And in the beginning..There was you!!!

14

(As she gets back in a comfortable space she reaches out and grasps Elliot's hand. He brings it up and places a kiss on her knuckles.)

Olivia: Once we started going towards the basement I knew something was wrong. I tried to talk my way out but it did no good. He told me I had something he wanted and I was going to give it to him as he grabbed my face. He had me cuffed with my hands behind my back which made me vulnerable to whatever he had planned. When we got to the spot I saw an old dirty mattress he pushed me onto it and got on top of me. I started to fight him then he um pulled me up and pushed me up against the wall as he grind on me. I screamed for him to stop, for someone to help me but no one came. He took out the key and unlocked one of the cuffs and that's when I swung and hit him in the face. That's how he got that scar on the side of his face.

Elliot: That's my girl.

Olivia: (smirks) I wasn't going down without a fight. After I hit him I took off running to find a place to hide. I could hear him taunting me, knocking boxes over. I prayed that Fin or someone would realize I was gone and come looking but he had found me. So I tried to reason with him to trick him but next thing he hits me with his baton. I elbowed him in the nuts and ran again to the door but it was locked, so I started banging on it yelling for help. I didn't hear him come up behind me until I turned and he punched me in the face. I slid down the door as he cuffed one hand to the metal bar then he pulled my hair. He unzipped his pants and told me not to bite him.

(Olivia had to stop to take a sip and calm her breathing before she began again.)

Olivia: I was so scared that no one was coming and he was going to take what he wanted. His penis was so close to my face and I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over. But before he could, Fin shows up with his gun pointed at him. He backs up trying to lie about what happened but he is caught. When Ashley came around I knew she was the only hope I had to bring him down.

Elliot: She identified him from the mole.

Olivia: (choked up) Yes! That's when I knew I had him. Back then I knew working SVU was going to be challenging, but that was the closest I've gotten. It has left me so traumatized, that I had to seek therapy for it. I was on a case with Fin when we got a call about a domestic dispute involving two marines. One of the guys knocked me off him and I hit the wall causing my P.T.S.D to flare. I pointed my gun at the back of his head and I just zoned out. I made Fin promise not to tell Cragen or you because I didn't want you to feel like I couldn't do my job.

Elliot: I wouldn't have.

Olivia: I know.

Elliot: Is that why you didn't tell me when I asked what happened in the basement?

Olivia: Yeah, and for a second there I believed it. I was a ticking time bomb and that day was my wake-up call.

Elliot: I'm glad you told me.

(She looks up at him and smiles as a tear rolls down her cheek. He brings a hand up and tenderly wipes it before he leans forward kissing her forehead.)

Olivia: There's more that happened while you were gone but I think I should tell you about my two serious relationships.

Elliot: Oh god! I don't think I'm ready for this one.

Olivia: Why jealous?

Elliot: Hell yeah!

Olivia: No need, one is somewhere living his life, and the other is dead.

Elliot: Oh!

Olivia: Yeah, I was so messed up for a while afterward because I felt like we could have had more time.

Elliot: So did they work in law enforcement and do I know them?

Olivia: Yes and yes.

Elliot: I'm not going to like this am I?

Olivia: Nope! The first guy I was with was before and after Lewis's trial. Brian and I were together for almost two years before we decided to go our separate ways.

Elliot: Brian. Please don't tell me you and Cassidy.

Olivia: Yep, we both realized we wanted different things. I thought I was pregnant which turned out to be a false alarm that God. But he didn't want kids and I did so I wasn't about to settle for good enough.

Elliot: Pregnant? Wow.

Olivia: The next guy was IAB, turns out he was really sweet and loving on the inside. He was just an ass when it came to him doing his job. We dated for a year and a half and we were pretty serious. He took Niah and me to Paris and he even wanted to marry me.

Elliot: But?

Olivia: He retired and he wanted me to retire too and I wasn't ready. I felt like I still had more to do and we just weren't able to overcome it. Two years later he came to me and told me he had cancer, and he knew before we broke up. It got worse and spread to his brain and he didn't want to be a burden to his wife so he ate his gun.

Elliot: Oh Liv I'm so sorry to hear that.

Olivia: Thanks, I just wished we had more time because he was really a great guy and he treated Noah like his own.

Elliot: So what was his name I can think of a few from IAB.

Olivia: Tucker.

(At that she hears a noise and realizes it's coming from Elliot. She looks at him and his face is blank but with a scowl and a creased forehead. Liv bites her lip to wait for his outburst, but nothing comes.)