One Good Reason [COMPLETED]

Kabanata 35: Give Up (R-18)

R-18

Kabanata 35

Give up

---

I thought after the death of my parent was the end of all. I don't want to love. I don't want to trust. The reason why I had to play all along. I date a lot of boys. I used them and I don't f*cking care what will happened to me in the present and in the near future. I do what I want to do with my life and that is to live like I don't f*cking care.

I lost, let say, my senses after the death of my parent. Ayaw ko ng mabuhay. Para saan pa? I lost my love one. I lost the one whom I know will truly love me just as I am. Sila pa talagang dalawa? Wala talagang naiwan kahit man lang isa.

Ang malas ko diba? Wala akong kapatid kahit kapatid man lang. Kinuha rin sila mama at papa. And after their death, akala ko kukunin ako ni lolo pero wala. Walang nangyari. Wala ngang lolo'ng dumating.

I don't want to expect but I was expecting for him to come dahil nga, lolo siya, anak niya ang namatay, kahit dumating man lang siya, hindi para sa akin ay okay lang basta dumating siya, pero walang lolo na nagpakita. Wala.

It it too much to ask? Walang wala ako nun. I lost my strength in the glimpse of the moment. At ang hirap pa dahil nandun ako. Saksi ako sa lahat ng pangyayari. Tinulak pa nga ako para hindi ako matulad sa kanila. Nakakatawa diba? Sana nga lang ay natuluyan na lang ako.

The happenings of my past made me today. Alam na alam ko ang mga prinsipyo ko sa buhay. Nga lang, ang mga prinsipyong iyon ay hindi tulad ng ibang tao. I drunk a lot, party a lot, doing prohibited things. Na-stistressed na nga si auntie sa akin eh. Kaya nga lang, ayaw ko pang tumigil.

I lost myself. I lost it dahil hindi naman ako ganito dati. I used to be very good girl. Iyong parang anghel na laging sumusunod sa magulang. Iyong kapag titingnan, alam mong walang kasalanan. Ganun ako dati. I lost it until... today.

Hindi ko mapaliwanag. Is it true that only love could heal your wounded hearts? I was truly wounded but it drift apart when I met him.

I am in love.

Seeing him sleeping next to me gives me the reason to live again like yesterday. He gives me the reason to be good again. I break him but he comes back to me because he loves me. He told me that he's in love to me and I, also in love to him.

Ang bilis ng oras. After 6 months of being in love to him, I know he's the one. Sumasayaw kami sa gitna ng ulan. Nagtatampisaw sa kadagatan. He knows now how to ride the boat. Kaya, paminsan minsan ito ang lagi naming ginagawa pag walang pasok. Minsan umaaligid si Sarah pero parang nawawala lahat ng inis ko sa kanya because Yvan assured me that I'm the only one.

"Ah, Yvan!" He sucked my breast and explored his hands downwards. I was wet. I touched his hair and pulled it when I feel the intensed of him, sucking my breast and fingers trying to enter to my center.

We enjoy it very much. The pleasure and pain we've shared with each other.

"Oh, that's good. Baby, faster," I moaned. Hindi ko na masyadong narerecognized ang boses ko. I like him to enter. And in the moment, his two fingers entered inside me. White liquids released. He is kissing me, my lips, my nose, down to my neck. It's such a good feeling. It's a kind of pleasure I can't be able to resist. Now, I understand why sex is in demand to romantic relationship. It's feels so good. It feels like heaven. Araw - araw nakakatikim ako ng langit dahil halos araw-araw nagagawa namin ito.