Crazy Over You

📚 Chapter 19 📚

"I forgot to ask," Eros says from the driver seat. I look away from the book that I'm currently reading to look at him from the passenger seat. We're currently parked in a parking lot of a dance studio. It's just me and him in the car for now. "Did you finish reading The Sinful Fire?" He ask me.

"No. I had to put it down," I admit as I save my page from the book I'm reading. I close it and move on the seat to sit down properly and then place the book on my lap. "It's good. I admit that. But at the same time, it's disturbing. Like really disturbing that I feel like it may actually become a movie. In some ways there is romance involved but like you said, it's toxic." I explain which seems to peeked his interest.

Eros has a few close friends that reads his things but he has told me before that out of all of them, I'm the one that really, truly finishes them and give an honest option in full detail.

"But?" Eros ask.

"If we're on the subject of romance, I can see the different type of love you have put in there. Mavis, she's the female lead. She's who Gabriel is obsessed with. It would be understandable if everything was in Mavis perspective but it isn't. Gabriel has a very horrifying childhood. It's gruesome, disturbing and just very fucked up. You have no experience with the black market so it's all fictional but still, it feels so very real while reading that even I feel like I'm there. I'm imaginative so I can picture it all and I can't help but feel so bad for Gabriel. He was just a kid that grew up in an environment no kid should. He did what he needed to survive but it's all suppose to be fictional. Everyone, even I, suspected that he would do what he can to escape and get away but he doesn't. He becomes a part of it. I mean, when I read the suicide attempts, I cried." I confess.

Some things I've read even made me lose my appetite to eat.

"Like I said, I wanted to write something real with a spark of fiction. I wanted Gabriel to be someone everyone can cheer for. The anti-grey hero or something like that. But I also wanted to write things that can happen and how things go in real life. Everyone has a past they want to escape or a situation but not everyone can escape it. There will be things in life that will try to break you." Eros goes to explaining his vision for this novel. I admire that of him.

Everyone always says he's quiet and he is but when he talks about something he's interested in, he can go on and one. I grew up with him and I know that very well.

"It's like that saying," he continues. "You can either let it break you or fight back but we're humans. We give up once we became a prey. No one fights back so that why Gabriel is messed up the way he is."

"And I see that and understand that." I nod in agreement. "I can see him losing himself but at the same time, I can't because he was just a kid. He didn't have much at his age and how can a person break when there wasn't anything that has been built to break? His version of love, empathy, care, affection, or any sort of feelings are just non-existent to him. He might as well be a psychopath or sociopath. I'm still trying to figure that ouT but psychopath can form attachment and that's what Gabriel did with Mavis.

"But it's not healthy. The attachment he has is terrifying." I confess as I'm always anxious whenever I read their interaction. "He describes well Mavis feelings. He explains her shivering, her fear, everything. He even mentions the horror in her eyes. in some ways, it feel like I'm seeing thing in her perspective. Tyler is the one who brought Mavis. Tyler is the one who brought Gabriel and hired him. Tyler is crazy in the head. He's delusional. Even Gabriel says it." Now I'm getting into it. "But the problem is the obsession they have for Mavis who is a victim. She's smart by trying to get Gabriel on her side but Gabriel knows what she's doing and he's like it. He wants her because he finds the fire in her eyes to be absolutely beautiful. He burns her because the scars turns him on. I mean, you--" I look at my brother's eyes, "--wrote a sex scene where Gabriel if fucking a girl three times younger than him while her face is on fire. It was so disturbing. His thoughts and..." I groan as picturing it in my head again makes me sick.