The Love Diary

Saturday 16th March

I woke up this morning and I was straight away a ball of nerves for this evening. My tummy felt horrible and I had too much energy.

I opened YouTube and opened a fitsugar dance video I absolutely love doing and spent the first half an hour of my dancing and jumping around.

When I finished my workout I distracted myself with the music turned up loud and made myself breakfast. I tidied up, dancing around to the music and singing the lyrics loud trying to keep focused on them.

I then still in my workout gear I decided I should get out with the boys now and just shower later when I'm back ready for tonight.

Before consideration of seeing Christian tonight could overtake my thoughts I called the boys to get ready and they came dashing towards me at the front door.

I drove us to Rendlesham forest and I hung the boys' leads around my neck as we headed up the track to take us into the woodland.

I had the Toni and Ryan podcast playing over my headphones and watched as the boys crossed paths dashing back and forth across the path.

I could smell the pine trees on the breeze as I approached the woods and turned my face into the breeze as it blew. It was gentle and cool and my ponytail flicked as it flew past me.

I adjusted my coat so my neck wasn't that exposed so that I could feel the breeze being let into my coat.

I walked and walked, putting on the Growing Paynes podcast when Toni and Ryan ended and the boys ran around happily gaining speed around the trees.

We returned to the car and I clocked the time. We had been out for nearly three hours.

I had taken a drink and apple with me and I suppose having eaten the apple and drunk my two litre bottle I had been distracted from lunchtime passing me by.

We got home and the joys collapsed onto the sofa and it wasn't long before I could hear Duke snoring. Chester watched me closely as Ioved around the kitchen. 

I made myself a wrap and settled onto the sofa in the only spot that remained and turned on the TV. I had been planning on starting The Last of Us which I had been recommended a hundred times since it finished and so I flicked on the first episode.

And I was consumed for too long yet again. Although I was thankful. 

When I realised the time I decided it was time to luxuriate and have a bath. I took my tablet into the bathroom and put on the next episode of The Last of Us and settled into the bath with a purple lush bath bomb making the bath water shimmer.

I laid there until the water started to cool and I topped up the heat just enough so I could wash in the warmth and I used the shower head to wash my hair as the water drained around me.

I wrapped myself in my robe and sat on the edge of the bed to moisturise, lifting a leg up and then the other.

I walked to my wardrobe and contemplated my outfit before I settled on my strappy little black dress that flowed and swayed around my knees as I moved. I grabbed out my heel and a bag and put them on the bed next to the dress before I sat at my dressing table and started on my hair.

When I was ready I looked at myself in the mirror and twirled.

I had worn this dress on a special date with James and remembered the way his hand trailed up my thigh, pushing the dress up higher and higher.

I shook my head to bring myself back to the present moment.

I fed the dogs and left two fresh milk bottles filled with treats out for them to play with after I was gone.

I got in my taxi and sat flicking through Instagram to try and distract me.

I had a message from Christian.

‘Just so you know I'm here. I'll wait outside for you.’ I smiled down at my phone and took a deep breath when we rounded the corner to the restaurant.

I opened the door, having paid and thanked the driver and looked across the road to the door to Zizzi.

A guy stood near the door, tall and slim, with dark blonde hair that was cut short at the sides but was longer on the top. He was wearing dark trousers and a smart blazer or suit jacket and he raised his hand in a wave when he saw me.

As I walked over I could see a short well trimmed beard across his face and realised he was wearing glasses. 

“Alice?” He asked as I got closer.

I nodded. “Christian?” I asked back. He smiled and nodded and handed me the small bunch of tulips he was holding.

“These are beautiful, thank you.” I said as I raised them to my face to take a sniff of.

“In one of your pictures they are in a vase on the sideboard or something so I guessed you liked them.” 

For a moment I was unsure by this but then I decided the thought he'd put into that was actually sweet and I walked through the door as he held it open.

We got to our seats and we made small talk until our orders had been taken and I was sipping on my pornstar martini.

“So you're on a deserted island. You can only take one thing with you other than the clothes you are wearing. What is it?” I asked him. I'd looked online for good questions to start a conversation and I liked this one.

“The first thing that comes to my mind is an army knife. You know the ones that have a knife, scissors, screwdriver etc.” I nodded at him appreciating the answer.

“How would you survive?” I dug deeper.

He was still contemplating when the food arrived and smiled at me as he took his first bit of pizza.

“I would try to find water first and I would hint for food, hoping my army knife would be enough tools for the food. I don't know if I would attempt to leave or just try and enjoy what time I could in the sun.” 

He watched me as he spoke and after one bite of pasta I just watched him back, listening to his pragmatic answer.

“Now you.” He said and picked up his pizza again.

I thought for a moment and had another bite of pasta and chewed slowly. 

“I would probably take sun cream. And then just find some water and maybe find food but otherwise just enjoy the beach.” I shrugged as he raised his eyebrow at me.

“I am not very crafty, I wouldn't be able to kill an animal to eat so unless there was really good fruit or vegetables I wouldn't last long anyway. Like you said, might as well enjoy yourself if that's fate.” 

He considered and nodded at me, taking another bite of pizza and assessing my face. His focus was a heat across my face as his eyes moved and I found myself looking back at him intently.

We ate dessert and he talked about his time at university and what he was doing now. Working in marketing. He asked me about my time at university and I tried to tell him stories from my time there but I was not crazy; there weren't many stories to actually tell about myself.

We talked long after the food had been cleared away and I booked a taxi before we got up and headed outside.

We got into the taxi together and chatted as we headed to mine. As I went to get out I heard Christian talking to the driver and he climbed out after me. The taxi stayed where it was and Christian walked me to the door.

“I had a great time tonight.” I said to him as I pulled my keys out.

“Me too. Would you like to go out again? Next weekend?” I nodded and he smiled.

“I'll message you.” He lent in and kissed me on the cheek before walking back to the taxi. He turned and raised a hand in a wave as I closed my door and I smiled as I stood against it.

The boys rubbed against my legs and I fussed them before we headed upstairs.