How do I continue when I never thought I would?
I never pictured my future
I've had a dream job but never thought that could be real
I knew people got children but I never planned to have a family
One day I should finish school but I never imagined it
Five years ago I first wanted to die
Four years ago I wasn't supposed to survive
Until school ends it's easy
You have a structure
You just stick to the plan
Someone will always tell you what to do
When they ask about your future
You won't say "I'll be dead"
And an "I don't know" they won't accept
So you play pretend and make it up
Now it's years later
I didn't plan to still be here
School is ending
And I'm left with nothing
I'm lost, but not because there is no way
There are too many
Where do I go when I never thought I'd be here to begin with?
☆
Idk what to say except for you'll somehow figure it out.
Now that I don't have classes anymore it's actually somewhat relaxed. I was scared of it (when I wrote this), but now I'm doing better. All I have to do is prepare for my exams, not fail them and then I'll be free. Sure, I'm still scared but what dies it change? I have to get through anyways and, oh, I will.
YOU ARE READING
It does get better.
PoetryPeople say it will get better. But to be fair, most of them never were in your place. They say you will get happy again, but how can they know? I've struggled with trauma, mental illnesses and self harm for many years. These are (mostly) poems - abo...
