MERCENARY 3: Descent into Madness |BTS JIMIN FF|

10

Waking up was strangely... not cold.

I tapped around to feel softness under my palms and fingers. There is no feeling of my fingers sinking into the surface and feeling like they're being swallowed. My face is not cold, and it doesn't feel wet and soggy under my skin.

I fluttered my eyes open, and into my view came the other side of our bed. Her side. Empty. Her pillow untouched next to mine.

I sat up slowly, trying to remember how I ended up here. I was sure I was outside. How did I get to bed?

I scrambled out of the bed, surprisingly feeling less miserable than I thought I would if I slept in it, and went into the shower.

I kind of shocked myself for a second, completely forgetting that my hair is now black. The stranger in the mirror was looking back at me with his empty eyes. His skin pale, looking even paler than usual compared to his dark hair. His clothes hanging off of him even more than before. I look like I'm on my last breaths. I really need to start eating. And I'll go get started on that.

I was making my way down, dragging my feet behind me, but the conversation downstairs got me to stop and listen.

'... he'll kill us.'

'What else were we supposed to do? Let him die?'

*silence*

'Look, I hate seeing him this way. I know all of you do. He's completely broken, and it's gonna take him a while to get him back on his feet. But I wasn't going to let him throw his life away like that.'

'We will have to tell him at some point. He'll figure it out anyway. He's far from stupid.'

'And we will. When he's better and when he can handle it. If we tell him now that we're the ones who shot him, he's gonna shoot us right back and then himself.'

Them?!

I instinctively touched my chest, feeling the stitches through my shirt. They were the ones who shot me. They stopped me from taking my own life. They stopped me from going to Rain.

'I'm not sorry that I did it. I would do it again.' Jin's voice was loud and clear, almost as if he's saying it to me

'Same. I didn't want to see Jimin hyung die like that.' Gyumin... so it was them two.

'None of us did. That's why we did what we did. So just keep it a secret for now. We'll tell him when the time comes.'

'The time is now.'

5 heads turned to me, all with similar expressions. Fear. Straight-up fear.

'You had no right!!' My voice echoed through the entire house as I screamed at them, and all they did was stay silent. 'You had no fucking right to make that decision for me!'

'J-'

'Don't. Even.' I raise my hand to shut Namjoon up, hissing the words at them. 'I've decided long ago that I would go when she does. I promised her I'd follow after her. I promised I'd be by her side in life and death, and you took that away from me!'

They know I'm right. They know because they're looking down to avoid looking at me.

'Instead of letting me join her like I decided to, you saved me only to make me suffer. Every fucking moment of every fucking day, I'm fighting all of you and all of my urges off, just to stop myself from ending it all! Every damn second that I'm awake, I'm in more pain than I could ever put into words. It's eating me alive! If only you let me die-'