The Other Woman

Little Mouse

Alan's POV

"So you are into blonde?" she asked me first thing in the morning.

I don't know why she decided to ask that to me today. It made me chuckle.

I ignored her.

"Rekha mentioned......how many?"

Jealousy could clearly seen in her voice. Guilt washed over me. I refused to look at her or she would know.

"Are you jealous, little mouse?" I finally asked her setting my eyes on hers.

I decided not to use any Italian words as she always complained about not understanding it. She asked me to let her learn it. Hell, no. I wouldn't allow it. If she learnt it all the men would try to flirt with her. Even now some tried to flirt with her using their broken english. I could only imagine what they would do once they heard her speak Italian.

"I know you will never do that to me,"

Only if you knew. 

A huge guilt washed over me. Once my torture started last month my mother gave me both men's and women's bodies. Men to kill and women to devour. The pain was too much and I found some relief in their bodies. I hated to say but I took as many women as she gave me. She was impressed and I felt disgusted. I felt like I was a monster.

"What makes you think I didn't?" I questioned her.

I knew if I told her the truth she would never look at me in the same way. She would never love me again and it terrified me. Why was I terrified when this was what I wanted?

"I know my Alan...."

"Alan is dead. This man you see standing here is Ademaro Maniero. Get that in your head,"

She gave me a hurtful look. I never talked to her in this tone and now all she got is this. I remembered her calling me smiley back then only if she knew how much work it had gotten me to be that gentle. She inspired me to be gentle every day so I could hold her close. But now all I did was hurt her. I was a bastard. She didn't deserve this. 

I could call her mistress or the word Rekha used for the final straw or my murder, sleeping story but I couldn't do it. Somehow it scared the shit out of me. She scared me. Nothing made me scared anymore, not my mother but her.

In my life, I had never slapped a woman but I did to Rekha when I found out what she said at the party. I wasn't paying attention. Shit, I was in front of them and I couldn't hear it? Who would believe me? These days my mind didn't work anymore. I would look at people but never see them or hear them. Maybe I had gotten mad.

"I want him back then," I heard her voice. 

How I loved hearing her voice. I wished I could stay here and listen to her all day.

"The moment he left Nepal he was dead. This man standing in front of you is Ademaro. Deal with it," I said and left the room. 

I couldn't do this. If I stayed longer she would break me. She would make me Alan. I couldn't go back to being Alan or it would hurt them all. I had to be Ademaro. When I walked to my office Matteo was there.

I raise my brow without saying a word.

"He still wanted to talk to you about the marriage thing,"

"I already told him there isn't any room for discussion. There's not going to be a deal,"

"But your mother......."

For a second I thought she was out of the coma. The doctor said they couldn't say if she will be back soon. The more it took time the more there was the risk of her dying.