1. Memories, For, When I Am. (Being edited 2024)

Fear

April,

The time I learn her memories,

The time I share her pain,

her loss, like a curse,

These days,

These first few weeks,

are Serenity's time of dying,

back when her name was Yrlana.

Burned and slaughtered for

her crafts and trades unjust

by others,

Though just by her,

I feel the burning,

the heartache,

I cry the tears she has shed.

Memories not belonging to me,

though I am honored to have,

tear both of us apart,

One living, One bodily impaired towards the corporal world,

They keep her here, She, as I know, does not want to

be released from her duty.

The fear of losing me,

The fear of having failed her daughter,

her lover, her son,

I share it all,

only I can do this for her,

knowing the bond we share.

I fear when she fears,

I suffer when she suffers,

I smile when she laughs,

I sleep while she stays awake,

I share the shackles that bind her

on these legs beneath this skin.

Her love is my love,

Her passion is my fire,

Her terrors,

my own.

I've never felt someone so filled

with grief,

Forced to exist within it alone,

before it let known,

and now I share her pain.

I rise before the sun,

knowing I'm called for,

Only these long weeks,

and then she'll be fine,

Once a year, every year,

for 892 years of 1227.

This is not fiction,

I wouldn't lie about a person long dead

that I can feel touch my skin.

I, the girl who lives to often,

and she, the woman who dies too soon,

too harsh, too and so alone,

In this time, I am her guide,

her sanity, her sanctuary,

Just as she proves for me.

It's only just begun,

It will only get worse,

I will show no fear,

no hate, no spite towards Serenity,

just as she does for me

day to day

before each sunrise.

It'll be ok soon,

All I have to do is last for her

she says,

All this will bring us closer,

She's not my lover,

but I love her as she loves me,

this month I will be her hero.

"Speak not and remain in a

dying slumber,

and rest with me in these sheets

I lie here under,

and do sing me your sultry

lullaby,

as you pass me your warm sulfur

kiss goodnight."

I am beloved to her,

I will not falter,

I will not sunder,

but with her I will burn

for the guide with

a grace unmatched

and like no other.