I need to breathe
I need to breathe
I need to breathe
But the more I do the worse it gets
My chest hurts
My sight blurs
I'm just a shaking mess
And all I can do is waiting for it to pass
I'm suffocating from breathing way too fast
Blood is rushing through my ears
I feel everything and nothing at once
I am dizzy from the oxygen
I need to flee
I need to flee
I need to flee
But I feel like I am paralyzed
Air flowing in and out
My heart is pounding way too loud
I feel as if I'm going to cry
And for once I fear to die
☆
Most sources say usual panic attacks last a couple minutes, without an obvious trigger and feel like you're dying. But as someone who has experiences many different panic attacks over the course about five years I can tell you not all of them are this way. Funny thing is, one big trigger for me are breathing exercises - those that are supposed to calm you down. Sometimes my attacks are completely random, sometimes they happen when I think about specific things in the future or past. Some are just a few seconds (had them as a side effect of my meds), some go up to 30min.
It's shitty, but by now I get along with them pretty well. Lately I got quite good at feeling them come and even preventing them.
YOU ARE READING
It does get better.
PoetryPeople say it will get better. But to be fair, most of them never were in your place. They say you will get happy again, but how can they know? I've struggled with trauma, mental illnesses and self harm for many years. These are (mostly) poems - abo...
