Day 150 and I'll never reset again
Day 169 and I fight so hard
Day 170 and it saves me
Day 0 and the butterflies die
Day 0 and green becomes purple again
Day 0 and it feels like everything is lost
Day 0 and the guilt numbs my pain
Day 0 and relief turns into regret
Day 0 and all the hope is lost
Day 575 and here I am, the hope is back
Day X and maybe then the urges will be gone.
☆
The line "green becomes purple again" refers to the app I Am Sober, where you can track addictions, including self harm or custom ones (see picture above).
I don't know if that day X even exists - Yes, there are days I don't waste a single thought to self harm, but I don't know if the days I get urges will ever completley go away. But maybe they don't have to, maybe I'll be able to live a happy life anyways.
We will see.
YOU ARE READING
It does get better.
PoetryPeople say it will get better. But to be fair, most of them never were in your place. They say you will get happy again, but how can they know? I've struggled with trauma, mental illnesses and self harm for many years. These are (mostly) poems - abo...
