MERCENARY 3: Descent into Madness |BTS JIMIN FF|

56

'Why didn't you save me from them?'

I didn't need her to ask me this to know that it was my fault. I know it was no one's fault but my own that she was taken.
If I just listened to my gut instead of listening to Namjoon and went with her that one time, she never would have been taken.
If I didn't get crippled by fear when Shadow was holding her only feet away from me, she never would have gone through any of this. Instead of doing what I do best, I fell to my knees and begged. I was ready to die like a naive fool, disregarding the fact that he would have killed her anyway.

My stupidity is what killed her. My incapaility is what made the last few months a living hell for her. For us both. I could have stopped it. Somehow save her. That's what I promised her when I put that ring on her finger. To love and protect her. And I failed her.

Whatever pieces of my heart she put back earlier, they are holding on, hanging by a thread right now. It was always me who was sharp on words, and she was the reasonable one. But, again, no one's fault but my own. And maybe it's about fucking time that I step up and be a rock for her, not the other way around.

The woman who fought for me to bring me back all that time ago is here. Beneath the fragile, scared surface. Maybe it will take digging deep to pull her out, but I will do it. She pulled me out more times than I can count. She gave me life I never had. She loved me when no one else ever could. And even if her words cut through me like a sword, her eyes are telling me something different.

She is terrified. She is traumatized and she will say whatever to save herself. After what the doctor said they did to her, and it was done by an actual doctor, no wonder she won't let him close.

So, instead of breaking down at her words, I stepped between her and the doctor, facing him.
'Whatever you can do from there, do it. You're not coming close to her.'

'I need to check her vitals, sir. I need to check her blood pressure and her iron levels. She came in starved and dehydrated. She needs care.'

'J, don't do this man. It's for her own good.' Hoseok added, whom I completely forgot was here until now

'It's also for all of your own good to not piss me off.' I threaten

'Sir, I understand you are scared. She is, too, and it is normal. But I only need to check on her. I will keep the contact minimal.'

I turned to look at her, her eyes wide with fear and her fingers trembling on the covers she pulled over herself.

'Is it okay if I come close for a second?' I ask her softly, and she nodded, although a bit reluctantly

I pulled my chair next to her bed, coming to sit only inches away from her, keeping my tone as soft as I can. 'Will you let him check you over if I'm here? I'll sit right here, and if he even looks at you wrong, I'll break his neck without a second thought.'

I could practically feel the doctor tense at my words, without even having to look at him. Sorry doc, but my wife will always come first. If she wants you dead, then you're dead.

'Look at me, love.' I call her, making her look back at me. 'I'm right here. You're not alone anymore. I will protect you till my dying breath. And this doctor saved you when we brought you here. He just needs to make sure you're okay.'

'I don't wanna stay here.' She whimpers

'I know you don't. But the sooner you're better, the sooner we can take you home.' I smiled a little, just enough for her to give me a weak nod

'Just don't leave me.' She whimpered again

'Never, my love. I'm never leaving you again.' I offered her my hand, and she grabbed onto it like it's her lifeline, squeezing it tightly.