The Original Ducksekeeter

Chapter 14: The Wonderful World of Ducksney

Jiminy was in complete shock about what he was witnessing. The ducks had successfully gotten the Beast and Belle together and had broken the Beast's curse. In a flash he sent the ducks away from the Beast's castle and back into Mathmagic Land.
"So what was it that you said," Daisy thought for a second, "you four are hopeless, you will never pass what it means to understand Disney," Daisy restated with a grin.
"I'm just thinking," Ludwig started laughing, "but I believe that we may have passed that one!"
"YOU FUCKING LOSER!" Daisy screamed at Jiminy.
The ducks all fell to the floor laughing, while Jiminy was still trying to process what was happening.
"So are we the mascots now or what?!" Donald asked.
"I THINK WE FUCKING ARE!" Daisy screamed.
Jiminy lit up a cigarette to calm himself down and once he began to speak.
"In a word, I'm bewildered!"
"Why does he sound like a woke arts school student?" Daisy whispered to Donald.
"Bewildered because I had lost all hope, all hope, with you four ducks... all hope..."
"Get on with it!" Daisy yelled.
"Daisy shut the fuck up he's talking!" Yelled Mortimer.
"Too much talking!" Ludwig stated.
Donald and Mortimer taped Daisy and Ludwig's beaks shut, while Jiminy kept on talking.
"But after seeing what the four of you have done with Belle and the Beast I feel as if my thoughts about you are wrong, maybe you do have what it takes to be the mascots of Disney!"
The ducks all jumped up and cheered at the sound of Ludwig's words.
"However," Ludwig began.
"BITCH!" Daisy yelled in a muffled voice under the tape.
"I still do have some concern surrounding the four of you," Jiminy stated.
"I'm what fucking way!" Ludwig yelled, ripping the tape off of his beak.
"Well out of the four Disney classics I have sent you back to fix, you still have only successfully fixed one, the others did not go very well if you recall," Jiminy explained.
"So what do you want us to do?" Ludwig asked.
"Well I am going to send you all to more movies, because I have to make sure that you four didn't just get lucky!"
"BUT BITCH I WANT TO BE THE MASCOT NOW!" Daisy yelled.
"Then successfully make through more than just one Disney movie!" Jiminy yelled.
"But..."
"If we are making progress then we are not going to fuck it up!" Mortimer spit at Daisy.
"Okay fine, we'll go through more movies," Daisy said through gritted teeth.
"Great, you four can start going through them tomorrow, through the Disney Vault!" Jiminy giggled as he said the last part of the sentence, and then disappeared.
"BITCH THERE IS NO TOMORROW IN MATHMAGIC LAND!" Daisy yelled.
"He pisses me off so damn much I mean why can't we just already be the mascots, I mean we can't top perfection!" Ludwig stomped.
"Well we are going to have to!" Donald said.
"He's such a retard though, I mean he talks like he is better than everyone else, he reminds me of all the know it all teacher pets from my school!" Daisy stated.
"And why does he always use his umbrella like it's a cane or something, I mean it just makes him look so stupid!" Ludwig laughed.
"Bewildered, haha, bitch who is he trying to impress!"
"Well he has to use big fancy words, he has nothing else going for him in life!"
"I am going to have to go to the hospital when I'm through with his bullshit because my ears are straight up bleeding from his dumbass voice, it's like a mix between Tom Hanks and a Teletubby or something I don't know it's hard to describe but it pisses my ass off!"
"And then his ass gets to sing the theme song to Disney, WHAN YOUUU WASHH UPAN AH STARE!"
"If I were Pinocchio, the first thing I would do after becoming human would be to kill myself just because Jiminy is my only true friend!"
"The biggest lie in the Pinocchio movie was giving kids the thought that it was Pinocchio who had the big nose, because bitch you could see Jiminy hooked walnut of a nose from the next town over!"
"Okay we get it Jiminy is ugly!" Donald yelled.
"Damn Donald can't you have any fun!" Ludwig scolded.
"We were just teasing him a little bit," explained Daisy.
"Well I am trying to go to sleep, because even if there is no tomorrow in Mathmagic Land I still am exhausted!"
"How about you shoot him again!" Daisy laughed.
"Jiminy isn't that bad!" Mortimer said.
"Then go fuck him, I'm sure he'd be glad to!" Daisy continued to laugh.
"At least we are getting another chance and after our success last time I just know that we can repeat it again, and if we just repeat and repeat and repeat then before we know it Mickey and Minnie will be dead!"
"Good idea, so what was it that we did last time that made it go well?" Ludwig asked.
"We didn't do anything racist for a start," Donald said.
"Or kill any innocent people," Ludwig added.
"Or impersonating people and taking nudes!" Daisy smiled.
"Well the best thing is to make sure the people are happy, the Beast and Belle were truly happy together and before we set them up by having him save her they weren't happy together, but Snow White wasn't happy with what we did and so we failed and the white people and Native Americans weren't happy with what we did and so we failed, but if we keep everything positive then everything is perfect!" Mortimer explained.
"You're starting to sound like more of a know it all then Jiminy!" Daisy laughed.
"It's the truth though!"
"I know it is, and with that let's go to bed, I can already feel the positive energy in my veins that I am going to bring out tomorrow and then later when I'm the mascot of Disney after those mice are butchered in my hands, GOD I LOVE THOSE POSITIVE THOUGHTS!" Daisy drifted off into sleep and had her very positive Magical Time again, with the other three ducks closing their eyes and going to sleep right after her.
A few hours later the ducks were awoken by Daisy jumping up, still half asleep, screaming, "La la lay, it's the most magical time today, so many songs to sing and songs to play, and I know it's so real and I know it's so true, THAT I'M GUTTING YOU!"
"Daisy be quiet, I was having a wet dream!" Donald scolded.
"Well I better have been the leading lady!" Daisy yelled.
She wasn't.
"GOOD MORNING!" Jiminy popped out of thin air and screamed.
"Bruh shut up!" Daisy bitched.
"Okay you all have some big things to accomplish," Jiminy began.
"I'm ready faggot," Ludwig smiled.
"Okay," Jiminy sighed, "I am going to send you to the Frozen world and you all are going to save Anna from a frozen heart!"
"Oh boy I am going to fuck Elsa so hard!" Ludwig giggled.
"Okay this is why I am still a bit concerned!" Jiminy shivered.
"You don't have to be, send us there!" Donald said reassuringly.
With a little spin the ducks were sent to a freezing cold landscape.
"Bitch it feels like we're back in Tundratown!" Donald complained.
"Well speaking of that, I thankfully kept the jackets we bought in my bag!" Ludwig announced.
The ducks put their winter gear on and started their mission.
"How do we stop a frozen heart?" Asked Mortimer.
"In the movie, they fix the frozen heart by having an act of true love done to Veronica Mars!" Daisy explained.
"Okay well who is her boo?" Asked Ludwig.
"You and her are both white so nobody in this situation has got a boo," Daisy said, "anyway her act of true love comes from her sister!"
"Bitch what freaky incest shit is Jiminy having us deal with!" Ludwig screamed.
"It is romantic love, it's just natural love!" Donald explained.
"Yeah Ludwig, not everything is sex related!" Daisy said, while rubbing Donald's thighs.
The Ducks entered Arendelle and broke their asses into the castle. There were no guards because they all died of frostbite brought on by Elsa's ice powers. The ducks began running through the castle, trying to see if Anna was there or not. However their running had to be postponed because the floor began to turn to ice and the walls began to get icy as well. The ducks realized that the castle was turning into what was essentially an ice sculpture.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Ludwig yelled.
The ducks felt like it was getting dangerous in the castle and also that there wasn't really anybody in it, so they decided to leave. They had to slowly walk through the castle because at this point it had become extremely slippery and after a while they all had to resort to crawling to get through the castle. As they were about at the exit Ludwig stopped moving.
"Ludwig what are you doing, I want to get out of here!" Donald yelled.
"I hear something!"
"What?" Asked Mortimer
"A woman yelling!"
"It's probably just your perverted imagination!" Daisy laughed.
"Wait, I hear it too!" Donald stated.
"Donald if you have a perverted imagination as well then I'm dumping you!" Daisy explained.
"Daisy, stop talking!" Ludwig whispered.
"LUDWIG!"
"SHH"
"Jesus Christ, fine!"
The ducks were all silent and now could also all hear that a woman was in fact yelling.
"TOLD YOU!" Ludwig screamed.
"Whatever, you're still a fucking degenerate!"
The ducks followed the sound of the woman yelling downstairs into what looked to be the dungeons of the castle, but that was hard to tell because the whole castle was essentially just a block of ice at this point. However the ducks did find out that it was a dungeon when they finally found that the woman who was yelling was Elsa who was chained to a wall, in chains that were now ice.
"Speaking of me being a degenerate," Ludwig said, walking over to Elsa and unbuttoning his clothes.
Daisy shoved Ludwig aside and walked to Elsa.
"Why are you yelling!?" Daisy asked.
"Because it's hard to use my ice powers while strapped into a chain!" Elsa explained, "also who the hell are you!"
"We're here to help your sister heal her frozen heart!" Mortimer stated. He
"BITCH WHAT, MY SISTER HAS A FROZEN HEART, I HOPE I DIDN'T GIVE THAT TO HER!"
"What, do you know anyone else with ice powers!?" Laughed Ludwig.
"J(elsa)ack Frost!" Daisy giggled.
"She'll be dead in a second!" Elsa screamed.
"You look like Daenerys!" Ludwig wiggled.
"Well it's good we found you, because an act of true love is what fixes a frozen heart and you can give it to her!" Daisy said.
"Still sounds a bit dirty to me!" Ludwig stated.
"Oh shit I have to hurry and get to her, I'm already in a hurry because in a plot twist that fucker Hans is trying to kill her, that's why I was trying to turn these chains to ice, to make it easier for me to break them off and get the fuck out, but I guess I also ended up freezing the whole castle!"
"Well we can break the chain of you now!" Donald said, slamming his fist against the ice and then screaming because it hurt his little bones, "BITCH THAT ICE IS HARD!"
"I can manage!" Elsa said in her most feministy, anti-mansplaining tone and then ripping her arms straight out of the ice, "NOW LET'S GO SO I CAN MAKE LOVE WITH MY SISTER!"
"Okay y'all are just trying to rile me up at this point!" Ludwig said.
The ducks and Elsa ran out of the castle, all five of them slipping twenty times, and then ran out into the main section of Arendelle. The entire kingdom was completely abandoned, because everyone had evacuated after Elsa made it too damn cold. This was a good sign for the footprints that lead out into the woods.
"This could be her!" Elsa stated.
And they were, the ducks and Elsa found Anna sitting on a rock. Her skin was blue and looked like it was made of ice. Her hair was whiter than Elsa and sexy ass Daenerys Targaryen's combined. She also looked like she could barely breathe, and was coughing terribly on the floor.
"It doesn't look much worse from when I have a cold," said Daisy.
"OH MY GOD ANNA I MUST SAVE YOU!" Elsa screamed.
"OH NO YOU WON'T!"
It was Hans and he began running down a hill to catch up to Anna and Elsa.
"Oh no you don't!" Daisy screamed, before throwing snowballs at Han's foot, causing him to trip and tumble down the hill where he landed on his neck at the end, snapping and breaking it thus killing him.
"GO LOVE YOUR SISTER!" Ludwig screamed.
Elsa ran over to Anna just before it was too late, embraced her (which really fucked things up more because her body has fucking snow powers) and said, "I LOVE YOU!" Anna's icy skin and white hair changed back to its normal white girl ginger Norwegian self and the act of love was also so powerful that all of the snow on the ground melted and Arendelle was back to normal. The residents all returned as their dramatic asses didn't have to fear the chilly anymore. The final flash that the ducks then witnessed was the one that brought them back to Mathmagic Land where Jiminy was staring at them with a look of excitement.
"You four did it again!" Jiminy yelled.
"Well don't act so surprised!" Daisy giggled.
"No offense but I suppose I am a little bit!"
"Offense taken but that's okay fuck face," smiled Ludwig.
"Next, I am going to send the four of you to the Fox and the Hound world and get them to become friends again!" Jiminy explained.
"Bitch I am scared to death of dogs after Mickey trained Pluto to attack me every time I wore an outfit he didn't like!" Daisy explained.
"Daisy, you'll be fine!" Donald told her.
"Besides, you aren't scared of Goofy!" Stated Ludwig.
"I actually am scared of Goofy, but that's for other reasons!"
"Wait a second, if Goofy and Pluto are both dogs..."
"Shut up Donald you aren't being clever," Daisy yelled, "okay Jiminy bring us there!"
Jiminy spun the world around before the ducks all landed in a forest that had loud barking echoing throughout it. The four of them began looking around before suddenly a giant fucking hound dog jumped on top of Daisy, sending both of them tumbling off a hill. As they fell down the hill, Daisy's screams were mistaken for attempts at violence so the dog began biting and clawing at her, at which point taking a big bite out of her flesh which he then swallowed. When they finally stopped tumbling, he scratched her across the face twelve times on each cheek before running off again.
"THAT MOTHER FUCKER JUST MURDERED ME!" Daisy screamed, "LUDWIG HEAL ME!"
After her wounds were healed, Daisy jumped up and began to throw a tantrum.
"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT FUCKING DOG, WHY THE FUCK DID HE FUCKING ATTACK ME LIKE FUCKING THAT!"
"BEFUCKINGCAUSE FUCKING HE'S FUCKING A FUCKING HUNTING FUCKING HOUND FUCKING DOG FUCKING!" Ludwig laughed.
"He's not just any hunting hound dog, he's Copper from the movie!" Donald stated.
"How do you even know his name?!" Daisy screamed, "and why do we even have to be in this movie, it's one of those quote on quote dark age movies, also known as the studio sucked after that anti semite froze himself!"
"Well maybe fixing this one is even more important than some of the more classic movies," Donald stated.
"In fact I've always found this movie very underrated!" Ludwig smiled.
"Oh shut up!" Daisy yelled at Ludwig.
"I feel like I haven't talked in this chapter for a while," said Mortimer.
"Look, we have to get that hound dog Copper to reconcile with his childhood best friend Tod (Tod from the Fox and the Hound is conically named Tod, even though I feel like it should be Todd but whatever), who is the fox!" Donald stated.
"That fucker is friends with a fox?!" Ludwig asked all confused, "but a hound dog and a fox don't sound right together!"
"LUDWIG I SWEAR TO GOD THAT IS THE POINT OF THE DAMN MOVIE!" Daisy screamed, "OKAY LETS JUST GET THOSE TWO TO RECONCILE AND FUCK!"
"They're just friends!" Donald stated.
"Well this is one of the underrated Disney movies, I thought the Hot Topic crowd that champions those movies would prefer that!"
The ducks followed Copper's footprints and excessive barking up to where they could see him and Tod fighting, while Tod's furry sex toy of a girlfriend Vixie was watching from afar.
"OH MY GOD THEIR FIGHTING!" Ludwig screamed.
"Yes and now we have to stop them and make them besties again," Daisy said, "but I just don't know how!"
"I have an idea," Mortimer said.
"Finally!" Daisy yelled.
"If the two of them are fighting because Copper thinks he needs to hunt Tod I wonder what he'd do if someone actually wanted to kill him, because clearly Copper is letting him survive, I mean those two have been going at it for like ten minutes, but Copper already almost killed Daisy in a like twenty seconds!" Mortimer stated, as Daisy rolled her eyes bitchily, "LUDWIG PULL OUT YOUR GUNS!"
The ducks each got a gun and began chasing Tod down. Tod ran as fast as he could as the ducks shot at him. Well actually only three of the ducks were shooting, because Ludwig was using his device to heal Tod and make sure he didn't die since the other three ducks shot him so many times while chasing him a Sandy Hook Victim (I'm not finishing that one). Copper, as according to plan, started to feel conflicted. His master had told him to kill Tod, but now he was beginning to remember the times when they were the best of friends having so much fun together and weren't even aware that they were such a funny pair. It was at this point that Copper decided to stop the ducks from hunting Tod down. He chased them down, and before any of the ducks could shoot Tod one more time, mauled them all to the ground. That's actually a lie he only mauled Daisy down, as Ludwig also made a great plan to pour Rachel Ray Nutrish in Daisy's back pocket as a Plan B to lure him off shooting Tod didn't work.
"Oh Tod," Copper smiled after murdering Daisy.
"THEY FUCKING TALK?!" Screamed Ludwig.
"Let's be friends again!"
"THAT FUCKING SUCKED!" Daisy screamed after returning to Mathmagic Land.
"I beg to differ!" Jiminy smiled, "the four of you are completely on it, at this rate I just know that I will make you all the new mascots, I'll see you four tomorrow for more missions!"
Jiminy poofed away, while the other four ducks sat down and began to camp out for the night.
"Next time can we not have horrible things happen at my expense to succeed in what we're trying to accomplish!" Daisy yelled.
"I'm not making any promises!" Ludwig smiled.
"How many more next times are there going to be anyway, I mean Jiminy is starting to drive me crazy with all of these missions!" Donald stated.
"But we need to be the perfect mascots of Disney!" Daisy said in an imitation of Jiminy's stupid voice.
"Well at least when it's done we can murder those mice!" Donald stated.
"Thank god, but it's taking too long I mean I want them dead now!"
"Now is that how a Disney mascot would talk?" Asked Mortimer while laughing.
"Yes it is, because as a mascot it is my responsibility to want to murder evil creatures like Mickey and Minnie Mouse!"
Eventually Ludwig and Mortimer went to sleep, and Donald and Daisy took this time to fuck, quietly of course because Ludwig and Mortimer were sleeping.
"It really is our responsibility baby," Daisy said while kissing Donald passionately.
"We are close, I can taste their blood already!" Donald giggled.
"God, it feels like a trillion years since that dumbass Masquerade Ball," Daisy laughed.
"Well that's probably because it has been a trillion years, it is taking us a while!"
"Well the destination of this journey is worth it, I actually am excited to become the mascots of Disney!"
"Me too!" Donald grinned.
"I'm happy that everything at the Masquerade Ball happened, it's led us to here after all!"
"That ball was so retarded!"
"So fucking retarded!"
"Minnie singing to her dumbass dead mom!"
"Goofy throwing her in the fire was a nice touch too!" Daisy laughed.
"But that's not even the most retarded thing they've done, remember when there was that camping trip and Minnie acted so scared after you told that ghost story!"
"The one I was jokingly reading from a Berenstain Bears book before I got to the actual story I was going to tell!" Daisy remembered.
"She acted so over dramatic and talked about how scary it was!"
"And pretended like she was going to slit her wrists!"
"She wasn't going to get very far considering that she was threatening to slit her wrists with the stem of an apple!"
"And she kept on saying, 'I'm gonna do it', 'I'm gonna do it'!"
"And then some homeless person living in the woods yelled, 'bitch just do it or I'll do it for you', it's too bad Mickey killed him afterwards!"
Daisy laughed and said, "that's okay we can finish what he said he would start!"
The two laughed and then Daisy brought up, "THAT SKIING TRIP!"
"Oh shit!"
"Mickey had the owner of that ski resort murdered after skipping to the expert slope and feeling like it 'too difficult' that fucking dumbass!"
"He also had the owner murdered for refusing to put up Mickey Mouse shaped wreaths around the resort like the other hotels he stayed at were stupid enough to be forced to do!"
"That fucking egotistical little shit and little loser Scientologist crybaby dead mom cunt slut bitch of a wife!"
"Egotistical little shit and little loser Scientologist crybaby dead mom cunt slut bitch of a wife who we are going to butcher!"
"I can't wait!"
"Wait holy shit remember that time we were at the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse sneak preview with a bunch of those spoiled children whose rich parents allowed them to attend, and Minnie wouldn't stop complaining about how they weren't filming her ass from the right angle!"
Daisy began laughing hysterically.
"And how she went on about making sure there was a camel toe only for them not to get a closeup of it!"
"And then one of the kids in the audience was smart and told her to shut the fuck up by throwing that baseball at her foot!"
Daisy started laughing hysterically, and then began to penetrate with Donald again.
"SHE JUST YELLED, OH MICKEY IT HURTS!"
Donald began slowly fucking her and also imitated Minnie at the same time, "I THINK ALL OF MY TOES HAVE BEEN BROKEN TWICE!"
"AND THEN THE BALL RICOCHETED FROM MINNIE'S FOOT TO MICKEY AND THE DRAMA QUEEN BEGAN COMPLAINING TOO!"
"MINNIE I AM HURT TOO, MEDIC TAKE THE TWO OF US TO HOSPICE IMMEDIATELY!"
Donald pushed his cock further up Daisy's clit as the two of them both screamed, Ludwig and Mortimer having to shove their fingers so far up their ears that they could feel their brain just so they wouldn't hear Donald and Daisy.
"MICKEY IT HURTS!" Daisy moaned.
"I KNOW, I KNOW IT DOES!"
"MINNIE I CAN'T TAKE IT!"
"AAAHHHH!"
"MY FUCKING FOOT, MY FUCKING BODY!"
"IT HURTS IT IS EXCRUCIATING!"
"WE ARE DYING MICKEY, MINNIE, MICKEY, MINNIE, MINNIE BABY I CAN FUCKING FEEL IT WE ARE DYING!"
"HOLY SHIT, WE ARE GONE!"
"WE ARE FUCKING GONE AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
After they finished they laid across the ground holding hands, before softly saying.
"But we really will be great mascots Donald!"
"I know it."
The next morning Donald and Daisy were still giggling from their conversation the night before, while Ludwig and Mortimer were sitting uncomfortably. Jiminy floated down in his stupid little entrance with his umbrella.
"Okay ducks are we ready for our missions today!"
"You talk about missions more than every church in Utah in a year combined!" Daisy laughed.
"Well the four of you have been doing such a good job with them that I just am excited, and therefore I am ready for you all to make every Disney movie perfect!"
As time went on the four ducks ended up going through every Disney project and made each of them as perfect as they could make them to be. They went to Pinocchio's world and had to play the part of the narcissist Jiminy and be Pinocchio's conscience. They ended up stopping him from going to Pleasure Island to pleasure himself or something and even bashed his head into the big whale which killed him and then allowed him to become a real boy. They begrudgingly helped Mickey in finding his Sorcerer Hat, but thankfully since this Mickey was acting he didn't act like his unbearable self, but instead looked creepy from how nice he was being. They got Dumbo drunk and Daisy, who was also hammered, pretended like she was flying which gave Dumbo the idea to fly with his ears. Ludwig shot the man who shot Bambi's mom to give him a taste of his own medicine. They helped Goofy take a picture with a giant horse while he was smoking a cigarette. Helped Donald to find a birthday present and also forced Donald to sing in a band known as the Three Caballeros, who aren't actually gay despite what they say in their song. They stopped the Opera Singing Whale from getting shot by a harpoon gun. Donald stopped another version of himself from killing and eating a cow. They helped Peco Bill's girlfriend Slue Foot Sue from bouncing to her death with Ludwig building a trampoline for him to bounce up and catch her. Mortimer chopped the legs off the Headless Horseman. They helped the Fairy Godmother in making a dress for Cinderella after her step sisters ruined her OG one. They helped Alice to cheat in her game of Croquet against the Queen of Hearts. They helped to stop Captain Hook and save Macaulay Culkin and the other Lost Boys at Neverland. They took some cooking lessons and made spaghetti for Lady and the Tramp, which Donald and Daisy also reenacted next to them. Ludwig killed Maleficent, and secretly the Prince without Jiminy finding out, and made out with Sleeping Beauty. They skinned Cruella de Ville and wore it in front of her to give her a taste of her own medicine. They helped to teach King Arthur magic, such as having two different voices. They convinced Mowgli that he was a fucking weirdo for hanging out with talking animals and convinced him to run off with some indian girl. They shot the racist stereotypes in the Aristocats. They stole from the rich and gave to the poor alongside Robin Hood. Helped find a new tail for Eeyore the Suicidal Whore. Helped to rescue that little girl and the boy from Australia, in that movie that pretends it is part of the Disney Renaissance. Convinced people in 1985 to go see the Black Cauldron instead of Back to the Future or just staying home and watching the Golden Girls with the actual princess Bea Arthur. Helped solve the mystery in the Great Mouse Detective. Saved the little girl from Oliver and Company. Helped the brat Judge Ariel get a tail. Gave Aladdin a fourth wish which was for Robin Williams to not kill himself so that Disney could use his voice for some extra money. Attempted to make the tone of Hunchback of Notre Dame to make sense. Sang some Gospel Music about Hercules and convinced Ludwig not to wear blackface. Got Shang to come out as gay and make Mulan dress back up as a man for his pleasure. Got Tarzan to go ape shit on the chick from Good Will Hunting. Donald and Daisy went on Noah's Ark because they are religious and Steve Martin was there. Ripped the vocal cords out of Dinosaurs. Killed David Spade and John Goodman because they are not the true stars of that movie. Helped to find a lost city which was even harder then finding someone who went to see Atlantis. Stopped Lilo & Stitch from recreating 9/11. Made Treasure Planet make sense by taking it out of space. Stopped River Phoenix from dying in a waterfall. Tweeted with Roseanne. Made Zack Braff's mean dad less abusive. Made Goob realize he isn't a loser. Sang songs with Miley Cyrus. Changed the movie so that the first Black Princess isn't a frog the whole time. Gave Rapunzel a haircut that looked a hell of a lot better than the one Shazam gave her. Helped Eeyore the Suicidal Whore find another tail. Helped Sarah Silverman stop glitching. Got rid of every needle in existence so Baymax wouldn't pop. Helped Maui lose weight because Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was from Honolulu not Maui. Killed Akwafina. Got Bruno to be talked about again by ditching that cunty Grandma. Killed Conservative people so Strange World made a billion dollars, with its beautiful inclusivity of having gay mixed kids and a disabled dog. And had a beautiful one hundred year anniversary with the girl from Wish and the seven dwarf friends of hers. At the end of it the ducks collapsed onto the floor all tired.
Daisy rolled onto Donald for another round of them fucking, while Mortimer and Ludwig quickly evacuated. As the two got into each other, Daisy whispered seductively.
"Who are the best fucking mascots of Disney?"
Donald promptly answered, "we are, you sexy fucked up bitch!"