Sunshine, Starlight | Aryan Simhadri

Part 126

"What do you mean youre not sure if you can keep doing this ? Doing what ?" I let out a shaky breath

"This, us" my voice broke entirely at the end and I let out a quiet sniffle , still not daring to look at Aryan, I couldn't handle seeing his expression

"What ? No- Belle. What do you mean ?"

" I mean, all this, it's too much Aryan. You're doing all that and I'm not doing anything"

"You're grieving Belle. I'm not gonna let you break up with me because you're grieving"

"It's not just that"

"Belle I'm not letting you go"

"Aryan it's for the better"

"It's not, how would it be for the better ?!"

"Look it's great when we're together but there's so much time we're apart" I shook my head a little finally having enough courage to look at him, he had tears sparkling in his eyes too

"It's just distance, we see each other so often Belle and we're gonna be together every day in a month when filming starts"

"Aryan..."

"No. You're not breaking up with me. I'm not letting you do this"

"Aryan I can't- I can't keep doing this the distance only hurts us, I feel like I'm doing more harm than good with the distance and it's not gonna stop, it's gonna keep hurting us over and over again" I felt my heart physically aching more and more with every word that left my mouth "I'm sorry"

"No- no, Belle"

"It's for the better, maybe it isn't supposed to be or maybe it is and if it is we will find our way back to each other but for now we have to stop, you deserve better Aryan"

"I don't. There isn't better than you Belle"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't do this Belle" the tears were running down my cheeks with no break in between, I shook my head slightly looking down when I felt aryans hand rest on my cheek, I closed my eyes and leaned into the hand "This is absurd Belle you're not- this is the grief talking come on" I shook my head again

"It's not, this is not a spur of the moment decision Aryan I have thought about this, about you and us for so long and every time I came to this conclusion. It's for the best, it may not feel like the best right now but just know that it is." I opened my eyes to meet his again and regretted it immediately, his eyes were filled with so much pain and the tears on his face made me want to take every word I ever said that caused him pain back

"Belle"

"It's for the better. I promise" he shook his head again "I'm sorry Aryan" I blinked another few tears away and let them fall onto my cheek getting up from the bed to walk away, his hand reached for my hand and held it holding me back from walking away, I closed my eyes shortly before turning my gaze to him again

"Don't do this, I love you"

"I love you so much Aryan, but that's why I have to do this" I looked at him for a second longer, he pulled me into a hug and just held me for a little while, I tried to memorise everything, the way his arms felt around me, the way his curls tickled me and the way he smelled

I walked away after that, leaving the room and then walking into mine, tears blurring my vision while doing so

I closed the door behind me, locked it and rested my forehead against it just letting myself cry for all of it, I didn't know how I was going to manage anything without Aryan by my side but I knew that, right now at least, I couldn't be with him either, I couldn't keep hurting him

I slid down the door leaning my back against it and pulled my knees towards my chest hugging them, I was in freaking LA with so many people everywhere yet I had never felt so alone

I pulled my phone out and called the first person my mind fell to, watching my phone ring once before he picked it up

"Whats up ? Want to brag about LA ?" There was a short silence followed by a sob from my end "what's going on ?"

"I just broke up with Aryan" I cried wiping under my eyes to clear the tears, which immediately came back though

"What ? What do you mean ?"

"I don't know" he stayed quiet on the other end "I'm a terrible girlfriend Walker I couldn't keep hurting him, I just couldn't"

"You're not a terrible girlfriend Belle, it's going to be okay"

"I love him so much Walker"

"I know you do"

"He looked so hurt"

"Belle"

"I didn't mean to hurt him"

"Belle, it's gonna be okay"

"It's not" I cried shaking my head, which he couldn't even see "nothing is gonna be okay without Aryan"

"It will be" I kept crying, I wasn't sure what to say, I had stayed behind from New York for a day longer so I could do this without the entire world knowing

I couldn't deal with the whole world knowing and commenting on this quite yet

I was really sure that Aryan is the on for me, I couldn't picture myself with anyone else in the near or far future but Aryan deserved better than this, Aryan deserved someone to focus their entire attention on him. He deserved to not have to constantly worry about his girlfriend

I know it's for the better.

But if it's for the better then why does it hurt that much ?

Authors note:
Whoopsies what just happened ?
😬😬
Should I be scared for my life now ? 😥
Well.... I don't really know what else to say 🥸
Please don't kill me