Fame (Except Not) [GxG Fanfic]

48

"I want to, is what I mean," Anna says. "You do actually get that, right?"

"Are you sure?" I say uncertainly.

She seems surprised. "Um, fairly sure, yes."

"I mean, are you sure you want to do this? To me?"

She gives me that same look again, and I start to understand what it means. That I'm being inexplicably silly and I shouldn't. That I'm being so silly she doesn't actually know what I'm on about, but that she'll try and help anyway. Her look is somehow both smugly patronising and slightly worried, both at the same time. It's not a bad look, it isn't cruel, not when she does it. It's kind of tender, actually, even if it's also somewhat confused.

She gives me that look, anyway, and then she just says, "Yes."

"I just mean," I say. "That I did because I wanted to. Because I really, really wanted to. Not to make some obligation on you."

"Yep, I know," Anna says. "Because you aren't a manipulative asshole. Well, guess what, I'm not either, so when I say I want to, I just, well, do."

I think about that.

"Don't make everything so complicated," Anna says. "You really don't have to."

I sigh. I know that I do, and that I am right now. "Sorry," I say, after a moment.

She smiles. "It's fine. But now, um, maybe tell me what's actually wrong?"

"Not wrong, just..." I stop.

"Please tell me?"

"I would have explained before," I say. "Before I did for you. I would have. But we were in kind of a hurry, so, well... I didn't."

"Okay," Anna says. "I mean, yes, I get it, we were in a hurry. But explained what? Like, what's the big deal about all of this. Are you embarrassed to have me do that for you or something?"

I shake my head.

"Are you sure," she says. "I mean, I get it if you are. I know some people feel like that. So if you do..."

"No," I say. "No, it isn't that."

"Okay," she says. "So, well... what is it then?"