The Original Ducksekeeter

Chapter 32: Big Summer Blowout

The audience was in complete shock. Some people were screaming, some people were cheering, and Donald and Daisy both looked like they couldn't even breathe. Daisy turned around to see that Daffy and other Looney Tunes characters were in the projection booths playing the tape. Security tried to get them out but all of them are fucking crazy and the security guards were no match for them. She wanted to get up but she had never felt so awkward and didn't know what to do. Daisy tried to start laughing to get people thinking that this was a joke but nobody seemed to believe it.
"Okay you guys, isn't this funny..." Daisy tried until suddenly, "OH MY FUCKING GOD!"
"OW WHAT THE FUCK!"
Donald and Daisy had put their beach blanket right on a fire ant hill and fire ants were crawling up their pants as they spoke. Donald and Daisy stood up and began screaming and jumping around and were staring at them silently as they freaked out.
"IT IS BITING MY VAGINA, I THINK SOME ARE UP MY VAGINA, CAN SOMEONE HELP ME, BUT DON'T BE SILENT THIS IS FUNNY, IT IS FUNNY, OW!"
Donald and Daisy then fell on top of a little girl who then got fire ants on her and began screaming.
"YOU HURT MY DAUGHTER!" A hot dad yelled.
"NO PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN TO, EVERYONE JUST STOP, STOP LOOKING AT ME FOR FIVE MINUTES!"
Donald then ran off and Daisy followed him as they went into their car and drove back home.
"THIS IS THE BEST DISNEY MOVIE EVER!" Goofy stated after the cumshot that sent Daisy through the wall.
The car ride home as silent as fuck outside of the two of them screaming over the fire ants that were still on them. Okay so technically it wasn't silent but Donald and Daisy weren't talking to each other. When they got home they ran to the back yard and sprayed themselves with a hose to get the remaining ants off of them before coming inside. They then sat on the couch and stared at each other until Daisy blinked.
"You win!" Daisy giggled.
"I AM DIVORCING YOUR ASS!"
"That's not necessary!"
"THAT WAS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY FUCKING LIFE, EVERYONE STARRING AT US SILENT AND AWKWARD AND THEN AT THE VIDEO OF YOU FUCKING DAFFY, FUCKING DAFFY, I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM EVEN FUCKING SAYING THAT, AND THEN YOU HAVE TO BE ALL FUCKING STUPID LAUGHING AND SHIT LIKE THIS IS FUNNY, AND THEN FUCKING FIRE ANTS ARE CRAWLING UP YOU AND I AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS HOW THEY ARE GOING INTO YOUR VAGINA!"
"I think you should just take a breath and we can talk about this later!"
"NO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
"OKAY FINE BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT IT REALLY IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL!"
"YOU FUCKED DAFFY!"
"That video is fake!"
"NO IT'S NOT, YOU FUCKED DAFFY!"
"Okay fine the video is real, I will admit that that is really true, but does it really count with a dildo!"
"HOLY SHIT WAS THAT VIDEO FROM THAT NIGHT!"
"It was filmed in the daytime!"
"I was out doing an interview for the Lion King, I came home and you were naked on the lawn and you wouldn't let me in the house, then that night you knocked me out with the same dildo after I saw Daffy fall through the fucking ceiling!"
"That was sleep paralysis!"
"No it fucking wasn't you cunt!" Donald began hyperventilating before running to take some shots of whiskey, "I can't take this, I cannot fucking take this, and I cant believe how fucking retarded I am, I mean I felt like something was off but I just fucking accepted it!"
"Nothing was off!"
"Nothing was off?!"
"Yeah!"
"Well something clearly was off if your slut ass slept with Daffy!"
"Oh my God Donald listen I am so sorry!"
"BITCH YOU ARE ONLY SORRY BECAUSE YOU GOT CAUGHT!"
"NO I'M NOT!"
"SO YOU AREN'T SORRY?!"
"NO I AM DONALD, DON'T TWIST MY WORDS AROUND!"
"I CAN DO WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT WITH YOUR WORDS!" Donald then lit up some cigarettes, "THAT WAS A FUCKING YEAR AGO!"
"Yes it was!"
"So what's gone on in between those years?!"
"Nothing?!"
"I don't believe you!"
"That's not my fault!"
"Yes it is your fault, who could fucking believe you, you fucking cheated on me, bitch I will set you up to a fucking lie detector test if I have to!"
"Then I guess I can't say fucking anything because no matter what you won't believe me!"
"Trust me I'll know when you are telling the truth!"
"Only if it is what you want to believe!"
"No, it's just that it would be fucking obvious!"
"So you don't believe that nothing happened between me and Daffy in the past year?!"
"No!"
"So you do believe?!"
"What?!"
"Do you believe in God because God believes me?!"
"Daisy I'm not fucking retarded, I mean I am retarded for not realizing that you had an affair but I won't be retarded anymore!"
"Donald you are so confusing, one minute you aren't retarded the next minutes you are, just fucking pick!"
"DAISY SHUT UP, YOU HAVE BEEN FUCKING DAFFY FOR THE PAST YEAR!"
"YOU HAVE NO PROOF OF THAT!"
Donald ran up and grabbed Daisy's cellphone.
"THAT IS MINE GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!"
Donald ran into another room and locked the door. He then went to see Daisy's text messages and saw a bunch of sweet texts with Daffy going back to the year before.
"YOU HAVE BEEN DATING HIM, YOU HAVEN'T JUST FUCKED HIM, YOU WERE DATING HIM!"
"I WAS NOT DATING HIM!"
"YES YOU WERE!"
"NO I WAS NOT, I WAS NOT DATING DAFFY, THAT IS SO STUPID WHY WOULD I DATE DAFFY, HE IS SO GROSS!"
"WELL YOU STILL FUCKED HIM, DIDN'T YOU?!"
"OKAY FINE, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN!"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
"THEN HOW CAN YOU BE MADE AT ME!"
"OH WELL THAT'S EASY, YOU FUCKED DAFFY AND HAVE BEEN GOING OUT WITH HIM FOR THE PAST YEAR, OH MY GOD I AM SO FUCKING STUPID, HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT REALIZE YOU WERE DOING THIS SHIT, YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE HANGING OUT WITH CLARABELLE THAT'S WHAT IT IS, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD BECAUSE YOU USUALLY DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE BEING AROUND CLARABELLE BUT YOU WEREN'T FUCKING WITH CLARABELLE YOU WERE WITH YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND DAFFY DUCK!"
"DONALD HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND WE ARE NOT REALLY DATING!"
"YES YOU ARE, STOP MAKING ME LOOK STUPID, I ALREADY FEEL STUPID ENOUGH!"
"DONALD SHUT YOUR ASS UP I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING, AND I REALLY WAS HANGING AROUND CLARABELLE!"
"Well let me just call her up!"
"NO?!"
"Oh what is it, do you not want me to call her?"
"Well I think it's just rude!"
"You think it's rude to fucking call someone?!"
"She could be busy!"
"I doubt it!"
Donald called her.
"That was such a great movie!" Clarabelle said through the phone.
"How often has Daisy been around you!"
"I haven't spoken to Daisy privately since we wrote Suck My Cliter!"
"Okay thanks!"
"Can you believe Daisy has cheated on you?!"
"Bye!"
"WITH DAFFY DUCK!"
"OKAY BYE!"
Donald hung up.
"That proves nothing, she's a stoner, she probably can't even remember what happened to her yesterday, a day we hung out!"
"SHUT UP!"
"NO!"
"SHUT UP!"
"I AM TELLING THE TRUTH!"
"SHUT UP!"
"OKAY FINE, FUCK IT, I HAVE BEEN WITH DAFFY FOR THE PAST YEAR!"
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!"
"BUT I CAN EXPLAIN, WE REALLY WEREN'T DATING!"
"YES YOU WERE!"
"NO WE WEREN'T, I CAN EXPLAIN THE WHOLE THING, AND YOU WON'T FORGIVE ME BUT I CAN AT LEAST EXPLAIN!"
"OKAY FINE WHAT IS IT!"
"I pretended to date Daffy!"
"YOU ARE FUCKING LYING!"
"NO I AM NOT DONALD!"
Donald could tell there was some honesty there and asked, "WHY?!"
"So I could get out of something!"
"What, was he threatening to kill you or some bullshit!"
"He was blackmailing me!"
"With what?!"
"With the video!"
"Oh so you shot the video before you pretended to date Daffy!"
"Okay well yes!"
"Why did you fuck him in the first place!"
"Well that is a longer story!"
"I've got time!"
"Well let me just finish up what I was saying about the dating thing, this past year Daffy was blackmailing me and I went along with it, I dated him, and I fucking hated it, every fucking second of it!"
"You seemed pretty happy in the texts!"
"Well I was faking it!"
"So that was a part of the blackmailing you also had to fake it?!"
"No, I was faking it so that I could break up with him at some point in the future, I thought that if I dated him for a year and showed him all this love and affection that he wouldn't give would have no hard feelings about us breaking up and that he would just be happy that it lasted, I really did think he had become obsessed with me and that he wouldn't mind me dumping him, I just wanted it all to end, without you or anyone else finding out, because I really didn't love him at all, and when I broke up with him I thought he wasn't going to care, but apparently he did!"
"Okay fine!"
"So you believe me!"
"I don't think I'll ever fully believe you about anything anymore but at least that sounds more realistic than some other shit you've pulled out of your ass tonight, but now let's go to the next thing!"
"What's the next thing you know everything now!"
"No that's just one thing, you still haven't said why you fucked him in the first place!"
"Okay well first of all I just wanna say it was an impulsive decision, I didn't plan it in advance or something!"
"Oh well that's great to know!" Donald laughed.
"What happened is that when you left to go for that interview, Daffy came to the house to return the earrings, remember the ones I lost at the Beauty and the Beast Musical premiere!"
"Why would he have them?!"
"Well that goes back to another thing!"
"Okay fine so he brings you the earrings and then you decided just randomly that you were gonna fuck him?!"
"Yes, I mean no, I mean there was a little more to it!"
"What then happened before that that would lead you to randomly fucking Daffy Duck, oh and wait a second was he good?!"
"NO DONALD, DAFFY WAS NOT GOOD, THAT DILDO FELT LIKE A FUCKING MACHETE AND THE CUMSHOT ALMOST BROKE MY SPINE AND THE INSIDE OF MY PUSSY!"
"Well that God he wasn't good, you think I'm better right?"
"Yes Donald, of course you are better!"
"Okay so then get back onto it, why did you just randomly decide to fuck Daffy!"
"Well..." Daisy questioned whether or not she should go into all of the Donald and Daffy shit she caused throughout the past decade.
"Well... what, I'm fucking waiting!"
"Well... you might get mad," she warned.
"Okay well I think that's a line I've already crossed!"
"You're right, um, I did it to make you less famous, I'M USING THE BATHROOM!"
"NO!"
"JUST WAIT!"
Daisy ran to take a bathroom break and mentally prepare for the truth bombs that were about to explode.
"I'm back!" She grinned.
"You fucked Daffy to make me less famous!"
"That's correct!"
"How would that make me less famous!"
"It's just that in the heat of the moment I came up with the idea that if it was Daffy and Daisy instead of Donald and Daisy then it wouldn't be equal!"
"So you don't want it to be equal?"
"NO DONALD I FUCKING DON'T, I'LL ADMIT IT I LIKE GETTING MORE ATTENTION THAN YOU, I LIKE IT WHEN I SEEM MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU, AND BITCH I BECOME FUCKING JEALOUS WHEN YOU SEEM MORE FAMOUS THAN ME!"
"YOU MADE ME SHOOT DAFFY!"
"DAMN YOU PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER FAST!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE IT ISN'T TWO AND TWO IT'S JUST WHAT MAKES SENSE, YOU ARE A JEALOUS BITCH AND YOU HAD ME SHOOT DAFFY SO I COULD BECOME CONTROVERSIAL, OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME, HOW COULD I HAVE BLAMED MYSELF FOR ALL OF THIS IT WAS SO OBVIOUS THAT YOU PLANNED THIS ALL, SHOOT HIM WHEN I YELL CHICKEN NUGGETS AND ALL THAT SHIT, AND THEN I BET YOU TOLD HIM I WAS OUT THERE, HE DID THAT SNEAK ATTACK, AND IT WAS RIGHT AFTER I WON THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE AND YOU DIDN'T, GOD WHY AM I SO FUCKING SPED?!"
"Yes it's all true, okay divorce me, have a nice life!"
"NO CUNT I AM GETTING FUCKING CLOSURE, TELL ME MORE, THERE IS A DECADE IN BETWEEN THAT WE HAVEN'T LOOKED INTO!"
"NOTHING HAPPENED IN THAT DECADE, THAT WAS THE POINT, I NEEDED A NEW TO MAKE YOU LESS FAMOUS, WELL ACTUALLY IT WASN'T ALL ME, IT WAS MORTIMER TOO!"
"MORTIMER?!"
"YES, MORTIMER WANTED ME TO GET YOU LESS FAMOUS!"
"WHY?!"
"I'M NOT EVEN SURE I MEAN HE HAS BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE WE WERE WITH WALT, HE ALWAYS WANTS TO BE MORE FAMOUS THAN HE REALLY IS AND I GUESS HE WANTED ME TO NOT FEEL THAT WAY SO AFTER I DIDN'T GET THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE HE AND I CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA!"
"GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS HE OBSESSED WITH YOU OR SOMETHING?!"
"I DON'T KNOW WHY HE WANTS IT BUT HE WANTS ME TO BE MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU, I GUESS HE SAID BECAUSE OF HOW HE'S BEEN UNLOVED IN THE PAST OR WHATEVER!"
"OKAY WELL WHATEVER, JUST CONTINUE, SO YOU WERE TRYING TO FIND A NEW WAY TO MAKE ME LESS FAMOUS..."
"AND MORTIMER AND I, AND I WILL ALSO BE HONEST AT THIS POINT, EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME I ACTUALLY WAS WANTING TO STOP DOING ALL THIS SHIT BUT I GUESS I STILL HAD SOME WANTING TO CONTINUE WITH IT OR MORTIMER TALKED ME INTO IT OR SOMETHING, BUT I REALLY WAS DONE, BUT ANYWAY AFTER THE DISNEY RENAISSANCE STARTED AND YOU AND I BECAME POPULAR AGAIN AND THEN PEOPLE STOPPED GIVING A FUCK ABOUT DAFFY, MORTIMER AND I DECIDED THAT WE NEEDED TO GET DAFFY FAMOUS AGAIN, SO I INVITED HIM TO THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST MUSICAL PREMIERE TO GET HIM BACK IN THE SPOTLIGHT AND THAT'S WHERE HE GOT MY EARRING..."
"BUT HOW DID HE ACTUALLY GET YOUR EARRINGS?!"
"THEY FELL OFF MY EARS WHEN I GOT DRUNK!"
"WHY DID IT TAKE HIM SO LONG TO GIVE THEM BACK, WAS HE HOLDING ONTO THEM WITH SEXUAL PLEASURE, BECAUSE THIS WAS A FEW MONTHS AFTER!"
"WELL HE DID SAY HE THOUGHT ABOUT ME WHEN HOLDING ONTO THEM BUT HE REALLY JUST BROUGHT THEM BACK LATER BECAUSE HE WAS IN JAIL BECAUSE I RATTED HIM OUT TO COPS THAT HE WAS BUYING DRUGS!"
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"
"I DON'T KNOW WHY, TO PISS HIM OFF OR SOMETHING, THAT ISN'T THE POINT, ANYWAY AFTER THAT THE LION KING CAME OUT AND THAT IS WHEN YOU REALLY GOT FAMOUS AGAIN AND THAT IS WHEN NOBODY GAVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID TO DAFFY IN THE PAST AND THAT IS WHY WHEN DAFFY SHOWED UP AT THE HOUSE WITH MY EARRINGS I DECIDED WITHOUT EVEN REALLY THINKING STRAIGHT TO FUCK HIM BECAUSE THEN HE WOULD GET INTO THE SPOTLIGHT AND THEN YOU WOULD BECOME LESS FAMOUS BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE WOULD REMEMBER HOW HE SHOT HIM AND PEOPLE WOULD BE TEAM DAFFY AND NOT TEAM DONALD BUT EVEN IF DAFFY IS MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU I WOULD STILL BE AT THE TOP OF THAT HIERARCHY BECAUSE I AM THE ONE OUT OF ME AND DAFFY THAT IS WORKING FOR DISNEY WHO DOESN'T HAVE ALLEGATIONS OF ATTEMPTED MURDER OF DAFFY DUCK, BUT AFTER FUCKING HIM AND HOLY SHIT IT WAS THE WORST SEX OF MY LIFE IF YOU CAN EVEN CALL IT THAT, AND AFTER I SAW THAT YOU HAD COME HOME, I COMPLETELY REGRETTED THE WHOLE THING AND SO I WENT BACK IN TO KICK DAFFY OUT, BUT HE WAS ALL LIKE NO WAY I AM YOUR DUCK NOW OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE SAID, SO I PUT KNOCKED HIM OUT AND PUT HIM IN THE ATTIC AND THAT NIGHT I TRIED TO GET HIM OUT BUT I FOUND OUT THAT HE FILMED THE WHOLE THING AND THAT'S WHEN HE STARTED BLACKMAILING ME, AND NOW YOU ARE UP TO SPEED, I'M KEEPING THE HOUSE!"
"BITCH NEITHER OF US ARE TAKING THE HOUSE, WE ARE MOVING TO ONE OF OUR OTHER ONES BUT CAN VISIT THIS ONE, BUT ONLY IF YOU AREN'T THERE, WE ARE GIVING EACH OTHER A NOTICE BEFORE GOING OVER BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING LOOK AT YOU!"
"DONALD I JUST EXPLAINED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING AND NOW YOU ARE JUST TALKING ABOUT WHAT WE ARE DOING WITH THE HOUSE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT I JUST SAID?!"
"OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID, YOU JUST ALSO MENTIONED THE HOUSE SO I WANTED TO CLEAR UP WHAT WE ARE DOING WITH IT, THERE ISN'T ANYTHING I REALLY FEEL LIKE SAYING ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY OTHER THAN IT IS FUCKING STUPID, I MEAN I GUESS I WILL SAY THIS, YOU ARE A JEALOUS FUCKING LOSER, YOU ARE A FUCKING CRYBABY, OH NO DONALD IS MORE FAMOUS THAN ME WHAT AM I GONNA DO, BITCH NOBODY EVEN SAID I WAS MORE FAMOUS, I WON THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I AM MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU!"
"WELL I FELT LIKE BECAUSE THEY NOTICED YOU FIRST THAT WAS A SIGN, AND MORTIMER AGREED!"
"OKAY WELL MORTIMER IS FUCKING INSANE AND I THINK YOU REALLY NEED TO RECOGNIZE THAT, HE IS MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD FOR SOME REASON AND I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT HE IS DOING A GOOD JOB, ME WINNING THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE AND NOT YOU DID NOT MAKE YOU LESS FAMOUS, I MEAN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE WERE TALKING MORE ABOUT YOU NOT WINNING IT THAN ME ACTUALLY WINNING IT, AND THE TWO OF US ARE A DUO, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SEEN EQUALLY SINCE THE 1920s!"
"ANOTHER THING THAT I REALIZED..."
"WITH MORTIMER'S HELP I BET!"
"WAS THAT WE ARE ALWAYS REFERRED TO AS DONALD AND DAISY NEVER DAISY AND DONALD!"
"CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER, WHO CARES?!"
"I CARE, AND THINK ABOUT WORLD WAR II!"
"YEAH THE HOLOCAUST WAS BAD, THE FUCK DOES WORLD WAR II HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS?!"
"THAT WAS ANOTHER TIME WE WEREN'T SEEN AS EQUAL!"
"BECAUSE YOU WROTE THE DUMBEST FUCKING SONG EVER, SUCK MY CLITER, BITCH WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, AND I BET YOU ONLY WROTE THAT SONG BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS OF DER FUEHER'S FACE, IN FACT I ONLY KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT'S WHY YOU WROTE IT, YOU WERE JEALOUS, BUT I IGNORED IT BECAUSE YOU HADN'T BEEN JEALOUS BEFORE AND YOU HADN'T REALLY BEEN JEALOUS AFTER UNTIL NOW, BUT YOU WERE JEALOUS OF ME IN WORLD WAR II, AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN, DER FUEHER'S FACE WAS A WAY BETTER SONG THAN SUCK MY CLITLER, HITLER HITLER SUCK MY CLITLER, THAT WAS EMBARRASSING, I FELT SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT THAT MADE ME WANT TO SLIT MY FUCKING WRISTS IT WAS SO BAD, JEWS ARE UP YOUR ASSHOLE RUNNING AROUND, WHAT DID YOU SING ABOUT AGAIN?!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP DONALD!"
"WELL I AM HONORED ACTUALLY, DAISY DUCK IS EMBARRASSED OF ME, HAHA, WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE JEALOUS, I AM BETTER, DONALD DUCK IS BETTER THAN DAISY DUCK AND ALWAYS WILL BE!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP DONALD AND BITCH IT WAS LONG BEFORE THE 1920s, THINK ABOUT HOW IT USED TO BE WHEN MICKEY AND MINNIE WERE THE MASCOTS, I WAS TREATED LIKE SHIT, LIKE I WAS NOTHING, NOBODY GAVE TWO SHITS ABOUT ME, THE SENSATIONAL SIX MY CUNT, IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE FABULOUS DUMBASS FIVE, MICKEY'S FUCKING DOG HAD HIGHER BILLING THAN ME!"
"DAISY I AM WELL AWARE THAT YOU WERE TREATED BAD, BUT HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO THE LAST BILLION YEARS, BITCH WE WON, WE WENT BACK IN TIME AND FUCKING MURDERED MICKEY AND MINNIE AND THEN BECAME POSSIBLY EVEN BETTER MASCOTS THAN THEM, WHAT FUCKING MORE DO YOU WANT, YOU HAVE CONVINCED YOURSELF ALL THIS BULLSHIT IS TRUE AND NOW IT'S CAUSING YOU TO JUST THROW AWAY ALL OUR HARD WORK, YOU ARE FAMOUS, YOU ARE A FUCKING DUCKSEKEETER, YOU ARE RICH, AND YOU ARE ENTITLED AND SPOILED, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING PROBLEMS AND YOUR LIFE SO YOU ARE MAKING THEM UP WHEN BITCH YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING CELEBRATE THE FACT THAT THE STUDIO IS IN THE BESG FUCKING SPOT IT HAS BEEN IN HISTORY!"
"BUT I CAN STILL COMPLAIN!"
"I GUESS SO BUT IT WOULD MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID!"
"NO IT WOULDN'T DONALD, I AM PISSED, ALL I HAVE EVER FUCKING WANTED IS TO BE THE MOST FAMOUS THING IN THE WORLD, I WAS TREATED BADLY, AND I DON'T TRUST THE WORLD ENOUGH, I STILL FEEL LIKE THERE A CHANCE THAT PEOPLE WON'T LOVE ME AND I AM FUCKING SCARED, AND I BLAME MICKEY AND MINNIE, IT IS THEIR FAULT, THEY RUINED ME, THEY MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, SOCIETY MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, THOSE BAGS THAT HAD YOU FIVE AND NOT ME MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, THAT LITTLE GIRL WHO DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, ASHLEY FROM DFB MENTIONING THE FAB FIVE BEING AT CHEF MICKEY'S MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, BUT I AM NO WORTHLESS, I AM DAISY FUCKING DUCK, I AM OWN DISNEY, DAISY DUCK IS THE FUCKING QUEEN OF DAISY, AND YOU WERE STEALING MY FUCKING THRONE DONALD, AND I WON'T LET YOU, YOU ARE A CRYBABY, YOU THROW TEMPER TANTRUMS AND SHIT, YOU HAVE A FUCKING SPEECH IMPEDIMENT, IT ISN'T EVEN A COMPETITION, I AM A FUCKING ICON, AND YOU SUCK, I HAVE RISEN, I AM LIKE JESUS, I HAVE RISEN AND I AM HERE AND I AM HERE TO TELL YOU DONALD DUCK THAT I AM YOUR BOSS, I DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE, I DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS, I NEED TO SHOW MY FUCKING WORTH BITCH, I NEED TO SHOW MY POWER, BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING POWER AND THE WORLD NEEDS TO FUCKING SEE IT MOTHERFUCKER, LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT MY FUCKING POWER, GOD I AM SO FUCKING MAD, GOD I JUST WANT TO FUCKING MURDER MICKEY AND MINNIE, OH WAIT I DID, OKAY WELL WHAT'S NEXT ON THE FUCKING LIST, I COULD JUST KILL MYSELF, BUT THAT IS LAME I CAN'T KILL MYSELF BECAUSE GUESS WHAT BITCH IF I KILL MYSELF THEN I CAN'T KEEP SHOWING THE WORLD HOW FUCKING ICONIC I AM, SO I AM GOING TO STAY AND I AM GOING TO BE AMAZING, JUST FUCKING WAIT YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO FUCKING BELIEVE HOW AMAZING I WILL BE, WELL ALREADY AM, MY PAST WILL NOT DEFINE ME, SO I MAY BE JEALOUS BUT MY PAST HURT ME, BUT AGAIN IT WILL NOT DEFINE ME, I WILL RISE ABOVE IT, I HAVE SHOWN MY WORTH AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO, AND YOU CAN GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT HOW JEALOUS I AM, BUT BITCH I HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO BE, I HATE THE TROUBLES OF THE PAST AND THEY STILL CAN HAUNT ME, AND I HAVE FEAR, BUT FEAR IS OKAY, IT IS OKAY, FEAR IS GOOD, FEAR IS WHAT HAS DRIVEN ME TO DO GREAT THINGS, AND I ROSE TO A NEW FAME WITH YOU, WE DID WHAT WE SET OUT TO DO, AND WALT LOVED ME, HE LOVE YOU TOO DONALD DON'T KID YOURSELF BUT I KNOW THAT YOU WOULDN'T KID YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE FAMOUS, BUT I RAPED WALT AND IT MADE HIM WORSHIP ME, FOR ALMOST FORTY YEARS HE WORSHIPPED ME, AND HE WORSHIPPED YOU BECAUSE I TOLD HIM TO, BUT I WAS HIS QUEEN, AND I WAS DAFFY'S QUEEN TOO, AND I MAY HAVE BEEN JEALOUS BUT FUCK IT LOOK AT WHAT MY FEARS ARE, BUT I HAVE ROSE ABOVE THOSE FEARS AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO, NOW ANYWAY FAREWELL DONALD DUCK WHO I AM JEALOUS OF BUT AM STILL MORE FAMOUS THAN, AND SUCK MY CLITER IS A BETTER SONG, SO FUCK MICKEY AND MINNIE AND MY PAST, AND FUCK DAFFY, AND FUCK YOU, BUT NOT ME BECAUSE I AM THE BOSS, DAISY DUCK, DAISY DUCK, DAISY DUCK, DON'T FORGET IT!"
Donald looked at Daisy as if she was the craziest thing he had ever seen.
"What?" Daisy asked.
"I'm just not sure how you can still breathe after all that, I mean Jesus you need fucking help!"
"No I don't, I just need a drink!"
"Yeah of fucking cyanide or something, you are fucking insane, go to a psych ward or something, just fuck off, I'm getting my things and getting the fuck out of here!"
Donald ran up the stairs while Daisy poured herself a glass of wine. She sat and stared blankly around the house, drinking the wine down as if it were a glass of water, before Donald dropped something while packing and reality began to set in a bit more. Donald was actually moving out, this wasn't some fucking joke, he was leaving her, she had to fix this.
"DONALD NO!"
Daisy charged up the stairs as fast as she could and ran into the room where he was getting his things.
"Now I'll come back later, preferably when you aren't here, but I'm just getting enough for at the most this next week!"
"Is this for real?!"
"Yes Daisy, this is for real!"
"DONALD PLEASE NO, YOU CAN'T DIVORCE ME!"
"UM I ABSOLUTELY CAN AND I AM, I AM NOT SPENDING ANOTHER SECOND WITH YOUR CRAZY ASS!"
"DONALD PLEASE, I AM SO SORRY, I AM SO FUCKING SORRY, I SO MUCH REGRET, BUT I HAVE CHANGED, WE NEED TO BE TOGETHER, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
"OH COME ON DONALD DON'T BE SUCH A HYPOCRITE, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE SO PERFECT EITHER, YOU HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS TOO, YOU ARE CRAZY TOO, YOU THROW TANTRUMS AND SHIT!"
"STILL LEAVING!"
"PLEASE FORGIVE ME, IF YOU DON'T FORGIVE ME I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU I SWEAR TO GOD!"
"OH WELL THAT IS NICE!"
"OKAY I DIDN'T MEAN THAT PART, DONALD IT IS CALLED A JOKE, JUST FUCKING TAKE IT, TAKE THE FUCKING JOKE JUST LIKE HOW YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE ME BACK!"
"I AM NOT TAKING YOU BACK!"
"YES YOU ARE!"
Daisy laid on top of Donald's suitcase keeping it shut.
"DAISY GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"NO PLEASE, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, PLEASE, PLEASE!"
"DAISY I'M FUCKING WARNING YOU GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!"
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"PLEASE DONALD, PLEASE PLEASE, I LOVE YOU!"
Donald punched Daisy across the face so hard that her nose broke. The two of them stared at each other aggressively, Donald quickly regretting his decision with how mad Daisy looked.
"Oh it's on!" She whispered with a devilish look.
Daisy got off the suitcase and punched Donald in the face very hard as well, sending him to the wall. She jumped on top of him and began punching all over his body, but Donald began wailing on her as well. Donald poked her in the eye distracting her and then began punching her vagina as hard as he could as she screamed in pain. Daisy grabbed Donald's head and began shoving it up and down the floor. Donald picked Daisy up and pushed her so hard against the wall and began punching her stomach until she threw up. Daisy ran out of the room and for the staircase but Donald grabbed her and pushed her back to the floor. Daisy pushed her legs up and started kicking Donald's face repeatedly. She then got back up and ran down the hallway but Donald chased after her and the two continued shoving each other against the wall. At this point both of them were bleeding both external and internally but they didn't care. They didn't want to stop. Daisy spit her blood into Donald's face and began punching his beak so much until it began cracking. Donald kicked Daisy's shin causing her to fall over while Daisy slammed her foot against Donald's until his bones inside began to break. Donald grabbed Daisy's head and slammed his head against her's making them both dizzy but especially Daisy. Daisy tried to stand back up but Donald punched her stomach violently again pushing her back to the floor. They were now at the top of the staircase and Daisy slammed her head hard against the top step. She felt like she had a concussion but she wouldn't let Donald overpower her, so she reached her hands out and grabbed him and then threw him back and he began to fall down the hardwood stairs. He made it halfway down before stopping and screaming in pain following several heavy blows to his skull. Daisy took this time to stand up and walked down the stairs before she jumped on top of Donald again and rolled the two of them down the stairs even faster this time, and punched Donald as hard as she could on the way down. Donald eventually gained enough strength to get up, grab Daisy, and begin hitting her forehead against the edge of the steps. The forehead received a big gash and blood began pouring down her face.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, DONALD STOP IT!"
Daisy kicked behind her, hitting Donald's rib cage painfully, and causing him to lose balance and fall down the stairs, this time reaching the bottom. He hit the floor face first so hard that he beak and nose completely burst open and blood was spilling everywhere.
"YOU CUNT!"
"PUT ON A FUCKING WIFEBEATER BEFORE WE KEEP GOING!"
"OH BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FUCKING INNOCENT!"
Daisy ran back downstairs and punched Donald right in the chest sending him back to the floor. She got on top of him and the two of them punched each other multiple times while rolling around the floor. Daisy grabbed Donald's humorous and hit it against the ground very hard, sending tingles all up his body. Donald lifted Daisy up only to kick her spine hard enough to almost break it. Daisy could now hardly move, but she could still control her leg and kicked Donald in the kidney with it firmly, which sent him fumbling to his left and hitting the rough side of the dining room table with his head and impaling the side of his head enough that it drew blood. Donald was furious and walked back towards Daisy where he began jumping all over her body. Daisy grabbed Donald's leg and swung him over to the door which was opened outside of a glass screen door which Donald broke through. Donald was now covered in broken class and gained many bloody gashes. Daisy took this time to get to her feet, but by the time she got to Donald just getting there took such a toll on her back that she just fell back on top of him and now broken glass was going into her too. Donald took this time to kick Daisy off of her and begin punching her down the driveway. She was getting her skin scraped across the concrete which burnt her skin and left bad cuts. Donald felt so much anger looking at her that punching wasn't enough, he grabbed her neck and began strangling her violently. Daisy looked up and began punching Donald's hands, but he looked so mad and so out of it that she was beginning to get concerned that he might actually strangle her to death. But he then looked forward and suddenly let go. Daisy took this time to punch him in the face multiple times before realizing there was probably a reason why Donald stopped choking her. She had a feeling of what it was and when she turned around she was proven correct. What looked like all of ToonTown was staring at them with many filming. They also saw that there were cameras even pointed right in the house so the entire fight from inside could be seen too. Donald and Daisy figured a lot of these people had been here since they got home from the premiere just to see what would go down. Donald and Daisy then looked at everyone and smiled because they didn't know what else to do.
"We're getting a divorce!" Daisy giggled.