1. Memories, For, When I Am. (Being edited 2024)

Together alone, alone together

Yet another for Jordan, though I don't mind I love writing things for her to eventually read. This one is of the loop I go through when waiting out the week till I can see her again and hold her as it means a lot to me since I've since lost the ability to self depend due to showing her a sense of how to control the things that might get to her. I allude to how I've known her even before having met her in person, just remember i believe in and function differently from most or certain people though you'll learn my secrets soon enough. also written at 16.

Also as a further note in this pretext due to dealing with depression and how bad it is sometimes I've lost the ability to physically cry to some extent and to describe it it's like I'm doing the physical, but instead "phantom tears" and also yes this relates to the third line. Enjoy.

Silent sorrow

trickles down

unknown, unseen, unheard, contained

in the depths of 

a growing heart

open to where love resides

and I lie thinking

quiet,

silent,

waiting,

never changing,

as I await you

and your smile

that makes me feel alive

when you're round,

agonizing,

defeating,

epitomizing,

I will triumph over it all

the sooner I can hold you.

Seconds to minutes

minutes to hours

hours to days

days to weeks and months and years

but it has only been a short

time.

I have known you forever in what I write,

I have written 4 years

of my life away

writing to a person I hadn't

met

at least not then, which then was yet,

I've been missing one person

my entire life

someone close bet yet described

maybe,

it.

was.

you.

If I could explain

it would take 16 years

and I would die

of sadness and inner turmoil,

all of my life

I have been

sick with this longing love

and now we are together alone

and alone together

for as long as the stars may shine.