MERCENARY 3: Descent into Madness |BTS JIMIN FF|

9

JIMIN POV

I was in and out of the shower in barely any time at all. I just needed to get out of there and bring her new flowers. I never meant to desecrate her grave. I never meant to do it. I didn't. I didn't even know what I've been doing until Namjoon pulled me away from it.

But I'll fix it. I'll make it better.

I have never once bought flowers, and I know nothing about them. I know that there are different ones. That is as far as my knowledge stretches. So walking into a shop, surrounded by colours, it was honestly a bit much.

I walked around, reading names of all those flowers, looking as lost as you could. Possibly why a woman approached me out of nowhere.

'Is there anything I can help you find?'

I was honestly a bit startled, like I tend to be these days, not paying attention to anything going on around me. But I pulled myself together as I looked at the lady in front of me, smiling at me to make me feel welcome.

'I- uhh- I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get.' I stuttered through my words, possibly sounding like I've never had human contact with anyone in my life

'Well, what are you getting flowers for? Or whom?' She keeps smiling at me, looking all bubbly and happy with her short curls framing her small, round face

'My wife.'

'Ahh, I see.' She smiled even brighter. 'What's the occasion? Maybe we can find something to go with the event.'

'It's for her grave.'

I sound like an actual grim reaper. The lady was trying to be all nice and helpful, smiling, and I just dropped a bomb on her. Her smile faltered until it was only a small, sympathetic line.

'I'm sorry to hear that.' She bowed a little. 'We can still figure it out. Are there any flowers she specifically liked or disliked?'

I never got her flowers. I never once thought to get her some. I never even saw her look at them, either. Maybe that's why it never crossed my mind. Or maybe because I was a failure of a husband like I'm a failure at everything else. All I knew how to do was hold her and kiss her. I never did anything for her. It took her dying for me to get her flowers. I am such a failure...

'She-she didn't really have any favourites.' I mumble. 'I just want to put something beautiful on her grave.'

'I see.' She kept that small smile. 'I believe I have an idea, if you're okay with that?'

I just nodded in response because, honestly, I can't even talk right now. And she knows better than I ever could.

She nodded back and started walking around the little shop, touching and picking up random flowers and leaves, collecting them in a little bucket she was carrying.

I didn't really utter a word as I watched her create some sort of an arrangement of roses in mostly white and red colours, surrounded by bright green leaves and some other plant that looked weird to me. It was like small branches with white fluffs at the ends, and on its own, they looked boring, but she somehow made the thing look beautiful altogether.

I never thought so much work went into making a bouquet of flowers. So much precision and care not to break them. So much work to make it meaningful.

Maybe if I was not a clueless idiot, and if I tried harder, I would have been able to give this to her and watch her smile happily as she took it in her hands. Not putting it on her grave.

She turned the finished thing to show it to me, giving me a good look at it as she spoke in some soft voice.

'Would something like this be alright? Usually, people go for more subtle flowers for such an occasion, but roses are a flower of love, and I can see you loved your wife a lot. Red for love and white for devotion and loyalty.'