Fame (Except Not) [GxG Fanfic]

52

I'm worrying, and I'm aware, too, that eventually, usually, with everyone I'm with, I end up having to explain all of this in the end. And sometimes those conversations go well, and sometimes they don't so much. Sometimes they just end up confused. Because sometimes the person I'm talking to doesn't always understand what I'm trying to say.

I don't like having those conversations, not really, and I never thought I'd be having one with Anna so soon. And I don't really want to. Not in the middle of this. Not while we're supposed to be having sex.

So I sigh, and think, and decide that actually, I don't really want to try. Not right now. Not here.

Instead, I decide to be silly. Kind of. Again.

Because how it worked so well last time.

                     *    *    *

"You're famous," I say. "So, well, I sort of had to do you. Since you wanted me to."

Anna just looks at me. She seems a bit surprised. Surprised, and a little taken aback, like I just said something completely silly. I'm suddenly less certain about this. About being silly. Perhaps silly isn't quite going to work how it was meant to.

"Never mind," I say quickly.

"Um," Anna says. "No. I'm sorry, I don't think I understand...?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Well, actually it does if something's wrong..."

I sigh. I look at her, and her worried face, and decide I have to explain, now. "I had to do you because you're famous, is all I mean," I say. "But you don't need to do me, not if you don't want to. Because I'm not."

"Not famous?"

I nod. "Yep. I'm not, and you are, and so you get oral. But maybe not me. That's just how it is."

I'm still trying to be silly. Halfway silly. And to explain my stupid joke. But sitting there, I'm suddenly not sure Anna understands that. Either of that.

"What," she says. "Because I'm famous, I don't have to..."

I shrug. Then I nod. "Isn't that how it is?" I say. "It's almost a rule or something. Like with groupies and musicians and stuff?"

Anna thinks about that. "I'm not a musician..."

"I know. But still. Isn't that how it is?"

Anna looks at me, and thinks some more. She thinks, and then she says, "Um, that's kind of a bit fucked up, isn't it?"