The Love Diary

Wednesday 20th March

I got home from work and slammed the car door and just stood for a moment taking a deep breath.

Work was just bad today. Nothing went right. 

When I felt a little bit calmer I walked in and sat down by the front door to cuddle the boys. Duke sat awkwardly on my lap and Chester started to lick my face as I sat there.

I realised after a moment that tears had started to roll down my face and Chester had laid and placed his head on my free knee.

I realised I needed to get up. Walk the dogs. Tidy up a bit. Eat. You know, life stuff. 

I sighed heavily which made both the boys look up at me. I gently pushed Duke off and stood and felt weighed down.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water which I drank slowly leaning against the sink. 

I decided I needed to really shake it off. So I put some music on to have a dance to. I started slowly, swaying back and forth before I then started to let loose. I started to jump up and down and threw my hands over my head.

I don't actually know how long I danced for but when I finally stopped I felt better. I stood panting and had another glass of water before heading out with the boys.

The day was chilly but dry and I tried to really appreciate the signs of spring that were blooming through town.

I got a strong whiff of something floral and when I looked up the trees we were walking past were covered in small white flowers. 

Toni and Ryan in my ear was starting to make me chuckle and the breeze on my face made me feel refreshed.

I got home and got the boys a treat out and with my podcast still playing over my headphones I went around and did some tidying up.

I made myself dinner and sat at the table looking out the window. I ate dinner and then decided it was time for a bath.

I headed up and ran the bath, grabbing my tablet so I could watch TV while in the bath. I decided to re-watch XO Kitty and climbed into the bath, sinking down low so I was fully covered. 

I sat in the bath until the water cooled and I washed before getting out and wrapping a towel around my hair and then my body.

I kept XO Kitty on and moved into the bedroom to moisturise and get ready for bed.

I saw this thing once about writing down your worries or stresses and then just ripping them up.

So that's what I did.

I made a fairly substantial list and ripped the page out of my notebook. I read it through again. 

“Fuck you.” 

And ripped it. 

I literally ripped it until it was like confetti. And I tossed it into the bin.

I took a breath as I watched the shreds of my bad day fall into the bin.

I got into bed XO Kitty still playing on my tablet, the boys plodding around sporadically. As it got a bit later I decided I needed to turn my screen off and I grabbed hold of my book and snuggled down to read.