Sunshine, Starlight | Aryan Simhadri

Part 8

Filming went by way too fast, before I knew it we were in the last week and everyone was starting to finish their scenes and leave

"And cut !" I wiped a tear that was rolling down my cheek away and turned to look at Aryan

"Are you crying?"

"No I just got dust in my eyes" he says wiping his eyes

"Sure"

"Shut it you're crying too"

"Yeah and I'm not using some terrible excuse" she hugged him, resting my head on his shoulder "I don't want this to be over" i whispered just loud enough for him to hear

"Yeah me neither" he whispered back holding me tighter "this is always the worst part" he lets go still keeping an arm around my shoulder, I look over to Leah and Walker who are just talking about something I can't hear from where I'm standing

"I can't believe how fast the time passed"

-✨-

"Hey Belle we're going to find a café or something are you coming ?" Leah asked plopping her head into our hotel room

"No thanks I think I'll pass this time"

"Alright, everything alright ?"

"Yeah just tired I haven't had enough sleep in a while" I smiled, a lie. A complete and total lie

"Good night Belle, call any of us if you want or need anything" She rolled her eyes jokingly at me

"I will, have fun bye" I kept the smile on until the door closed, my face fell immediately and I let out a huge breath that I didn't know I was holding in

I loved all of them, Aryan, Leah, Charlie, Dior, Walker, I loved all of them really a lot but being around people 24/7 gets a lot after a while. I just need my own space to breathe a minute. My heart was racing uncontrollably and my hands were shaking. I just breathed, in and out, like Walker had told me a million times

After calming down I grabbed my headphones and put them on, turning the volume up until I could stop hearing my thoughts. I closed my eyes focusing on the lyrics, the melody, the notes, I loved music.

I grabbed my notebook opening it and flicking through the pages

I was in fact writing songs and I really liked them but I wouldn't publish them, the thought was just too embarrassing for everyone to know what I'm thinking

I put on rain sounds on my headphones and closed my eyes before grabbing my pen and starting writing

I'll say whatever you want, but
I've become such a liar
I used to follow my gut, but
Now I'm just getting higher
It's been a couple of months
since I turned to something
Violent
I should be happier now so why
do I feel this quiet

The pen just flew through the page as the thoughts streamed out of me like a glass that was filling over

(Im sorry I got carried away you can skip this part 😭)
Now I only let me down
When there's no one else
around
I've been thinking way too loud
I wish that I could block me out

I wish that I could block me out,
oh
I think I'm burning alive, but
nobody sees the fire
'Cause when l open my mouth,
I seem to be stuck in silence
And I thought of leaving
tonight, but I couldn't drive, this
tired
Plus, after all this time I should
be a pretty crier
And now I only let me down
When there's no one else
around
I've been thinking way too loud
I wish that I could block me out
Don't know how they see me
now
Feeling lost in every crowd
I feel ten feet off the ground
I wish that I could block me out
And in my head, I make a mess
of it
I'm getting tired, of feeling
delicate
I look around, to find it desolate
I used to try, but nothing's
helping it
And in my head, I make a mess
of it
I'm getting tired, of feeling
delicate
I look around, to find it desolate
l used to try, but nothing's
helping it, hmm

I lay the pen to the side and lower my headphones to my shoulders

I read through the lines trying to fine a melody with my hums since I don't have my guitar with me

I grab my pen again writing block me out on the top of the page then grabbing my phone to make an audio of how I want it to sound

After that I put the note book back into the bottom drawer under a few books I have brought with me starting scrolling on TikTok

About 5 minutes after that I start hearing noise outside my room and then a knock on my door

I debate if I should open the door for a second, but eventually stand up and open the door, only a tiny bit at first but then completely when I see who it is

"I got you a hot cocoa and a cookie" Aryan smile holding up the bag and the cocoa

"What- you didn't have to come back for me"

"Pf who said I came back for you" he pushed past me and sat on my bed

I couldn't help the smile on my lips as I still faced the hallway before calming the smile slightly and closing the door leaning onto it "did you ?"

"Yeah" I sat down across from him and grabbed the cup of hot cocoa taking a sip out of it

"Woah this tastes like amazing" I say letting the warm taste burn into my tongue

"Right ?! That's why I had to bring one to you"

"How did you know I wasn't sleeping, I said I was" I grabbed the cookie taking a bite also enjoying the taste of it

"Cause I know you" he said, he was laying on his side just looking at me "you got overwhelmed, wanted a little space. That's fine but staying on your own for too long can make you loose you mind" he whispered the last part while I sipped my cocoa trying to hide the warm feeling that just formed inside my chest, not from the cocoa but rather from him knowing that "So what did you do sunshine ? All on your own ?"

"Nothing I just-, nothing"

"You just ...?" He raised an eyebrow at me, my song texts were my deepest secret, they showed my naked feelings. Not even Walker knew about these so for me to tell someone they'd have to be really special

"I just wrote a little" I felt good saying it, I felt good saying it to him he just frowned at me

"You wrote ? What did you write ?"

"That's a secret" I whisper said with a grin

"Oh come on I can keep a secret" I looked at him for a good 10 seconds before I stood up

"Come on I'll show you something" I took my cocoa with me leaving the cookie back in the bag

I slid my feet into my slippers and grabbed his hand and nothing else, I wouldn't need my phone, not with Aryan. I walked out of my room pulling him behind me, he closed the door and we went to the elevator. While we were standing there in silence I let go of his hand realising that I had been holding it the entire time I pushed the button on the top to go to the highest floor

"Are you like trying to murder me or something ?" He asked a little confused about all this I suppose

"Shh we don't want anyone else knowing that do we ?"I grinned

Once we reached the top the doors opened and I led the way to the staircase walking up the last flight of stairs until we were standing on the rooftop with a beautiful view of the clear night sky

"Woah" Aryan let out when he saw all the stars showing in the sky

Authors note:
Man I crave love like this 😭
I'm the biggest most hopeless romantic so this will have a lot of cheesiness just saying 🫶