll try again.” James poured another pancake into the pan and waited for it to be ready to be flipped.

He shimmied the pancake. He bent his knees. He flicked his wrist. The pancake landed.

“Woohoo!” I cheered and clapped my hands. He placed the pan back onto the oven and turned back to me and took a bow.

“The first one is always the practice.” He said and slipped the successfully flipped pancake onto a plate and passed it to me.

He flipped a few more and we took the pancakes into the living room, collapsing on the sofa together and flicking on the TV. 

I put our plates onto the coffee table, grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and draped it over us as I snuggled into James' side.

I stood up and stretched.

“We should probably take the boys out now. Get up and move, you know.” I said looking down at James.

“Yeah you're right.” He looked at me for a moment and then grabbed the blanket and pulled it up over his head.

“Oh no. Where's James gone.” I said in an exaggerated voice. Then I stood for a moment. And hear and over emphasised

“Hehe hehe!” I grabbed the blanket to putt it off him and he reached out and pulled me from the middle back down towards him on the sofa.

I went down laughing and I landed across his lap and he started to tickle me. I started laugh screaming and kicking my legs and I managed to roll off the sofa to the floor and then quickly crawled away.

We look at each other, both panting and laughing still. 

“Ok. Let's go.” James stood up and helped me off the floor and we headed upstairs to get changed.

We decided to actually go somewhere and ended up taking the boys to walk along the river near Manningtree. 

The weather is mild today and the sun is trying to make an appearance through the white clouds floating through the sky.

As I stepped out of the car the traditional smell of the seaside hit me and I was instantly craving an ice cream. We walked the boys along the river path that ran away from the town and wandered along hand in hand, the dogs dashing left and right trying to sniff all the new smells assaulting them.

I don't know how long we had been walking but when I had to stop to pick up Chester's poo I looked back the way we had come and realised we had gone a good distance.

“James should we head back this way? It's almost lunch time right?” As I said this I looked at my watch. It was indeed past lunch time.

We headed back and walked towards the town. We found a little cafe that we could take the boys into and we tucked them next to us against the wall and we ordered two baguettes and some chips to share. I did also manage to order a sausage each for the boys. The young girl I asked was very confused why I just wanted two sausages and not any bread. But we figured it out.

When we left the cafe I looked down the main street and gasped. 

“Are you ok?” James asked, looking me up and down.

“Sorry, yes. There's an ice cream stand.” James turned to look in the direction I was pointing and there was a small shop with a open window counter that had a sign outside, advertising ice cream and fresh hot doughnuts.

We headed in that direction and we both got an ice cream and some doughnuts. 

We walked back towards the car licking our ice creams and we sat in the front and ate the doughnuts before we headed back home.

And yes, the boys did get a little bite of doughnut each. I wiped some of the sugar off and covered myself.

We took the boys home and then headed back to James’ to pack all the final bits and pieces. 

He opened the door and the hallway was filled floor to ceiling with boxes. And it felt cold. And empty. 

“So what time is the van coming tomorrow?” I asked as I placed the last few bits of crockery into a box.

“About 11 I think.” He said from the other side of the room where he was taping up another box. When I closed the box I was filling, James walked over with the tape.

“I think that's everything.” He said as he ripped the tape, sealing the box.

I looked around the kitchen. There are boxes all along one set of cupboards and the rest is bare.

“It looks so sad like this”. I said as I leaned against the counter and watched James stack the box on top of another already lined up.

He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me.

We headed back to mine, ordered pizzas watching shit TV and went to bed at 8pm.

I mean not to sleep but you know.

Today was full of joy, but the sadness has lurked behind every moment.