And in the beginning..There was you!!!

6

(It's been six months since she's seen him and everyday she misses him. She has been back in therapy about her personal life on a deeper level. She knows there's a more deeper conversation she needs to have with Elliot and she scared about it. It was a Friday night when she was called into Dr. Lindstrom office.)

Dr. Lindstrom: Olivia it is really nice to see you again.

Olivia: Hello Dr. Lindstrom, it's been a crazy six months. I'm not here to talk about work, or anything related to it. I'm here on a more personal level and I just really need to get something off my chest.

Dr. Lindstrom: Ok, is this about what we discussed almost a year ago?

Olivia: Yes, but it's way deeper than that. I haven't been completely honest about the relationship between Elliot and I.

Dr. Lindstrom: Ok, is something happening now?

Olivia: (sigh) No, I don't know. He want there to be, but I'm not ready for that but deep down I want to.

Dr. Lindstrom: How about we start from where the partnership changed into something more intimate.

Olivia: (lick her lips) I feel so guilty about out how it happened, but not about it happening. It was before he left when we were partners and we had a bad case where he killed a teenager girl. She was the same age as his youngest daughter and he was devastated. Well he showed up at my place that night and he told me how him and his wife was thinking of divorcing. He was talking about how the job and I was the only thing he had left. I knew it was wrong, but he was my partner and we both were going through it. One thing lead to another and we ended up having sex that night. After that I never heard from him again and I felt like a cheap whore. I've left him messages, called I don't know how many time, and emails.

(By this time Olivia had tears falling down her face. Dr. Lindstrom handed her some tissue.)

Dr. Lindstrom: So he basically just disappeared without a word to anyone?

Olivia: (nod her head) Yeah, I had to find out from my Captain that he put in his papers. I was devastated and a hot mess, but I blamed myself for putting myself in that position. He was gone two months and I tried to understand how could he leave me. He was the longest relationship I've had with a man and he just left. But I found out that he had left something behind. I got pregnant that night and he had just vanished without a trace. I couldn't even tell him that he was going to be a father.

Dr. Lindstrom: (looks shocked) Does anyone else know about this?

Olivia: (sniffs) Just my Captain, Fin, and Munch knows he was the father. Nick and Amanda just knew what I told them, but I know he needs to know.

Dr. Lindstrom: What happened to your baby Olivia?

Olivia: (sobs) She died from SIDS at six months old. She was the only thing I had left of him, and she was taken away from me.

Dr. Lindstrom: I'm so sorry to hear that Olivia. What was her name?

Olivia: Emory Kai Benson.

De. Lindstrom: That's a beautiful name.

Olivia: Thank you! God I miss her so much and now I have to figure out how to tell him.

Dr. Lindstrom: I think it's best if you just rip the bandage off if you plan on starting anything with him. Have you told him about Lewis yet or???

Olivia: No, he's been dealing with his own personal issues and we never really have the time.

Dr. Lindstrom: Olivia, let me ask you a question.

Olivia: Ok.

Dr. Lindstrom: Do you love Elliot?

Olivia: (smiles) The honest truth, yes I do. I would love to see where this relationship go. I want to be happy and really feel what it's like to actually be in love.

Dr. Lindstrom: But!

Olivia: I don't think I can take it if he walks away again. I don't want Noah to become too attached and he just disappears. I'm scared to full open myself up to him because if he leaves again, it will kill me.

Dr. Lindstrom: I can understand that completely. Olivia if I give you my opinion would you take it in and maybe consider it.

Olivia: Sure, depends on what it is.

Dr. Lindstrom: How about you pray about the things you deserve and open your heart. Let someone take care of you for once and let him love you and Noah. Maybe go away together just the two of you, and talk about everything with no interruptions.

Olivia: That sounds great, but when will we have the time.

Dr. Lindstrom: Make time Olivia. I'm sure you have a lot of vacation days saved up and with the last two years you've had.

Olivia: (smirks) Tell me about it.

(She thinks for a second.)

Olivia: You know what I will do it. I want to be happy and be loved, because dammit I deserve it.

Dr. Lindstrom: Good! Now don't it feels good to talk about things and not have it all bottled up.

Olivia: Yes, maybe one day I could get Elliot to come join me.

Dr. Lindstrom: I'm just one call away Olivia, do not hesitate.

Olivia: I won't. I'm glad I came here, I really needed it because I was going in circles. Now I have a lot to think about and I pray it goes as planned.

Dr. Lindstrom: That's good hear. Now I think our session here is done, and the next time I see you I want to see how happy you are. You have shed enough tears Olivia, it's time to enjoy life.

Olivia: You too Dr. Lindstrom, and I will see you soon.

(They say goodbye and Olivia set off with a little pep in her step. She makes it home early enough to relieve Lucy, and spend some time with Noah.)