Fame (Except Not) [GxG Fanfic]

50

Because I just don't get why someone wouldn't want to. That's the actual problem.

To me, giving someone head is the most sexy, wonderful, generous thing you can do for another person, ever. It's wonderful, and doing it to anyone is wonderful, at any time, for pretty much any reason, even if you do need to maybe politely ask her to shower before you start. Or just get some spit on your hand and wipe it along her quickly. I mean, even if you have the flu, or a hangover, or you just woke up in the middle of the night from a deep sleep, even then it's the most perfect and sexy thing you can do with someone, ever. Most perfect. No exaggeration.

And that's how I feel, but I know not everyone does. And I really don't get why not. I don't get what's wrong with everyone else. Or I suppose, what's wrong with me. One or the other, anyway, and it doesn't really matter which. The point is, I don't get why everyone else doesn't feel like I do. I don't get it to the point that it messes with my head.

I mean, I've never quite understood why we live in such a boring world as one where people need to use actual words to tell each other they're friends. Or make cupcakes, or give each other greeting cards, or whatever. Because if you want to show someone you care about them and like them, why not just say, "Hey, do you want some head?"

That's so much better, and simpler, and is what I'd rather do.

Um, which is to say, I'd rather. But I don't actually do that, obviously. And I do get why we don't live in that world. Obviously that, too. I mean, I'm not so caught up in myself I don't understand how complicated an oral-means-hugs world would be to actually live in. And how unproductive everyone would be, because of all the happy. And how absolutely difficult it would do anything else, ever. And especially how fraught and complicated friendships would be. I mean, I get that, but all the same, I feel like that would be a nice world, and that sometimes I'd still want to live there, anyway.

I'd want to, I think, but that isn't the point.

The point is, I like giving head. I like it, and pretty much always want to, and quite often do, and that's just how I feel. But I also know that I'm weird about this, and not everyone else feels the same. And I don't understand those people, the ones who don't, and how they can possibly not, and why they don't adore it as much as me. And because I don't understand, I suppose because of that, I get a little bit paranoid about people feeling obliged to do it for me. Because if some people inexplicably don't want to, then maybe everyone doesn't want to. Maybe no-one else actually likes it doing it, and I'm this one weird exception, this horrible mistake, who actually does. Maybe, really, all the time, everyone else is actually just being polite.

Because how would I know? Really? I mean, if people are too polite to say? And how would I ever be able to work it out on my own, either, when I'm so utterly different to everyone else? And even worse, if all of that were true, and no-one else does like doing it, then actually, I'm making the whole thing worse, by running around wanting to give people head, which just makes them obliged to do it for me. Out of politeness.

So that's what's bothering me, and why I started worrying. Because I think about all this, sometimes, at awful times, mostly because I don't understand how other people feel, or why they feel like that, and the not understanding, that makes me act a bit weird occasionally.

Like it is right now.