Reminiscence [Dabi X Reader]

part 34

I could see the police standing before me with cuffs and hands clinging onto me while I barely managed to watch them, it was blurry. Maybe I was crying, and I could only hear, “Just don’t listen to him, we’ll be fine, just don’t listen to him, we’ll be fine, just don’t listen to him, we’ll be fine, just don’t listen to him, we’ll be fine, just don’t listen to him, we’ll be fine, just don’t listen to him, we’ll be fine…………”

“NO THAT’S TOUYA” I screamed, and then noticed it was a clear morning with no red and blue lights or cuffs. I had my coffee mug before me with a cloud of tiny drops of water coming out of it. I was well awake, in fact, I was just daydreaming and it wasn’t about good things. The idea that a lot could be taken away from me at this moment and I had no control over it drove me towards slow madness day and night. It had been a week since Miko tried to pull that stunt. After that, I did the usual. Going to the endeavors office and coming back home yet I remember none of it, I didn’t know what I had for dinner last night or the night before that. All I remembered as fresh as pomegranate seeds right out after peeling was the night I ventured out into the underworld, I couldn’t imagine what would happen if he were to confess. Would I just end up being a girl who does jail visits for the life of me for eternity? The idea seemed too unreal to me, I shook it off and put some strands of hair behind my ear.

He couldn’t risk it, right? He wouldn’t do it if it meant being away from me. Would it make me a bad person to want him not to do what is right just so I could have him in whatever way I can? Even the pieces of interaction work. Even distant glances would work, as long as he isn’t involved in bad things or screw that, has anyone felt so in love with a person that they are willing to question their morality for it? Like I am right now. I just want him without any bars and boundaries involved. I just want him in his entirety without any forms to fill out or visits to count. I put on my long coat over my brown turtleneck and pants at last wrapping a scarf around my neck, drowning in warm clothes before the chills caught up to me, I drifted my mind away from the restless thoughts, but the thing is they would always be there in the back of my mind. I’ve learned from being so far away from him, that wanting comes in waves. It comes when I’m alone walking home and I see people putting their hands in other pockets to warm them up, then I mourn the loss of two other pockets, and sometimes I mourn the loss of clothes that would’ve taken the extra closet space and sometimes a head of raven hair when I needed to run my fingers through it.

On my way to work, I stopped by the grocery stores since not leaving the house for a week does not help when you live alone, I took a basket and put in my cereal, milk, and vegetables, and while on the vegetable aisle, I heard the news on television

“My name is Touya Todoroki”

My heart dropped to my gut as I heard him, I suddenly felt too sick and paralyzed to hear anything, and a thousand voices filled up my head, that second felt like it hid a painful infinity in it, like my own personal hell, when I came back to my senses everyone on that aisle was looking at me with worried eyes, I looked down to see a dropped basket and extreme sweat buildup in my hands. A lady whispered from where she was standing, “Are you okay dear?”

I didn’t know what to say, what kind of response would be okay? I just nodded in denial while wiping sweat from my forehead “No” and ran towards the television where a crowd was already bubbling, among them I could see red hints of silky feathers. It made me even more sick. My gaze traveled up to have a look at the screen and I saw him.

There he was, without a worry in the world. Might he be thinking about me even a little I wondered if I was at the grocery store just thinking about him and he’d show up at television. What would I do then? Would he be thinking about that while sitting there shirtless? Leaning his hands on his jeans like he just lost a battle.

“My father is the number one hero, Endeavor” he raised his head a little so I could see those turquoise eyes just fine, not an ounce of emotion in them. “Yes, the so-called villain sitting in front of you is Endeavor’s oldest son. I’ve killed more than 30 people as of now, Endeavour has always obsessively yearned for power, and while chasing it he forgot he could love or care or be a hero so I am here to remind you that I am not dead, I never died. I’m quitting the League of Villains for a reason, but isn’t it a funny endeavor that I am not coming back to you?”

And then he stopped speaking, leaving me spiraling and blankly staring at the screen that now contained the face of a woman who was reciting the news. If he was not coming back to endeavor, he was not coming back to me. I turned back to leave for home after paying for the milk bottle I had broken. I had no wish to go to Endeavors and see all those same faces with clueless expressions looking for answers everywhere, even in me they’d look for the answers that I don’t have. I felt hopeless and so sick, I went to the corner of the footpath near the sewer and puked.

“Looks like Your little boyfriend is bad for your health” A hand was petting my back but all I could feel was disgust.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I said wiping my mouth and walking straight down the path leaving hawks standing there.

“But you would need to if you want to know ‘the reason’ he was talking about”

I didn’t stop or give him any reaction but how would he know that? I completely blocked myself from thinking about the reason he might’ve had to leave League of Villains, I knew he left. I knew he was going to confess but I never thought it would be on television with so much coldness in his eyes that I would again start questioning what was he going to do this time or does he even think about me while being on television.

What was the reason?

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Heyy! Is anyone alive here??