𝚑𝚎𝚢𝚢❤️ 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐...
~ the art of romanticizing life, melancholy and to put it simple: deep thoughts ~
...𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝.
Over quite some time I gathered a little coll...
building pillow castles with you, playing hide and seek in the woods you can meet me in the cornfield on another afternoon.
I remember listening to my dad's old CDs on the terrace and how it felt like summer, wearing my black boots to see guns n' roses for the first time, drying bordeaux red petals between book pages, the proud face of my grandma as she taught me to paint those flowers.
hugging my mom up to saying hi, hello on the phone and I swear can hear her smile - every time, my dad still calling me his blonde angel, even though I can't confess where I've been again -
I've been running through the rain with you, each thursday evening after school, meet me at your place with my new friends and your silver haze.
from old hip hop music and breakdance to trips and trains and trance, I remember all the campfires and outdoor raves and how hearing your music for the first time put me in a daze, like reading poetry between daisies on the grass or watching the stars, lying on the warm asphalt.
all of that and... tearing up on the bench in my hometown cutting myself on the edges of the crown you gave me - expectations, perfectionism, bloodshot eyes, deprecation and disguise - I gave myself.
I remember drinking gin and juice on ice for the very first time and watching the sun set in orange hues on your balcony - for the last time.
stealing shopping carts, playing darts getting into trouble for art - coincidents leading me to people who I just know will stay, the one's I used to pray upon each day, up to meeting you by surprise - I remember drinking hot wine outside and the colder winter nights and falling out of love with you when I wish I hadn't.
falling again, getting up on losses and wins and fails and falls and scars - engraved in skin like stars and the smile that is now mine, glistening tears 'cause somehow somewhen in time something aligned... to watch and write to cry and try to dream to scream to get lost to be enough to feel (to feel everything!!) and - to understand
...who I am.
~
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Hi, hello! <3 this piece is from like a year ago and I just stumbled across it again lately and really wanted to publish it, so here it isss...
So I had this vision for this poem... I wanted it to be like scenes from a movie - different short sequences, played fast forward, recorded on an old vhs camera and then let it end in some sort of firework crash.
An ode to life, to every good and every bad experience and to simply falling in love with what we call "life" itself... how crazy it is to be so alive!
I know this was quite long, so thank you so so much if you read until here! <3
~ references: "losses and wins and fails and falls" ~ Lana Del Rey (from 'Money Power Glory')