bloodredroses | poetry

water soul

everything slips again
right through my water hands,
and in another kind attempt
they try to tell me how to hold stand,
but every piece of advice is of no use to me -
it all just comes from land.

sometimes I envy them
for they are earth,
they seem so grounded -
I instead am always moving.

and I am tired,
I cannot really ever stop the waves,
always forward, always rowing
in hopes of getting to a "better" place.
and I love it here, it's where I want to be,
out in the ocean that captures me,
even though I never really liked swimming.

it's kind of funny,
it's ironic
how it's the same things that bring me life
that drown me too.
I'm made of water
and I wish I was earth,
sometimes...

I don't want to love the ocean so much,
but I do.
I don't want to swim
and yet I'm here.

I get so sick of always having to push water away,
my hands, my feet...
maybe I need a shore, a coast
or an anchor for my shipwrecked boat -
a place to breathe,
somewhere to rest my head,
but I can't help but hate the sand.

it makes me cough,
as it turns out
and on the ground I'm not any less lost than I am found.
so I go back to my familiar depths,
where I know my way around.
every corner of the sea I've seen,
I spend all my time here -
cursed and blessed, trapped yet free...
I guess my mother was always right:
I'm a water soul
and this land is not built for someone like me.

~

~

sometimes I like to be dramatic...

thank you so much for reading!! let me know what you think in the comments :)

xo, S🌹❤️