It does get better.

☆ I (don't) miss it ☆

I miss being sick

I miss the pain, I miss the guilt
Because even my regret
Made me feel fulfilled

I miss that people stared
All the worried looks
Because finally they cared

I miss being irresponsible
Not even trying anything
'Cause getting worse was impossible

I miss having an excuse
Avoiding every chore
'Cause I had nothing to lose

I miss having to hide
Whilst creating physical proof
Hoping they would find

I miss my life inside my head
Always running from reality
And trying to forget

I miss never having to care
I could relapse at any time
And now I'll never dare

But do I really miss being sick?

I'm so much happier today
I can finally be proud
And my troubles seem so far away

Even at my lowest, I wasn't free
But now I'm careless
And who I've always wished to be

Now that I know peace
I'll never miss the violence
And now that I can talk
I won't ever want to hurt in silence

Now that I learned to love myself
I'll never miss hating me
And since I have progress to show
I want everyone to see

Now I know how good life can be
Because only while recovering
I realized how bad it really was
The true amount of all my suffering

Trauma didn't kill me
But what strengthened me was fighting back
I thought I didn't have what it takes
But now I see that there's nothing that I lack

☆

I oftentimes feel like life was easier when I was sick. It's easy to give up and let depression sick you down. It's easy to be and stay addicted. It's easy to be comfortable when you're ill.
Fighting is hard. Recovery is hard.
But it's really worth it. I sometimes realize how far I've come. Sometimes, random things show me what all changed, what I never thought was possible.
My diagnosis depression doesn't fit me anymore. My social anxiety is barely enough to worry about at all nowadays. I'm getting over my trauma. And today, I'm 800 days clean from self-harm.