It does get better.

☆ Grades ☆

You get 50 percent
And everyone's disappointed
You get 65
And still feel like a failure

You get 70 points
And told to be better
You work your way up to 80
But they don't seem to care

You get an 85
It's still not enough
You get a 90
It's still not perfect

You finally reach the 95
You get the best grade
But what dies it matter
When it's still not a 100?

And when it is
Why weren't the previous ones?
Why isn't the next one too?
Why can't you just be good enough?

Because you are human
Humans make mistakes
Nobody's perfect
But everyone expects it

(TW for the following)

It's called a competition
And you know what's one too?
Self harm
Mental illness

You are down
No one cares
You want pain
No one knows

You bruise yourself
It's not enough
You cut yourself
It's just scratches

You go deeper
It's still not beans
You don't get stitches
It's not valid

Or you want to die
But that is normal
You make plans
But you're a coward

You act out on it
But it's a stupid way
In the end
It never is enough

☆

I'm annoyed by everyone making it a competition while I want to do it too. I want to post things to "prove" how bad I am or were, I seek more diagnoses and want to relapse just to get myself in an even darker place.

But you know what?

Some will drown in the ocean but people that drown in their own bathtub aren't less dead. Nobody will tell them they don't deserve a coffin because they didn't suffer bad enough. And just because it's less water doesn't mean it can't have the same effect.

People will suffer in different ways and people have different trauma. You can get C-PTSD from war or from bullying or develop depression from losing a loved one or genetics. You can start self harm after years of abuse or just to try it and still get addicted.
You're still valid.