Suicide isn't beautiful
Self harm isn't edgy
Depression isn't trendy
We aren't angels returning to heaven
We are people struggling to survive
Depression is blinding, depression is numbing
We don't do it to be cool
We do it because we think it's what we deserve
We do it because we have to cope
When emotions are too strong
Trauma too much
Then sometimes you don't see another way
All the anger
The shame
The guilt
The grief
The hate
Sometimes you let it out and only make it worse
But it feels so good for a second
So you do it again
Then it gets too much again
So you do it again
Self harm lets the emotions fade
Self harm lets you feel again
Self harm lets life seem possible again
But it is in the name:
Harm
It harms on the outside but so much worse on the inside
Because addiction doesn't make it better
Because not every way of coping is a healthy one
☆
I wanted to write some sort of wholesome text, instead it's a vent about stupid people. I guess I just needed to get it out. Just know there always are people who do take your struggles serious.
I'm sick of people romanticizing self harm and mental illnesses. When you don't tell people your diagnosis they don't take you serious, when you do they think you're faking it and when you tell them it's official you're an attention seeker. I'm sick of it.
Can't my problems matter without words on a paper?
Can't you just believe me when I tell you I'm not "just a bit tired and timid like everyone is"?
Sure, not everyone is like this.
I have people in my life who listen and are always there for me. But then you get online or talk to your grandparents and get to hear: "Not to be offending, but kids like you tend to self diagnose. Are you sure you're really blablabla?" just because you have pronouns in your bio. "I totally get you, everyone is sad sometimes" but you didn't say goodbye to your parents as a teen, thinking they will never see you alive again. Oh, and always this shit about "Self harm is so emo, cool x3" you've never been there you don't no fuck about it.
I'll try to write something positive for tomorrow though :)
Just because I had some shitty dreams I won't let them keep my mood down for the whole day. I was proud yesterday, maybe I can get that back and make it into a wholesome poem, we'll see.
YOU ARE READING
It does get better.
PoetryPeople say it will get better. But to be fair, most of them never were in your place. They say you will get happy again, but how can they know? I've struggled with trauma, mental illnesses and self harm for many years. These are (mostly) poems - abo...
