MERCENARY 3: Descent into Madness |BTS JIMIN FF|

60

RAIN POV

I love you, Rain. For eternity.

The same words he told me before we both nearly died. The same exact ones, but somehow, he sounded more sure of his death now than he did back then. The way his voice trembled was not how it was back then. He's hoarding pain, and it's eating him alive.

Instead of telling him that I don't need to be ready and that he's all I'll ever want and need, I let him walk away with tears in his eyes. I didn't even try to stop him. Maybe it would have been better if I died. That way I wouldn't be able to hurt him like this.

That way, he wouldn't love a woman so dirty and tainted, forced to turn a blind eye to the fact that somebody else defiled me.

I love you. 

I love you.

I love you!!!

I keep thinking it, the words burning the tip of my tongue but won't slip out. I want them to, but I'm scared because I know that when they do slip out, truthfully so, it will be a sign that I'm ready to be my old self, and I am not. I don't want to give him half of myself. He always had all of me, and I am not coming back to him with a handful of misery and nightmares. And I am not giving myself to him while I still can't handle being touched and hugged without my heart nearly jumping out. He doesn't deserve half a woman. He doesn't deserve half a wife. He's giving me his all, and he only deserves the same in return.

'Oh, shit.' I was scared for a second when I landed on my ass, until I saw the dog was the one who pushed me over

It's a rottweiler, and a massive one. I think I could ride on her back with the size of her. But she's a baby. She's trying so snuggle into me, whining in the cute way dogs do, begging to be scratched. Her head is twice the size of mine, and I'm pretty sure she is as heavy as Jungkook. And as black as Jimin. The only bit od colour on her are the tips of her paws and her chin. Other than that, pitch black.

'They overfed you a little, huh?' I smile at the animal, giving her scratches

If this dog ran at me in the middle of the night, I would probably shoot myself just to save myself the pain of being torn apart. She definitely looks like she can cause damage.

She licked my entire face, which was not the nicest of feelings, but what can I do?

'She's hungry.' 

I snapped my head to the side to see Namjoon smiling at me from afar, leaned onto a wall with his arms crossed on his chest. 

'Why do I get the feeling that she's often hungry?'

'Because she is. That dog is like Jungkook. An endless pit. No matter how much she eats, she can eat more. And we, weak creatures that we are, keep giving it to her.' He sighed dramatically, then cracked his smile, flashing his perfect teeth and his famous dimples

'I still can't grasp the fact that Jimin got a dog.'

'Well, it wasn't exactly how it went.' He chuckled. 'Might wanna put some shoes and jacket on. I need to show you something.'

Not like I have anything else to do, so I listened to him and bundled up. I took Jimin's jacket which he left on the sofa, and grabbed the first shoes I found by the door. I didn't want to go upstairs where he is. Naked. I am so not ready for that.

Either way, I followed Namjoon as he walked me out of the house and went around.

'What are we doing in the... back.... garden?'

My words turned to an incoherent whisper as my eyes took in the sight. A grave. 3 graves. And one with my name on it, a rough hole dug in the ground in front of the black, marbel stone. Dirt was all over it, like it was flung around in a hurry.