MERCENARY 3: Descent into Madness |BTS JIMIN FF|

69

RAIN POV

My fucking god, my head is about to explode.

I tried sitting up, and I couldn't figure out if my head was light or heavy. I'm dizzy, and I have a splitting headache worse than any hangover, but my head, as it is, feels too heavy on my shoulders. Like I can't keep it up straight.

Leaning my forehead into my palm, all I wanted to do was to lay back down, but somehow I think that would make it worse. If it can be any worse.

I don't even need to look into a mirror to know that my eyes are the size of golf balls. I know why, too.

When he left the room, I cried for over an hour before falling asleep. I keep hurting him, but I really fucked up last night. This morning. Whatever it was. 

I remember every single thing I've done and thought. I can still feel the lines of his perfect face under my fingers, the tips of them burning like I'm still touching him. I know every thought I had in those moments.

My heart was screaming at me, telling me to kiss him. To tell him that I love him. To get over my shame and let him claim what's already his. And I remember his lips burshing against mine, the warmth, the desire... and I rememeber his face flashing in my mind for a split second, and it felt like a punch to the gut. 

I couldn't do it. I couldn't kiss my own husband because of a single guy who managed to ruin me in ways I never thought possible. I didn't even get to tell him why I couldn't.

As much as I can take, even I have limits.

I'm begging you, don't do this again. Not unless you are sure of it. You damn near ripped my heart out when you pulled away, and I honestly can't handle that again.

His words filled with pain whirled in my mind since the moment he spoke them, and are now back on my mind.

I want to see him. Apologize. Hug him. 

What if he's too hurt to listen or let me hug him?

Wait, what am I even talking about? This man loves me with fire that would scorch the entire universe. I never had a single spec of doubt in it, and I'm not gonna start now. What I am gonna do is shower and go find him.

I really am a mess. Looking at myself in the mirror, you'd think I went through a few sparring rounds. My face is all puffy and swollen. And I really need to eat something. I can feel my ribs under my fingers and that can't be good.

Okay, Rain. Move your crazy ass. 

I showered and then kept my face under the cold water for almost 10 minutes to calm down the swelling, and it helped quite a bit. Not with my headache though, but I can worry about that later. I have bigger issues now.

I put on the first things I could find, it being some cozy sweats and a sweatshirt that I will never throw away. The very same shirt Jimin left at the door of my old room on the day he brought me here. It might be my favourite piece of clothing I ever owned.

One last look of misery in the mirror, and I went downstairs, with one goal in mind. To find Jimin.

I have no idea what time it is, but it's obvious it's past breakfast.

Gyumin and Yoongi are the only ones here, and Gyumin is playing with his play station.

'Hey. Have you seen Jimin?'

Yoongi lifted his head from the gun he was cleaning, looking me over and raising a brow in confusion, but didn't ask a thing.

'Yeah. He's downstairs. Something about needing to kill a bag or two.'