Broken and hollowed out
Like some kind of glass vase
Shattered on the ground
Cuts opening up wide
Searching for myself underneath my skin
I claw out my heart and look inside
Only to realize you had already won
You took away my face
And everything behind is gone
Like some kind of personality-theft
Not knowing what you did to me
But the trauma's all that's left
☆
I told my therapist I think I could have PTSD but don't feel like my trauma is enough to be valid. She said it is, even though I never told her details.
She also told me she's proud of my progress and thanked me for finally opening up more.
And I have my qualification to graduate and next week my finals start.
I feel like a fucking mess right now and I don't even know why.
Also I'm panicking rn because in three days I have my first final exam (of three written ones plus one oral exam). I thought it would be fine bc I've written so many exams before and for this I'm even well prepared but no, of course I have to panic again.
I'll just use this as a space to vent off topic, yesterday I went to get ice cream and two boys stopped me to ask if I were a girl or boy. First of all nice, because I didn't even really try to pass as trans masc, but when they asked again and I said "No, I'm not a girl" they started insulting me. Wtf. You're maybe 10 or 12 leave me alone.
But I think they thought I'm a feminine boy/man so I'll take it. It's just sad I only seem to pass in such situations.
YOU ARE READING
It does get better.
PoetryPeople say it will get better. But to be fair, most of them never were in your place. They say you will get happy again, but how can they know? I've struggled with trauma, mental illnesses and self harm for many years. These are (mostly) poems - abo...
